Sunday, 22 August 2010

Fast talking.

Last night Yujiro came to have a serious discussion with me.
I knew it was serious because he took away the clambering kitten and locked it outside the living room.

Then he sat down and told me: I think you should fast for 5 days.

If you don't eat your body will have to use up what it's got, and it will start with the unnecessary thing - the mammoth cyst.

This of course comes from the teachings of Katsuzo Nishi - this wartime Japanese health guru that Okaasan and Yujiro fervently believe in. That if your body is sick you should fast and the body will right itself and find the balance etc etc
Okaasan has done it various times in her life - no food for 5 days etc - and Yujiro too. They both believe this is a good thing.

I can see the ideas behind this. I think fasting is a good idea too. But in certain situations.
I don't think a fast is going to reduce the size of or make this cyst vanish.
It gives the body a break from all the food processing and cleans out the systems.

And I think a fast should be done under a nice relaxed circumstance - preferably at a Five Star resort in Thailand with soothing yoga, tropical flowers and circles of love on the mat flooring.
Not in suburan Sapporo with 20 English lessons to teach between Monday and Saturday. And the account information for August to be input on the computer, two teenage felines and other life stuff.

So I politely said: No thankyou. I respect the idea. But this isn't for me now. I need energy to get through a working week. I enjoy food.
I am sure Okaasan has been hassling behind the scenes on's her solution for all body ills.
They can think of me as a weak-Westerner who is isn't open to alternative Eastern methods and all that stuff. I don't care. I've tried many things in my life that are a bit out there health-wise...and for this, for now...I am going to go with a hospital chock-full of MRI machines and needles.

So. Saturday. A day of classes at my classroom. Telling students I will be off the radar in mid-September.
Came home at 4 pm a little tired and stretched out on the bed for an hour with the cats.
Felt tired in the evening. Yujiro went off in the car to do a mammoth shopping at COSTCO to buy BBQ stuff. I had to feed Okaasan.

It was easy though: a quiche that I'd bought at COSTCO last time, a tomato sauce that I made, rice, soup, salad with things from the garden. Should have been ok. But I had no energy to sit and be friendly with some chat. It was hot and sticky. It was grim 20 minutes of eating and false conversation starts - two weeks in hopsital to escape these evenings at the kitchen table will be SO WONDERFUL!! I really have no idea at all about how to chat to an old Japanese lady who can't remember what she did today and isn't interested at all in what I did. It's hard work.

The quiche. It was ok. Not great. But ok enough. However. Okaasan didn't like it. She picked around at it. Asked me several times what it was. What was in it. Did I make it or buy it? I could tell the quiche wasn't cutting it. She actually said it was "Oishugunai" - "Not delicious".
Finally I got some tofu-cooked-in-soy-sauce leftovers from the fridge - zapped that in the microwave and gave her that instead.
Can't be fucked. Sorry. Ugly word.
But really can't be fucked.
I wanted to shout at her.
But I didn't.
I washed some plates instead and wiped a kitchen surface that didn't need wiping.

Yujiro came home from shopping about 8 pm and wolfed down the remaining quiche and I could retreat to upstairs and leave him happily BBQ prepping.

We'd planned a BBQ here ages ago. But I really dn't feel like doing it. A long day of prepping/hosting/cleaning up. And I can't eat and drink loads. Lots of noise and chat.
Not my scene at the moment.
But Yujiro needs some let out in life, so I told him to go ahead with his friends and have the BBQ.
I am going to slip away to the hairsalon, a friend's house to borrow big, loose clothing...and probably a hotel spa for the afternoon. I need relaxing time....

I talked to a friend last night on the phone. Got a bit weepy. Despite my gung-ho approach to it all - jokes about melons etc - I am scared and sad about this. I have never stayed in hospital. I have never had an operation. I read stuff on the Internet about loss of sex-drive, and increased risk of heart disease.

I wish it wasn't happening to me, so much.


  1. What an insensitive old woman she is. I feel so badly for you. Yes-get away....go relax, pamper yourself....the hell with everyone else.

  2. I really wish it wasn't happening to you either. It is completely understandable that you are scared, but somehow I am sure you will be OK. I know I don't know you, and I am therefore in no position to give you advice, but I just want to say do what you feel is right for you and stay away from stressful situations as much as you can. I continue to send good wishes your way.


  3. To give Okaasan some due....she doesn't probably know that I am under-the-weather at the moment...I told her a week ago to explain why I had large blood bruises on my arms...but I doubt she's remembered...or if she has and Yujiro HAS told her again that I have health problems then for her - complaining about the food and my feelings are two totally different things.
    That generation of Japanese don't do Emotions/Health/Feelings/Sensitivity at all....

    I don't know if she knows about my condition...I thought I overheard Yujiro talking with her in the kitchen last night...and then of course he suddenly wanted to sit down and dole out Health Advice According to I have my suspicions!

    But for her living in the moment as dementia sufferers do...the not delicious food on the dinner plate and anything I might be feeling are worlds apart.

    anyway....having a good relaxing day here (currently sneaked into the classroom and using the computer here). Borrowed big clothes and had a cathartic cry with a friend, had my hair cut. Now going to stretch out on a futon and read a book.

  4. Big Hugs!!

    And I'm going to admit that your post made me giggle. If I had to do a bloody five day fast I would prefer it to be in five star Thailand resort as well. Tell Yujiro that if he funds it I'll go there and make sure we do it - presuming of course that 'fast' means 'with wine'. I think it does??

    Other than that giggle though what a funk nightmare. I still can't believe you have to wait so long. I had to wait three days for a D&C miscarriage operation, and I know these are about as unrelated as you could get but it is still the 'I have this thing inside me and I WANT IT OUT NOW' kind of thing.

    I wish I was closer so I could finally meet you in person and somehow make any of this a little bit easier. God knows what I would do. I could lend you some big clothes but.

    Big hugs from Oita.


  5. Thankyou GaijinWife!

    Can we get T-shirts made up that say: "I read GaijinWife-Do You?"