We're at that stage. Finally.
Choosing a day service center.
And learning the difference between Day Care and Day Service. Things we've never, ever thought about.
He got back from his holiday and awaiting for him was the To Do list that every woman has ready for a man.
1.Take car to garage to get summer/winter tires changed.
2. Read the paperwork about day service.
I asked one of my friends (whose parents have used various services) to talk directly to Dear Son: so I connected them up on the telephone and left them to chat about care plans and care managers and how to go about it all. And I chatted to a woman at the gym, whose 89 year old mother-in-law goes to the local center too. All information gathering.
The snow is here - in bits and pieces, but coming for sure. So really it IS time to get Okaasan sorted for winter exercise. She is still going out when the weather is good. In fact she went off twice last week with the Kawagoe souvenirs to give to the friend in the coffee shop (sweet!), but the time of icy streets and knee deep drifts is hiding down the street and round the corner.
And I discovered why Okaasan has been oddly going out in just a thick cardigan or thin summer coat recently: her warm coat is dirty and needs cleaning. But she hasn't done anything about that, or said anything about it ;-( More and more recently she is failing to take action on a personal need, or express a need. I think I should ask her more directly and try to check if there is something she wants - but isn't telling us.
Many people with dementia start to look dirty and unkempt and I guess it's because they only notice something is dirty when they want to use it, so they don't use it, and then they forget to do anything...and so it goes, on and on.
We had a great long 3-day weekend in Japan. I really needed it after last week. It was also his birthday weekend. My GOD! He is 54 years old....seems very old. Not possible. We did a lot of eating out of BBQ meat, and plum wine and beer, and hamburgers and ...and ....I need to eat salad this week.
Okaasan wasn't really aware it was her son's birthday. We told her a few times, and we had (another) bottle of cheap BJ at dinner last night and the three of us toasted the occasion. Then I hid the rest of the bottle by my feet, under the table, so that Okaasan wouldn't demand any more alcohol.
So. I hope this week he will investigate the day service and make an application so that Okaasan can start sooooon.