He's ok with what I did.
I'm not cast out into the snow with the cats and no home.
He and I talked on the phone, and he understands why I called - actually thanked me, in fact - and we mulled over it all.
Leave it be. Leave her quietly vegitating on Monday morning. I guess the bus won't come. I'll just make her lunch and leave it for her in the flasks.
He'll come back next week and the Manager man will come again. Okaasan will have another whirling around on all topics chat....and then we'll see....
Okaasan and I ate a quiet dinner a deux. Talked about cats and snow, and natto and tofu making. She was fine. I was knackered. It's hard to put on the "normal" face when inside you just feel disappointment and resentment. But she doesn't know. She has no idea how much effort there is in the background. She didn't talk about the manager visit, I cleared away the day service center leaflets and we carried on as normal.
But, a funny flashback to yesterday: while I was listening at the kitchen door I heard the manager talking to Okaasan about me:
"Amanda's a good Oyomesan, isn't she?"
"She is English." (my nationality is of course a guarantee of being a good person :-))
"Do you speak English with her?"
"Me? No! She has lived in Japan a long time, she knows Japanese and Japan, many things".
"Ah, it's nice to have a kind Oyomesan, isn't it".
Mmmmm... that'll do. :-)
*I'm off now into another weekend of things-I-must/want-to-do: got a tourist association foreigners survey job this morning, then maybe lunch with friends, then a party tonight (am I actually able to stay awake and GO to a party that starts after 8 pm?), then tomorrow is the Hokkaido teacher's association Xmas potluck....and I think I'll have to drop an anti-nuclear film and a talkshow by a Hiroshima survivor from the schedule.
Oh! And Christmas cards for all students and friends in Japan to write....and Christmas lessons to prepare.
Bugger it all: I want to go skiing.
When I first came to live here I used to ski every week, sometimes twice a week..now I seem to be awash with things-to-do.
I need to go skiing.