Friday, 27 August 2010

This...and a lot of That.

These are some beautiful big lillies that my step-mum has just sent from England - as a "Thinking of You" present for dad's anniversary and impending hospital stay.
She is home. I just talked to her for 5 minutes. She sounded tired, old and a little confused (telling me at one point that dad had ordered the flowers for me in Cheltenham! I hope not...he's been dead a year!!!.) But she is home...with TWO carers to help for a week or see if she can get any stronger in the nice home environment.

Apart from and stuff.

I feel tired at the end of the day. I try not to eat too much. That is good. My body doesn't feel so distended if I don't eat so much.
Tonight I cooked liver for some strength...and the potato/cabbage fry thing that Okaasan and Yujiro like. Okaasan didn't want to eat much of the liver - so then needed more tofu stuff heated up and kindly told me I should cut the cabbage bigger next time.
It's that old culture thing:  Olders can tell Youngers how to improve thing that is so big in Asian societies. I just smiled weakly and let it wash over me. ("Maybe you ought to get off your backside and cook it yourself then" is actually what I was thinking...).

This morning had a big melt down with Yujiro: supposedly about my cancelled Hawaiian holiday and how best to use the airmiles. But really of course about so much more...lots of tears, hurt feelings, raised voices, closed doors and sulking. Not nice. Don't need that.
We both said sorry by the time he went for work. But it was an exhausting start to the day.
So much emotional stuff floating round this house this week.

I am very sad to cancel Hawaii. It would be one week after leaving hospital and I don't know how I will feel by then. I also feel guilty about taking another week off work...I AM going to go to Tokyo to see Adam lambert in concert because that is a one-off chance and I'll be travelling with Yujiro and a friend...but Hawaii...too far....

Last year as I sat endlessly on ANA flights to and from Tokyo and London I promised myself a real holiday with all the airmiles I was getting...and I thought Hawaii was it all gets put back again.
One day, one day...I will escape.

* End on a Light Point: students have been telling me that in Japan the surgeons come out of the operating room and SHOW the family the body part they have removed! All bloody on a surgical tray! A kind of confirmation process. So, I guess Yujiro will get to see the Melon may want to make a note now to NOT open this blog sometime mid-September....well, certainly not while eating.


  1. I've heard that about removed bits too. Gross but in a way reassuring that the whole thing is out. IN NZ, they shoed my mum the part of the tumor they cut out but have never heard about other organs or what not.

    Sorry to hear you and Yujiro had a blow out. I hope you can get away with not too many emotionally draining episodes before your time in hospital. I have every faith that a hammock and a cocktail on the beach in Hawaii still awaits -perhaps just a little bit later. Hope you were able to cancel everything without losing out.

    It must be so tempting to tell okaasan what you really feel - especially as she won't be able to remember it :D

    Here's to calm and quiet in the oyomesan house this weekend.

  2. It's not just family members who get to see the removed bits -- if a friend is the support person (because no family members are available) they get to see what's been cut out... It's a little shocking if you're not expecting it. Which I wasn't...

  3. Maybe after this whole thing is over you can treat yourself to a holiday away with the airmiles hey? Something to look forward to. :)