I really need lessons in Negotiating a Tricky Topic.
Instead of calmly sitting Dear Son down and discussing about Okaasan and daycare assessment etc...
what did I do?
Got all riled up and stroppy after a night of bad sleep. and almost shouted at Dear Son on his lazy day off in front of the TV: get off your ass and call up the latest hula dance organiser! We MUST get Okaasan set up with something to do! I'm not going to have her here all winter - while you are off skiing - and I'm going to be her sole source of entertainment for weeks and weeks. I know you don't want to get her assessed, because it'll be a fight etc...but...but...we MUST get her into something!!
And then I stormed out and went to work.
Not the way to do it.
Later I apologised for the outburst. But said we will TALK about this, won't we....
And he failed to get hold of the hula dance person, and I tried the next day...but I'm busy...so it'll have to be next week that I take Okaasan to try the oldies class...
and so the whole thing goes on and on.
Must. Do. This. Talk.
Okaasan is wandering on thru her days ok - alternatively surprising us and doing-things-as-normal.
She met my friend and her baby two days running in a local street - and amazed me by actually remembering those meetings and even what they had talked about. That really is surprising. She doesn't usually remember anything she did during the day...but she remembered those encounters and the chat topic.
Yujiro spent a rainy morning at home, and left for work late.
"I'm off to work" he told Okaasan.
"Oh? What work is that?" she asked.
She knows exactly what he does. Bike taxi driver. We often sit at dinner and talk about his day and his customers. Okaasan sometimes comes and says "Hello" to Yujiro if she sees he and his taxi downtown.
But..."what work?" - where the hell did THAT question come from?
Dementia, all very strange - clarity and fog. Often on the same day.