Thursday, 19 September 2013

1 year later dementia level

Is 12/30.
Last year 15/30.

Now, a bit worse. But not "too bad" according to the mental health clinic doc.
Dear Son said he thought it would be worse, he feels Okaasan is worse than a year ago, I feel she is sometimes worse - when she is stressed or tired.

Two points on a pretty vague scale anyway. Remember 3 things, take 7 away from 100, then 5 away from that, name 10 vegetables etc...that kind of interview.
And the doctor said she was worried about Okaasan's leg and what what happen to her mental condition if she stayed inside asleep too much...a warning to Dear Son.

A friend's father was Level 12 - and he was pretty far gone in toilet control, anger at the family, wandering at night. So "12" covers a big area. Okaasan, usually, isn't so bad.

Okaasan was NOT happy about going. Dear Son came back from work mid-afternoon and struggled to get Okaasan up and out.
He told her directly that she was going to a clinic for an annual dementia assessment. She kept mixing that up with a hospital for her painful -leg!!!! "Why am I going, I don't need/want to go, it got better before with no hospital" etc etc etc. On and on and on.
I came home to meet a friend just at the clinic appointment time, and was surprised to find them both still here - getting into the car. Okaasan's face a stony fury.

Dear Son said Okaasan did ok on the maths questions etc - she used to work in an accounts office afterall - but badly on the Remember a List task. And HE, listening to the interview also found himself struggling to remember some things on the list....with slight panic.

In the evening at home. Okaasan angry with us. Ordering us loudly to close curtains and the whole dinner/no dinner scene again. Sigh.

This morning.
Going to day care. NOT going to day care. A level of anger still.
The day care car came.
I HID upstairs, so that Okaasan would be forced to get up off the carpet and walk to the entrance hall and tell the driver herself that she didn't want to go.

"Yesterday my son took me to a hospital for my leg, it hurts still...I don't remember what the doctor said. X-ray? Medicine? Cold pack? Cream? No.....I don't think so. I don't know what the doctor said....look I can't wall, I am just going to sleep here, that's better".

I listened to the whole conversation from upstairs. Listened to the staff try and try to get Okaasan to change her mind and go, asking lots of supportive questions...


* I'm sorry if my response to yesterday's comment by F came over as an attack back at her - it really wasn't meant to be that. I get this question from many people - about Okaasan and doctors - and my head feel hurt. My heart pounds because I get angry at Okaasan and Dear Son.
Next month I am going on holiday to Kyoto. Just me. Looking forward to it.


  1. 3 points, Not too bad but still a decline.
    Not too bad but the Dr doesn't live with you and see or hear what happens.
    To me, 3 points in a year is plenty.

    It's funny that Hubby had those same testings done prior to his diagnosis and I STILL remember those 3 things he was asked to remember. I found myself determined I would remember them and I wonder if I will ever forget them, that was 6 yrs ago LOL!

    I'm actually excited for you going on holiday!


  2. Well, after reading the last comments I decided to say good bye to you and your blog.

    As you know I am not a native speaker of English and that sometimes makes writing complicated, but rest assured I always wanted to help because I have been in your position for years before mom died.

    Anyway, I wish you all the very best dealing with Okaasan in the future.

    Best regards,


  3. Dear Francesca,

    I am SORRY!!! This isn't about you and your comments, it really isn't.
    You just happened to be the latest person to do some straight talking to me on this topic - one of my old students did the same at the weekend, I get it abiout twice a week from someone....and it makes me tired and angry at my boyfriend and his mother.
    I've just been sitting in a restaurant this lunchtime thinking sadly about all of this, the comments on this blog and how I feel about it.
    Please don't go.
    I know we don't know eachother here in this forum - but I never felt angry at you and your comments. And I am so sorry if other people have made you feel that.
    I know you are just trying to help and give advice. Now I just feel worse. Someone somewhere is feeling bad about me and what's ben said here. I am sorry. sorry sorry.
    If he can get her to dementia assessment he can get her to a hospital for a leg check. I can see this. HE has to do this. HE has to decide. If I can't make him, then the day care manager and care center staff will make him.
    I am just tired or this. sitting here cryting and wishing i didn7t have to teach this afternoon. I dont want to do this anymore

  4. I am sure you didn't mean to upset Francesca. I can totally understand how you must feel getting many people telling you constantly what to do. So, an outburst of exasperation is completely normal and I hope Francesca can understand why you wrote your comments. I think your reply clearly shows that you appreciate her contributions to the blog and that you are truly sorry for any hurt she may have felt.
    You are only human and we all snap from time to time. So don't feel bad about what you wrote previously. We all understand that you are going through a lot of pressure and stress. I'm so glad you have a holiday to look forward to. Enjoy! You're doing a marvelous job under very difficult circumstances.

  5. It's interesting that she remembers the mental health assessment as being for her leg. An underlying awareness that she does need to do something perhaps?

    Good luck with it all. It isn't easy, and there is no one single right answer.