Thursday, 25 October 2012

One-sided fighting.

This week Okaasan and I had a fight.
Cos she forgot to tell me. So I didn't know.
Just as well, really. That's the best kind of fight: one-sided.

All was fine.
Yesterday afternoon Yujiro got a call from Okaasan, while he was working.
"I want to out shopping, and I don't have any money."
"Ahh, I won't be home for about 2 hours. Can't you ask Oyomesan?"
"No, I don't want to borrow money from her. We are fighting!"
"Fighting? No, you're not fighting with Oyomesan. Ask her for money, when she comes home".

I got home about 4 pm and found Okaasan in the entrance hall with her coat and bags - she asked me for money, I gladly gave it to her (had forgotten to dole out a little in the morning) and off she went.

Yujiro told me later that I was in the middle of a fight with Okaasan, which we both found mysterious - because I wasn't to my knowledge fighting at all. However, looking back at Tuesday night dinner time Okaasan HAD seemed a bit stony faced and quiet while we prattled on about things.
Was that a fight? Over what? I took laundry from her room to do on Monday usual...was it that? I do that every week....

All very odd.
At 7.15 pm we all met in the kitchen for dinner. I felt nervous: would there be some terrible atmosphere and then accusations about "you go into my room and steal things" etc etc.

I walked into the kitchen. Okaasan looked up, all smiles and cheerful. Greetings. Response to chat. Giggles about the cat. Comments on the the food. All fine.
The fighting had come....stayed a while...and gone.


  1. Wow, how hard for you. So hard to figure out what is happening. Maybe you can make an envelope system for the daily money, where she has to sign the envelope when she receives it. (but I imagine that the feeling wasn't about money..)
    Also I was thinking about the word day care, and if they could discribe it another way.. for example 'kominkan' activities.. Just thinking that it may be hard for your mother in law to listen to the explanation and then be able to decide this in one day if she wants to attend or not, when she hasn't seen the place and doesn't know anyone attending etc. Hoping that everything goes smoothly. Nancy

  2. Yes, I don't know how they will describe it to her - they must have experience with this - reluctance to go! I hope they and Dear Son will stress the EXERCISE elements of the place - go and exercise, which is good for health - and a FREE bus and a lunch.
    Funnily enough - about us handing out money to her - she seems fine with that. I think it's vestiges of having a husband give her money for spending years and years ago...we hand it over each day and she is happy with that arrangement.