Friday, 10 December 2010

Counting your dementia blessings....

Life ain't all bad.
In the spirit of the coming season I realized this week that the situation we have here with Okaasan isn't so bad. At all. Yet.

I know I whinge and whine. But.

Two stories from friends this week reminded me to count my dementia blessings:

The father of a friend in the UK died in hospital, which she said herself  was a merciful release. I think he had dementia with Lewy bodies - which really effects the whole physical ability of walking and so on. He didn't recognise his own daughter anymore and she felt as though her father had "died" more than a few years ago.
B and his wife were good friends with my mother and when I was a kid I can remember them all having parties and being cool adults together.
He's been on my mind a lot this week as I remember the tall, handsome, sociable guy he was. I feel for my friend.

And then last night I went to dinner and movie (Leonie) with an old student/friend. HER father has gone dramatically into a form of dementia which the doctor think is the result of far, far too much alcohol over a lifetime. He can't walk far, he can't remember things, he gets into rages...his wife and daughters are steering him into the bath. He's eating loads because he doesn't remember eating. They are currently doing the whole hospital-visits-brain-scans thing.
My friend looked exhausted and stressed.

So. I have an old lady at home who sits and watches TV all day. Goes for walks. Feeds herself. Washes herself. Tells the same stories a lot. Doesn't wash underwear. Doesn't clean her room. Buys random stuff.

And I have a man who shops and cooks for her 90% of the time.

Am counting all my little dementia blessings RIGHT now!

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