Friday, 23 June 2017

Holding pattern...

This family drama is in holding pattern - circling the airport, peering out the windows...wondering when we'll get permission to land...or whether we'll be redirected to another airport.

Okaasan in the mental health hospital, taking drugs to calm her down.
Dear Son visiting a few days a week.
Me staying away enjoying my life.

Dear Son thinking that he is going to wait and see what happens with her brain - and whether he can waltz into the hospital one day (or if she comes home) and give her papers to sign which will mean her home for 40 years will be sold.

He seems to think that might be an option...still.

Thankyou for advice about becoming legal guardian - two readers who know me in real life have contacted me to offer advice. Dear Son has done his research and talked to the real estate agent. There apparently isn't a big rush on the house sale because the buyer is a developer, not an individual. 
Delay on the papers doesn't mean a family is homeless, just that the development company can't start house demolition and site clearing as quickly as they hoped. Becoming a legal guardian would take a month or two - so DS is going to wait.

Wait and see: will Okaasan calm down enough to be able to cope with this topic and accept and sign?

This week she was calmer on his visit. Still angry about the nurses waking her up too early, but chatted with her son about things in a reasonable way. He came home a little relieved. We continue our Life Without Okaasan - eating random food we like, even planning a small BBQ with friends...alternatively happy in our life, and guiltily remembering Okaasan's enjoyment in things.

Wait and See.


  1. My husband had to become legal guardian of his mother last year due to several circumstances. They say it takes a few months but unreality we got the permission in 5 days and then there was a 2 week waiting period. It is easier than you think if the person has dementia and the judge that hears the case is reasonable. I suggest trying it. It is difficult emotionally but is better in the long run.

    1. I agree with you...I'd at least start the process, in case it is needed now or later...but he is taking a different approach....and I have probably done as much wifely nudging on the topic as I can!!!! He has the house papers now and will take them every time he visits her...hoping to catch her at a good moment. I've SAID to him that this whole topic is very likely to give her more stress - and he shouldn't start the topic without at least telling the

    2. Good luck! With my MIL it took years for me to convince my husband something needed to be done. It is very stressful for everyone involved. Just know that many others have gone through this.