Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Routine, routine...

Trying to banish all thoughts of scary men (and it IS always men isn't it!), I gave Okaasan a day of good, reassuring routines.

Took the newspaper to her room and chatted about the weather.
Started the morning bath running and gave her the hair dryer.
Left for work with a cheery "Goodbye! I'm going now!"
Lunch delivery while I was away.
Came home at 4 pm and my coming into the kitchen kick-starts her late afternoon activity - so she got up, got dressed and set out for a walk.
Laid the table for two and heated up various leftovers.
Okaasan home at 6.15 pm. More weather chat.
Dinner on the table at 7 pm.
An hour - an HOUR!!!! - of chat about flat fish, prewar fish supplies to Kawagoe, wartime food, fish types of Japan, fish prices, Okaasan's mother's family in Sapporo a long time ago (10 children !!), crabs, rich Chinese tourists, flat fish...

....and finally I washed my dinner dishes and she washed her dishes and we both retreated to our living rooms and TVs.

I didn't put the sign on the front door, and decided to switch off the outside light. There is a scattering of ice candles outside, in various stages of success as I battle with buckets and water, so I think any bad man can readily recognise that someone cack-handed is living here.

Not a scary man in sight.
I hope.

It's February!!!! He is home....???? Saturday??? Sunday??? 

This past week I've heard 3 different student stories about relatives starting day care center attendance. Sounds soooooo nice. Hope I can push the mountain of indifference (Yujiro) and get Okaasan assessed, accepted and willing to go to day care by next winter.
That's how I think of it: first have to persuade Yujiro that this IS something worth pushing for. Then of course, supporting him while he persuades Okaasan to go for a health check with a despised doctor...then beyond assessment and far, far into the future there would probably be a visit to observe a day center and then hopefully a grudging agreement to try it.

One day my day care center service will come.


  1. What are ice candles and how would they deter a suspicious man? Or woman with a bunny. Women can be scary if they have bunnies.

    I hope you can convince Yujiro it would be good for okaasan. What would he have done if he didn't have you? Credit to you for spending an hour talking about flat fish and ten children. Hope Yujiro is home for a decent stretch and you get decent away and recharge time.
    Take care in all that snow. It looks crazy.

  2. Ice candles are what SOME people create if they leave water in a bucket overnight, turn it upsidedown the next day and put a little candle inside.....I just seem to get frozen lumps shaped like a bucket.

    what would Yujiro have done if not for me? Signed on at a boring ski school in the city limits and skied the same bloody coure for 3 months with beginners...

  3. I wonder if you might convince Yujiro if you point out that, if you weren't around to look after her while he was at work, he would have to explore other alternatives. He's only avoiding getting her assessed and looking into other means of support because he can and it is important to consider what would happen if he couldn't (in the event that you had to go home for an emergency... unlikely as that seems since your parents have passed away already, or if you had a health issue or accident). It's not only unfair to you not to work out a contingency, but it's unfair to Okaasan who would be the one who would suffer if her current sole support (you) when he is working is not available.

    You continue to operate, in my eyes, as an extremely patient and saint-like partner and "oyome-san". :-)

  4. I hear ye! I hear ye!

    and yes, if one of us suddenly was out-of-action (quite a high risk of that in a snowy world), then the other would be floundering without public support.

    saint-like??? do what I have to/what I feel I should/what I think will keep her manageable....and then I escape to curry/chocolate/alcohol/cats/movies....