Tuesday, 19 June 2018


Okaasan got wheels - or at least has realized she HAS wheels and how to use 'em.
DS showed her recently that you don't have to sit and wait for someone to push the wheelchair...and to our surprise, when we visited the home a few days later - there she was: wheeling!

She was away from the shared lounge. At the far end of the corridor, looking out of a window at the city.
Very happy to see us....and happy to show how she can use her hands to move the chair.

We've visited her twice recently: basically happy both times. Sing song voice and slightly loud, odd laughs and chat. But ok. The 2 nd time she seemed to be sad when we made moves to leave...and didn't want to be left back in the lounge....
But we wheeled her round the local streets and shared snacks and coffee.

The weather has been awful, so our plans for a car trip to have a family lunch got shelved. Too hard to move her from the home to the car and then car to a restaurant in wet/windy/cold weather.

So...it goes......this blog is really boring. But I guess someone somewhere might want to know how Okaasan and we are doing.....it's a record of this family situation anyway....

Sunday, 3 June 2018

Smiles and giggles

That's what I think of now when I think about Okaasan: smiles and giggles.
She flaps her arms around and makes sounds of effort as they do in physical therapy sessions.
She talks cheerily about herself in the 3rd person.
She laughs and smiles.
Makes silly sounds.
Claps her hands.


In between she dozes in a wheelchair near a TV, wakes up and smiles at a familiar gaggle of old ladies around the table, waves at staff...smiles...

It is just amazing. And, thank GOD, good - how she has settled into life in a care home. This feisty, proud lady who fought off a lot of help and wanted to do things HER way.
People say to me - and I know what they mean: "Oh, I don't want to be in an institution, being cared for my strangers. I want to be independent".
But maybe, when you can't be independent, when your needs get real simple...maybe most of us can be surprisingly adaptable to the care situation?

This isn't my mother, of course. Would I feel the same if this was my Dad, my step-mum...my own mum?
If it were one of them flapping their arms and chitchatting like a child. Would I be able to accept that the parent-figure had gone and this elderly with a small world of self was in place?

These rambings are just to fill out some blog space, give you a reason to be here.
Cos nothing else very interesting is happening.
2 weeks ago Okaasan was sick after a lunch, but fine again by evening. Dear Son goes about twice a week. I go less. Much less. She walks with a frame, sometimes. We walk her round the local streets. We share can coffee and snacks in her room.

Dear Son has just finished a month of work with a special customer. The weather is good. We will have time to try and take her out in the car. That is our next plan.

Watch this space...patiently.