Monday, 8 July 2013

Anger, anger...

NOT a good day for Okaasan.
Brilliant day for us.

I am sure we will pay for it somehow.

She sat ready all morning to escape our BBQ party. We'd arranged for a lunchbox delivery for Okaasan, so that we didn't have to do her lunch prepping just as guests were arriving for the BBQ. Seemed liked a good idea...we kept telling her, so she  wouldn't go out.
Also kept telling her that she didn't NEED to go out, that she could just sit and have her normal day with the TV etc...tried.

But the delivery didn't arrive at 12 o'clock.
Instead the temperature rose, the noise in the garden rose...and Okaasan's hunger and tension matched it all. I started giving her food from the BBQ on little plates....and she got stressier and stressier.
Finally at 12.45 pm she decided to evacuate. Pretty unhappy with all of us. Pretty rude to me when I checked to make sure she had money for outside food purchase.

The fact is, with our house layout - Okaasan could just stay in her rooms and use the toilet without hardly seing the BBQ. But she could hear people arriving and hear the alcohol-juiced noise.

At 1.20 pm the delivery lady arrived with the lunchbox. We complained a bit.
"Oh! The lady we deliver to said later was ok, she said she was always home and not doing anything and that anytime was ok, 1 pm or anytime!".

agghhh.......THAT'S why the lunchbox delivery has often been late recently!
Okaasan herself had told the delivery people that "anytime is ok".
But it isn't. Really isn't. She doesn't eat breakfast and usually has lunch anytime after 11 am.....
Okaasan unknowingly made her own life harder by saying her usual little spiel of food-isn't-important-to-me-anytime-I-once-didn't-eat for-a-year-and-look-at-me-I'm-healthy...

So, standing in our garden with a BBQ party in full blast around us we set the nice delivery lady straight and asked her in future to follow instructions by the customer who pays: Dear Son, and not the person who eats....


Not sure how many people came - awesome BBQ though. A good mix of people, food and drink - and various friends meeting eachother for the first time - oh YOU are that person on Facebook comments! etc - and the crazy noisy man two streets away came and shouted at us, and the neighborhood kids came to hang...and the sun blazed...and the whole upper body and head heat rash I've had since Friday blazed too....

About 2.30 pm Okaasan came home, surprisingly soon. Seemed more settled.
She walked thru the party to the front door, saying "Hello" to people. Headed for the steps.

And fell. Staggered and fell into the flower bed.
Huge gasp from our guests and the strongest guy rushed forward to pick her up...bruises and little cuts only...maybe...LUCKILY about 20 cm away from the stone garden ornament carved by my Dad.
Wouldn't that be darkly ironic, if my late father's stone bird was instrumental in seriously injuring my partner's mum???

So, I got her inside and settled in her room with the fan, a cool towel and the TV....


6.45 pm I start prepping Okaasan's dinner (actually replating the uneaten lunch box).Okaasan saying "Yes" to wanting dinner.
Then"No", then "Yes".
Then angry about the guests still being outside...worried about the neighbors, worried about the noise, worried, angry, DON'T want dinner....angry...angry....

We get rid of the guests by 8 pm...and finally Okaasan comes to the table to eat food in silence.

And we have a garden and house full of BBQ stuff to clean.....

Next year? What do with her?
One year I bought her a ticket to go to a jazz concert while we were having a party, but that kind of plan also means she would be fussing to leave the house amid a kitchen full of BBQ prepping AND she might need help getting to the place.

Obviously make sure her lunch is ready at 12.
But you can't send BBQ guests home much earlier than 8 pm.
We have one big BBQ party a year and Okaasan just has to lump it...but...but...she hates the whole thing.

I'm sure there will be repercussions of her anger this week. Hopefully just emotional angst from the anger and nothing seriously physical from the fall.

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