That old: older person advising younger person stuff again.
What to do? I am actually asking you lot for advice on this one.
We had family lunch - a cold, grey winter day...all of us in our pajamas....eating a feast of leftovers. All went well.
Afterwards I stood up to blanch a kilogram of green beans I'd bought at Costco - blanch and bung them in the freezer in bags for later. You know the idea.
I washed them, grabbed a handful, lined their ends up on the chopping board and chopped off the points. Reversed them, lined 'em up and chopped.
2 minutes passed...I could feel Okaasan watching this from the table.
Finally she jumped up and came over tutting..."No! In Japan we do it like this, you don't use a knife because you cut off too much and waste it, use your fingers, like this...and this...!"
LUCKILY Yujiro had foreseen this acoming and gently eased her back with some phrase or other...and she went back to sitting behind me...watching while I used the knife and wasted - OH NO...centimeters and centimeters of bean. Kids are starving in North Korea and I am wasting a total of 8 cm of bean ends.
Sadly Yujiro then compounded the situation by commenting on the way I poured the boiling bean water down the sink directly...and then Okaasan jumped back in 5 minutes later by telling me that it is better to leave the lunch dishes air drying instead of using a cloth.
Oh my GOD! What IS it with these people?????
I'm almost 50 years old. This is MY home, MY kitchen...I will actually do these things the way I LIKE!
Yujiro is ok. I can just tell him - and often do - to FUCK OFF.
But I can't do that with Okaasan.
I'd LOVE to turn round and say: look - your room is a smelly mess with rotting food and soiled underpants all over it and this week I've wiped your shit off the toilet so lay off the helpful advice will you???? But I can't.
What does anyone suggest?
Some nice gentle, but firm way of saying: Ahh, thankyou, but actually you way and my way may be different. Neither is wrong or right. It's just different thankyou.
She is doing what comes naturally to her, and older woman in Japan with a younger family member - dishing out the helpful advice so they learn.
But to me it just is plain strange. If I ask for advice that is clearly different - but I'm an adult, not a child. Telling an adult how to top and tail beans is beyond belief.
Yujiro was no help at all. I asked him what I should say. His advice? "Don't do stuff in front of her like that!"
Fat lot of help that is.
Any other Oyomesans out there in blog-land got any advice? SEE! I DO ask for advice sometimes!!