Wednesday, 24 February 2010


Okaasan asked to borrow money again today.
Usually Yujiro makes sure she has a few thousand yen in her purse for magazines, snacks, underwear and things because he says if she has big money she starts buying all sorts of stuff we already have or don't need. And she has so many purses and bags that she would leave bits of money all over the place.
(In her Saitama house he found large amounts of money laying around the house amid the trash and clothes.)
I've always been surprised how easily she accepts this: getting a cash handout from her son. But it seems to work. Like the cooking, it seems to be something in life she is accepting about giving up responsibility for.

But recently she has asked me for's a little embarrassing for both of us of course. Like today, she came into the kitchen in between ice skating viewing (her and me) and said:"It's a little embarrassing to ask, but can I borrow some money because I bought something at the bookshop yesterday and didn't have enough money, I promised to go back today with the money".

I only had Y1,000 or Y5,000 in my purse, and she said she'd better have the Y5, I handed it over....and set her right about WHICH station the bookshop was probably near.

Came home tonight to find Yujiro puzzled about where she'd got extra money - because she'd bought 4 chocolate breads and an expensive box of chocolates for ME!

So. She gives me chocolates. And he gives me the Y5,000 back.

I LIKE this arrangement!


  1. So did she forget to buy the book or was she just confused about actually buying a book?

  2. I'm not sure yet because I didn't actually see her to talk to last night or this morning...but maybe she did cos she came home the other night with a Kinokuniya bag in her clutches....but I dont think it was 5,000 yen she owed the shop, because no shop would let even the sweetest old lady take home something if she was THAT short on the dosh!

  3. Kelly introduced me to your blog and I have just spent a good hour or so reading though.And wow!What a read.I love your style of writing and am in awe of how you are coping in such a hard situation(and had my grandmother with dementia living with our family for 12 years so have some awarness of the situation),but then again,what else could you do?Amazing what these damn men make us do..;)

  4. I'm in amazement too.....this would be FAR more stressful though if I was with a guy who did nothing to help manage his mother...he does so much.....he does 80% of the cooking for example...and that is a huge stress relief!