Monday, 7 November 2016

Where IS the toilet?

Okaasan came home yesterday evening all happy from the hair salon.
New cut and perm. Looked good.
Dear Son had taken her to the salon thru an amazing November record-breaking 23cm of snow and then picked her up two hours later and brought her home.
I welcomed them in the hallway and went with Okaasan into her room - hanging up her coat, switching on the TV etc.

"I want to go to the toilet. Where is the toilet?" came the voice behind me.
She looked around the room and the kitchen beyond. The living space she has been in every day for the past 8 years...and had no idea where the toilet might have flitted to at the moment.

Oh god. It was amazing. 

I showed her. Go thru this door into the kitchen, then left into the hallway and that door in front of you is - as it has been for 8 years - the toilet.

Amazing. These moments of dementia in action just blow my mind.

Maybe. Just maybe she was confused about the place because I was talking about her hair cut and how nice it was. maybe she thought this was still the hair salon and didn't know where the toilet was.

But all around her was her own room. Her own clothes and Tv etc.

It was pretty amazing. And scary.

Time for signs to the toilet???

Recently she has soiled her clothes/pajamas more. We always assume it is because she can't stand up quick enough to reach the toilet. But maybe it is worse. maybe she stands and looks at the two doors in her room - and doesn't know where the toilet is?

A winter of Okaasaning - which I now make as a new verb - it has begun.


  1. wow, that is scary. Must have been bizarre watching it unfold. I wonder if that is partially the reason for your increased washing load. Poor okaasan. Realizing she needs to go but not knowing where it is :( Good luck for the winter and the crazy amount of snow you have up there already. I foresee many trips to the coin laundry in your future. <3

    1. It was. Just incredible. She looked around the room and didn't know....MY biggest nightmare is that the 8 year old washing machine will die and we'll need a new one!

  2. Oh dear! I do love the word Okaasaning though - so much more expressive than mothering !!

    1. Okaasaning. A new word. I confess that Dear Son and I often preview the day by saying things like: "Ok, I'll do Okaasan at lunch, you do Okaasan at dinner...". We "do" Okaasan....meaning feed her/arrange bathtime/get her ready to go out etc....

  3. Maybe you should consider changing her underwear for maternity incontinence panties. They are thin, and probably she would not notice the change.

    Something like this:


    1. Hi Francesca! Yes - that is an idea..although I did try this a year or two ago and she didn't use them.I could try slipping a few in among her regular pants...the problem also is that she often just wears pajamas all day...but interesting idea! Would save my washing machine!