How'd that work out?
Like that. It can't.
I talked to him about it. Cos that's all fair and good-couple style, isn't it? How I was feeling resentment because I'm the one who always cleans Okaasan's room etc How we should agree to share the cleaning.
But it won't work out.
Because: in summer he works 6 days a week and his day off is usually Saturday. That's the day we do stuff together - either him and me - or as a Happy Threesome Family.
We can only clean Okaasan's mess when she isn't sleeping/watching TV in the middle of it.
In summer he is never here when she is out.
He doesn't work on rainy days. But she doesn't go out on rainy days.
On Saturdays we do stuff with her. So there is never a She's out/He's in time.
Meanwhile me? I'm here on Sundays. I'm here now in Golden Week. I am often here late afternoon, before evening work. I often remind Okaasan to get up and go out.
So I am designated cleaner ;-(
To be fair, he did say he would try to go into her room and clean if he comes back from work and finds her still out. But that'll be patchy. He'll be tired etc.
So. It's back to me for the summer.
He does do a lot for her, and for me. He was in full housewife mode a few weeks ago - shopping, cooking etc Not cleaning. Nobody has cleaned the room for about a month now.
I just feel bowed down by it. Full of negativity. But, have to do it cos otherwise she will run out of any clothes to wear and a TV crew will arrive to do an expose on Foreign Wives Who Abuse The Elderly in Japan.
I don't want to. But I will. Occasionally.
Take out the smelly/rotting food, wash some clothes, remove any important-looking mail she is keeping...
Funny how small things like this can become a source of resentment. I guess that overall I'd just like to be shot of this role - living with and caring for Okaasan - and the room cleaning is my area of frustration venting.
|"I promise to Love, Honor and Clean your mother's room"...a wedding couple pose in a city center park.|
Meanwhile....Golden Week holidays here and this year the cherry blossom arrived right on time for the holidays. Just gorgeous here.
I am spending my holiday doing a bit of gardening, seeing films, eating out, watching TV, playing with cats, checking out the blossoms...and spending as little time as decently possible with Okaasan.
DS is working full time as a bike taxi driver. Regular customers and holiday time. Busy.
Should I take Okaasan out to see the blossoms? Oh...no...I guess I should. We keep telling her that now is the time to go and see, but she just walks to the local shops and has a coffee in MacDonalds. Agh....I know I should...don't want to...aghh..will my guilt win? I'm not a good person at the moment.
GW I am mainly slumping around happily off duty.
Have some more cherry blossoms - let's lighten the mood. Cos they ARE wonderful.
|Our morning walk is thru the graveyard - which is full of beauty.|
|Japanese people really do come to the park with friends or family and sit out under the trees with a picnic.|