Trying to banish all thoughts of scary men (and it IS always men isn't it!), I gave Okaasan a day of good, reassuring routines.
Took the newspaper to her room and chatted about the weather.
Started the morning bath running and gave her the hair dryer.
Left for work with a cheery "Goodbye! I'm going now!"
Lunch delivery while I was away.
Came home at 4 pm and my coming into the kitchen kick-starts her late afternoon activity - so she got up, got dressed and set out for a walk.
Laid the table for two and heated up various leftovers.
Okaasan home at 6.15 pm. More weather chat.
Dinner on the table at 7 pm.
An hour - an HOUR!!!! - of chat about flat fish, prewar fish supplies to Kawagoe, wartime food, fish types of Japan, fish prices, Okaasan's mother's family in Sapporo a long time ago (10 children !!), crabs, rich Chinese tourists, flat fish...
....and finally I washed my dinner dishes and she washed her dishes and we both retreated to our living rooms and TVs.
I didn't put the sign on the front door, and decided to switch off the outside light. There is a scattering of ice candles outside, in various stages of success as I battle with buckets and water, so I think any bad man can readily recognise that someone cack-handed is living here.
Not a scary man in sight.
It's February!!!! He is home....???? Saturday??? Sunday???
This past week I've heard 3 different student stories about relatives starting day care center attendance. Sounds soooooo nice. Hope I can push the mountain of indifference (Yujiro) and get Okaasan assessed, accepted and willing to go to day care by next winter.
That's how I think of it: first have to persuade Yujiro that this IS something worth pushing for. Then of course, supporting him while he persuades Okaasan to go for a health check with a despised doctor...then beyond assessment and far, far into the future there would probably be a visit to observe a day center and then hopefully a grudging agreement to try it.
One day my day care center service will come.