Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Dinner Missteps...again

If I was the suspicious type (which of course I am not...) I would think that Okaasan actively tries to avoid my dinners.
Last night again - she came home late, and then when the food was all set out in front of her - didn't want it.

She isn't planning this I know. And I let the ripple of exasperation run thru me and try to move on. But it IS frustrating.

Tuesday is a busy day. Classes. The knee. I did some shopping afterwork.
Home. Kittens (last supper before The Snip).
There were the remains of tofu and egg and instant miso soup scattered around the kitchen counter and in a pan. And a supermarket pack of shellfish left on the kitchen table in the warmest day of the year. I guessed Okaasan had gone out, done some shopping and then tried to cook something. We had a left the "Go out for lunch" notice on the table, but maybe she'd shopped and amazingly tried to cook something herself.
She'd also done a lot of handwashing of underwear.

At 5.50 pm Okaasan went out again.
Yujiro came home.
6.30 I started cooking dinner - a stir fry with the mushrooms and fishpaste sausages Okaasan bought the other day.
Yujiro checked on the Internet about how to wash out the shellfish by putting them in salty water to make them open up.
At 7 pm we called Okaasan and reminded her...again...that family dinner is at 7 pm so please come home.
As usual: she was 10 minutes away in the Macdonalds drinking coffee and eating MacNuggets.
We ate our dinner. It was pretty good I thought.
Okaasan came home at 7.25 pm.
She sat down at the table and looked tired.
I reheated her food and served her.
She looked at all the plates: No, I'm not so hungry. I ate when I was out. I'm tired.


So we made gentle noises and cleared the table. I went upstairs to call my step-mum in England (who is doing great!!! Yeah!!) and Okaasan finally settled down under the heated table blanket and with the TV.

I KNOW she doesn't plan it. But it does seem that when I cook - and when it is half way deliicious - she isn't feeling like it. Or comes so late and doesn't want it.
Yesterday she may have eaten when she went shopping, she ate something at home, then she had MacNuggets at 6.30 pm.....

*  Yujiro is just beginning to realize that his mum's conversation style isn't normal - he is talking to more elderly people now in his Bicycle Taxi job. He says he notices how lively and engaged they are in conversation - and how different that is from Okaasan. In the tennis game of conversation she doesn't  do serves herself, and often doesn't return serve at all, or goes to the ball late, or the wrong ball. Or she just stands at the baseline while balls bounce around....and as I've mentioned, I think recently her ball contact time has decreased. 

* Talking of balls - Chichi and Popo have gone in to the vets for the Big Snip. Yujiro and I actually went and slept at my English classroom last night, so we wouldn't have to spend 3 hours this morning with desperatly hungry and confused kittens. No food before the operation of course. But they don't know that.
Poor little buggers. One website said they will be more affectionate after the operation. I hope not: if Popo gets any more affectionate I won't have any neck or face skin left!


  1. The thing that amazes me is that Okaasan seems to be constantly eating. Is this a thing with dementia that their stomach is never full? I mean even if you don't remember you ate, usually you would have that feeling of fullness wouldn't you?
    It just baffles me how she seems to go and eat eat eat all around the town.

  2. It's strange isn't it...I'd have thought so too...but 50% of the time I think she just eats again.
    Sometimes she sees us preparing food and says: Oh I ate when I was out, so I don't feel hungry. But usually it's more a case of the food being on the table and THEN she doesn't want it.
    It's a lot like small children who say they want a pudding, but then after 2 mouthfuls actually don't want anymore...I'm sure it IS connected to the dementia, less awareness of feeling and decision making.
    The same goes for going out in patently awful weather - just because she had the idea of Going Out For A walk, but when she gets to the front door and a typhoon is blowing, she doesn't make the decision to come back inside...she just goes on...