At the risk of coming over all philosophical or religious....I'm having a new perspective on life.
I've realized that I've mellowed out on what is important to get stressed/angry/upset about. And what to just let wash over me.
Guess the past 2 years has done that to me.
Now I have small niggles on my mind - but they are just that. Small.
I am REALLY appreciating getting up, having breakfast, playing wordgames on the computer, cats, going to work, work, exercising at the gym, coming home, dinner, TV entertainment, bed.
I could do years and years of this quite happily!
# Yes, the builders STILL haven't come to check out the bump in the living room ceiling.
# Yes, I've just booked a table at a great restaurant for Xmas Night. And 4 hours later Yujiro got a work booking way out of town at Niseko ski resort and so he won't be able to come with me.
# Yes, the stray monster cat now comes INTO the entrance hall and stops our cats entering their own home.
# Yes, my best friend here in Sapporo might get a job back in the UK, and I'll miss her. Booo Hooo.
# Yes, I've just lost two students with fairly believable excuses. But with a small business every student counts.
# Yes, the ski season is a-coming and I'll have nights and nights alone with Okaasan.
# Yes, I can't find the timer-thingy for the classroom Christmas lights.
# Yes, I have to go back to hospital in January and have that doctor guy shove his fingers inside me with no care at all.
# Yes, it looks unlikely that Yujiro will come with me on my 50th Birthday holiday next year...because of who-will-look-after-Okaasan stuff, we haven't had her assessed as needing public help because the medical check up was surface only and she blithely lied about her abilities.
ALL of that is swirling around.
But. Basically. I can let it all happen and not feel crazy.
* My boxes hopefully left England yesterday aboard a Korean-registered freighter and are due to arrive in Tokyo port January 7th. Here's hoping North Korea and South Korea aren't slugging it out by then and the North Koreans kidnap my teddybears and photo albums.
Last night Yujiro had a ski instructors' party out at his ski school near Otaru, and just as I was considering raw squid and boring conversation with Okaasan I got saved by a friend's invite to a great Italian restaurant.
Squid and Okaasan vs. Pizza/Wine/Olives and Friends?
So, I left the squid, tofu, soup, rice etc out on the kitchen table for Okaasan and - OMG - went OUT for a Friday night.
It felt SO good to be able to take the subway and just walk to the restaurant, like normal life. My knee/thigh muscles are getting stronger and I can do it now. Within reason and still wearing a muscle support band. But as I ambled thru the evening rain I felt pretty content.
Next week is two anniversaries.
The kittens will be 1 year old. I guess a candle on their canned food is possible?
Our life with Okaasan - it'll be the TWO years anniversary.
Two years since Yujiro said - "I'm worried about my mum in Saitama, can we bring her here to Sapporo to live?" And I like a fool said "Yes".