Got to Friday.
Seems like a loooong week. I'm hanging in there.
Okaasan hasn't been any trouble, no aggression, no terrible crazies.
She went walking a few days (hat and gloves...but no coat, just cardigan), she even washed a few dishes, she didn't try cooking and she bored me stupid with dinner time chat about movie star homes, flower arranging and climbing Ayres Rock in Australia.
Those subjects in themselves are not boring - well flower arranging is a pretty anal topic - but if you take each story and repeat it endlessly, in 1 to 2 minute loops.
I did escape one night. Left food for her, and after an evening class I went to my fave curry restaurant and had beer, seafood and spinach curry and a large plate of nan bread drowning in melted cheese. Read the newspaper, sipped beer. Relaxed.
Trouble was - all of that meant I didn't sleep so well, so then lack-of-sleep was added into the end of week mix.
She asked about Dear Son a few times, but is never too bothered to hear he is working and will come home at the weekend. She feels relaxed with her Oyomesan.
The cooking has been okay. Just. Thankgoodness for supermarket pre-cooked stuff and the freezer. And delivery lunches.
But, this week I heard a sad story from a student - that just puts all my stuff into perspective.
My student's sister-in-law killed herself a week ago today. Took lots of pills and jumped from her apartment roof. A year ago she tried and failed and has been seeing doctors and taking meds ever since.
And about 10 years ago.....her brother killed himself too.
Left behind are a 16 year old daughter, about to do lots of end of year tests at school, and her husband with a oneman business to run.
I remember last Friday - I was busy after the trips - classes and prood reading, thinking about Okaasan and dinner - a bit hassled in life.
But somewhere here in Sapporo this poor woman was beyond that. Far beyond.
Suicide is so awful for the families. So many people seem to be determined to kill themselves, whatever the situation of their lives. If they failed once, they will almost certainly try again.
And this family I heard about this week: what about the next generation? The 16 year old has lost her mother and uncle to suicide. How will she grow up....?
As I say, it puts things into perspective.
And so I plod on.