Monday, 27 December 2010

Stockholm Syndrome?

IpsychologyStockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, essentially mistaking a lack of abuse from their captors as an act of kindness.

I think I am getting it.
Or Okaasan is.
Or both of us.
Forced to spend days and days alone with eachother in this house.
She relies on me for conversation and food.
I rely on her for....what?

But something is a-changing in our relationship.
Like: we are actually HAVING a relationship.

Since the Whiskey Bonbon Giving in the Kitchen yesterday we have enjoyed a chatty and laughing lunch of Christmas leftovers, giggled about the cats with their pink noses from the cold...and shared more chat over Nagoya miso oden...
I kindly offered to take Okaasan to the local shops in the car (after she set out at 4.20 pm for a walk and only got 3, icy-sheet meters beyond the garden fence) and she gave me miracle cream that will heal my cat scratched finger. AND she washed all the dishes after dinner because of my finger.

All in all very good.

Of course now I am on holidays (well, apart from 2 classes and a student lunch today), so I am more relaxed and kind. And her focus is, by necessity, switched from Yujiro to me. When I was in hospital for 10 days in September, and then in England in October our fatcat Popo did the same with Yujiro, he had to overcome his usual barely controlled terror and relate to the person who opened the cans.

Now Okaasan and Me.

We are doing ok with eachother. Doing well, actually. 

I feel sorry that she can't get out though. The roads in Sapporo are worthy of ice-dancers. Yesterday I went to the homecare center and bought three bags of calcium and gravel to spread on the road outside the house, and from the front door to the road.
But it is FAR too dangerous for Okaasan. Yesterday she got all dressed up, I heard the front door open....and from the window I saw her venture out beyond the fence to the road...and then scuttle back inside. She went out on Friday for 2 it is Monday. 

Today is the last-class-of-the-year for hula dance, but I don't think she can make it.
I'll try and take Okaasan OUT for dinner tonight - just so she can get out of the house and see a different view.

 Or....and this shows how mellow I am becoming ...I wondered about ASKING her to come with me to the supermarket and help poor-me choose the correct fish paste for New Year food.....going to a supermarket will take ages, because she will want to go round and round checking the same things and trying to put them in the shopping trolley...but...but...she WOULD enjoy it.... kind am I in reality?


  1. Don't question the kindness! Happy Christmas!

  2. I agree I think you don't need to question. You're more relaxed now, so you're able to be more yourself... A naturally kind person!

  3. About the icy pavements, have you thought about buying these for okaasan?

  4. Hi Bangasa Kimono (crazy name!)

    Yes, we do have some of those somewhere...we used them last year and we should again this are right...hadn't thought about that...stupidly!