Friday, 17 April 2009

Casualty of stress. (J)

Today I lost a friend and I feel terrible.

I've cried a lot today. Put it all together for classes and students. Cried a lot in between.

The friend who tried to get me out for my birthday with onsen tickets - told me this morning that she felt very hurt by my constant refusal to fix a date for going out with her etc in March. And that she doesn't want to see me anymore.

She's refused to answer many phone calls over the past month. I sensed something very wrong. I went to her apartment at 8 am today and confronted her as she left for work.

We both cried. But she was clear. She feels hurt and thinks it's best we don't meet.

We've known each other for years. Camping, hiking, drinking, eating.
I've always hated people who drop their single friends once they get married or have kids. But in all the whirlwind of March and April - my trip to England for dad, Okaasan and Yujiro, the cat, the househunting...I failed to make time for this friend.

She's wrong to feel hurt. I'm wrong to have not found ONE day to meet her for my birthday in March.

If you are ever swept up in a life change situation like this be really careful not to fail to hang onto friends. I feel I've failed to organise my life. I let this whole Okaasan situation take my life over.

Bad day.
I came home and Yujiro took me out to dinner. We told Okaasan to order some food delivery. It was nice to have dinner out, just him and me.

But now I am going to bed. Tomorrow is a six hour teaching day. I need more energy.











No comments:

Post a Comment