Friday, 27 August 2010
This...and a lot of That.
She is home. I just talked to her for 5 minutes. She sounded tired, old and a little confused (telling me at one point that dad had ordered the flowers for me in Cheltenham! I hope not...he's been dead a year!!!.) But she is home...with TWO carers to help for a week or two...to see if she can get any stronger in the nice home environment.
Apart from this....work and stuff.
I feel tired at the end of the day. I try not to eat too much. That is good. My body doesn't feel so distended if I don't eat so much.
Tonight I cooked liver for some strength...and the potato/cabbage fry thing that Okaasan and Yujiro like. Okaasan didn't want to eat much of the liver - so then needed more tofu stuff heated up and kindly told me I should cut the cabbage bigger next time.
It's that old culture thing: Olders can tell Youngers how to improve thing that is so big in Asian societies. I just smiled weakly and let it wash over me. ("Maybe you ought to get off your backside and cook it yourself then" is actually what I was thinking...).
This morning had a big melt down with Yujiro: supposedly about my cancelled Hawaiian holiday and how best to use the airmiles. But really of course about so much more...lots of tears, hurt feelings, raised voices, closed doors and sulking. Not nice. Don't need that.
We both said sorry by the time he went for work. But it was an exhausting start to the day.
So much emotional stuff floating round this house this week.
I am very sad to cancel Hawaii. It would be one week after leaving hospital and I don't know how I will feel by then. I also feel guilty about taking another week off work...I AM going to go to Tokyo to see Adam lambert in concert because that is a one-off chance and I'll be travelling with Yujiro and a friend...but Hawaii...too far....
Last year as I sat endlessly on ANA flights to and from Tokyo and London I promised myself a real holiday with all the airmiles I was getting...and I thought Hawaii was it...now it all gets put back again.
One day, one day...I will escape.
* End on a Light Point: students have been telling me that in Japan the surgeons come out of the operating room and SHOW the family the body part they have removed! All bloody on a surgical tray! A kind of confirmation process. So, I guess Yujiro will get to see the Melon Monster....you may want to make a note now to NOT open this blog sometime mid-September....well, certainly not while eating.