Still here.
Last week passed in a flurry of schedules - work and home to do shopping/cooking./Okaasan and cats. Snatched a few hours of Tv in there somewhere.
That's what it feels like when he is away - I make a schedule every day and get thru it.
Had some evening classes - did the shopping, put food on the table. Chatted with Okaasan when needed to. Got her off to day care twice. Cleaned her room etc.
One night I only ate cheese crackers and Marmite...because when I came home and planned to have dinner alone I found Okaasan had fallen asleep and was just sitting at the table at 8 pm eating the food I'd left out for her.
I couldn't face dinner with her. Just too tired. I wanted to unwind.
So I lied ("Oh, had dinner at work") and retreated upstairs to the TV. Found some crackers, some margarine and Marmite. There was no knife upstairs, so I wiped the plastic handle of a cat toy and used THAT to spread the margarine on the crackers and dribble Marmite on top.
Didn't pee in the trash box though :-)
Sat watching TV in a tired daze.
It's not that Okaasan is a bad person. Not at all. She seems all relaxed and friendly with me. But it is the idea of having to sit and prattle away in Japanese at the end of a working day. Sometimes I just can't. It's worse when I think I am going to have dinner alone...and there she is.
Anyway. Friday night Dear Son returned from ski work for a whole weekend at home. Family happy time...well meals round the table with the three of us anyway.
I took Okaasan to the subway station by car on Sunday. She went downtown for 3 hours.
Came home tired but happy and grateful to me.
He and I did all the stuff that we can't: watched endless TV shows we had recorded, went shopping together, got up to date on household expenditure, computer problems, plans etc
And then this morning. He's gone again. Another 12 days.
I came home and cooked dinner, entertained Okaasan with some chat about something. Made beef and potato stew for the next few nights dinner.
Onwards.
Not great blog. Sorry. Just plodding thru it all.
It's a life.
I hope Dear Son appreciates all that you do! As wife of eldest son of eldest son (eldest son the father no longer with us) I always thought care of grandma (88 now) would fall to us (me) but now we're in the UK and grandma is living with middle son so maybe I will never have that role and that is mostly a relief, but part of me wishes I could do what you're doing and help her to enjoy her final years (rather than being holed up with not very nice and sometimes unpleasant younger son). It must be so hard though, especially with Dear Son away. Ganbatte!
ReplyDeleteHi there - thankyou. He DOES appreciate it, I know...he loves the skiing and it is what makes him who he is. So I just get on with it. December to March isn't so long. The rest of the year he is doing a regular job and home every evening. When he is around he does a full share of the shopping, cooking and washing up...so he ain't a bad guy :-) AND - havihg the car this winter, makes my life much easier.
ReplyDeletedon't worry about any one judging you on not wanting to have dinner with okaasan once in a while. i totally get you. sometimes i just need some space, you know?
ReplyDeletedevoted blog reader, illahee.