Saturday, 26 November 2011

Middle-aged. Really?

How did THAT happen?

That ski bum boy I fell for....just turned 53 years old.
And the sliver of cake in the Italian restaurant was too small to get any more than 4 candles on it!

He and I left sushi for Okaasan (she must come to hate sushi dinners cos she knows she is eating alone), and we slipped away downtown with our Groupon vouchers for a Y5,000 course dinner for 50% price. We are a very cheap couple.

In the morning I jokingly reminded Okaasan that it WAS her son's birthday, and thanked her profusely for creating such a wonderful guy....joke joke. She enjoyed that conversation...but  when he mentioned it again to her at lunchtime...she'd already forgotten it.

Was it only 3 years ago that I whisked him away to India on a surprise holiday? And we came back....and moved his mother in to live with us? Seems a million years ago. SO much has happened. Life has changed. Both of us became middle-aged and (almost) responsible...elderly care, sickness, death, lawyers, tax advisers, funerals....a lot of life.

Last night I started in on the Christmas cards. I'm using a bag of cards that I took from Dad and Jane's house a year ago, and they arrived here in Japan in my boxes of stuff earlier this year.
So, it was a little strange to be sitting down and sorting through Jane's Christmas card selection. Cards that she'd bought and she'd bought with ME in mind. Talk about poignant. Apart from me, there is one other cat-lover in her family - niece Anna - so I know all the cards with cat pictures were bought to send to either Anna or I.

Pretty poignant. I was very, very loved. I felt Jane was there with me looking through the cards and deciding which to send to who. I'm sending many of her cards back to England to her friends and family members. Mourning never goes away completely, it just hides under the table a bit and waits for a leg to grab.

Sorry. Sad post. Not sad really. End of year blues maybe?

Better have a cute cat photo to cheer it all up.

Popo thinks he may be Super Cat. All he needs is the cape and the underpants.


  1. Wow. What a great blog! You must have been one of the first foreign chicks in the history of Japan to marry and settle here. Awesome. You're the Yoda that all other women who have done the same since, should come to for advice, albeit you seem to have done it really well; living in a nice part of Japan, you've got the yuki guni going on for part of the year, you've got the nicer clime in the suumer - we're all envious of you Hokkers - and a lovely husband. Congratulations to you both for making it all happen so well, and that holiday to India, wow, I hope you blogged some pics, might have to do some trawling.
    Re: the cards, I can imagine. So personal and it's lovely you will be using them.

  2. thankyou! There's a LOT of us who went-native and married into a miso soup drinking clan. And I guess increasing numbers of us are living with the oldies too and taking on carer roles we never imagined.

    India - yes it was wonderful. I planned it all secretly, got him to sign the visa papers without knowing whaht he was signing...took him to the airport and at the check-in counter gave him a parcel. Inside was a guidebook to India.:-) That was just before this blog maybe no pix here....

  3. Happy Birthday Ski bum boy! ha ha!!! time really does fly.... i've been here 20 yrs this year... now when did THAT happen???? ha ha! enjoy! like Popo's pix by the way...

  4. A, you definitely don't look middle-aged. and you certainly don't 'write' middle-aged!! i think you are young at heart. i love reading your blog, even the sad bits. even though it may be a bit difficult emotionally, i bet it was also wonderful to go through those cards of jane's.

  5. Dear Yodda.

    Happy birthday ski bum - I am sure there will come a time when you are able to whisk him away again soon.

    It sounds like okaasan is slipping slightly? I hadn't read about the GPS phone but what a great idea. I plan on getting one for the kids so I know where they are. Actually, one for husband too.

    My sister took mum's card and prezzie box with huge selection of very random cards. I am about to go through box of old letters and kiddy artwork. When I get back to Japan I will duely burn all the tables in the house so there are no legs.