Friday, 28 July 2017

And another one down...

Shouldn't blog while depressed.
It'll make ordinary moans seem worse and crisis level.
But I can't help it. Need to vent.

Another member of the family has fallen at home...while I was upstairs...and I REALLY REALLY promise I have nothing to do with it.

Stupid fucker of a boyfriend. He got drunk and fell late at night in the bathroom. Hit his head on something and gashed his eyebrow area. Deep, long cut. Blood spatter everywhere. Bathroom walls and floor. Towels, T shirt, bed linen. The works. Nasty, stinky iron-smelling blood that dried in angry dark blotches everywhere.

Refused hospital aid that night. Of course. Next morning went and had 5 stitches to his face. Very lucky it wasn't his eye 4 cm away.

Stupid stupid man.

I am angry with him. Disgust and anger. Tired and SO over this man and his problems. His mother, the dementia, the hospitals - the whole thing.

I am having holiday in UK in September. 7 weeks away. It can't come soon enough.

I hate his over drinking. It's the culture of Japan - drink till you are stupid. It's the culture of Britain too. Smart people should know that and not let it control them. I don't need this in my life and I am angry that he doesn't see how stupid it makes him.

Four of us went for a drink in the city beer festival Wednesday night. A friend and his new wife, me and Stupid Fucker. Met about 5.30/6 pm. Drank and ate until just after 8 pm. All of us had work the next day. I had an 8 am narration job for the university. I had one drink and then stopped so my brain and voice was ok for people who are paying me to be in control.

God knows how much Stupid Fucker drank. 4 large glasses? Maybe. But it was with food. It wasn't a binge night out. Just a few hours in the city park, at an annual event, with friends.

He and I went home. He was staggering and tripping. The usual. Got home. Prepared for bed. I dealt with the cat and yet another not-dead-yet-mouse....then Bed. He got up to to the toilet downstairs...and as I closed my eyes..glad we'd got home early enough to ensure a chance of sleep...

Crash. Crash. Bang.

I lay there. Wondered. Stupid drink had fallen against the kitchen door? the bathroom sink? Where was the noise from? I waited. 
And 3 minutes later he came upstairs with a towel round his head. Blood everywhere.


I hate him at the moment.

And just to pile on the moans:

I am enduring endless hospital visits and medicines etc because my left foot has some awful fungal condition. The skin is being eaten away and it is and open mass of fragile skin layers. I've changed hospitals and doctors, I'm on my third course of treatment. I can only wear one pair of shoes. I want to go kayaking, but maybe I can't because of getting the foot wet and dirty.

So, there is that.

And Okaasan?

oh yes. This blog is meant to be about her.


Later today we will go to the hospital and see how her physical therapy is coming along. Then we will go to a different hospital and meet the social worker....because the next stage is that Okaasan will transfer to this physical therapy for old people hospital? Two weeks there maybe to get stronger....and then come home to her super happy family.

That's us.
Stupid Fucker and Angry Zombie Foot.

And a nightly parade of dieing mice.

And how is YOUR summer???

This is mine.


  1. Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. I think anyone would be depressed with this amount of stress so it's only normal that you start to crack. I hope your 7 weeks away really rejuvenate you. I have been away from your blog for about a year and I recently came back to catch up. I was saddened at what has been happening with Okaasan, and the state of the medical system in Japan. I think you have been doing a stellar job, and it seemed like you had to do it on your own a lot. I wondered how he would cope if you weren't there to look after his mum. Anyway just sending big hugs from Australia. xxx

    1. Hey! Welcome back - to be honest you didn't miss much in the last year...often it was weeks of not much to blog about. And then this year it's ALL happened - the discovery that useless older sibling had died...then the house clearing....and then Okaasan's fall and subsequent problems....the past 6 months has been everything. So - welcome back to where we all have health problems, but maybe Okaasan in her Happy Smiley state is the best off of all of us.

  2. I sympathize with you. I have experience with a man who drinks too much. I finally realized there was nothing I could do and I couldn't take it any more. The mice would totally put me over the edge. I hope this course of foot treatment takes care of the problem. You really have too much going on right now! It's good that you have the upcoming holiday to look forward to!

    1. It's ridiculous isn't it! I like to drink alcohol,...I enjoy getting happy and a bit silly...but I have learned not to over load my body. About 15 years ago I was very very drunk at a friend's party and threw up in their bathroom with his wife helping was so embarrassing. So I learned. I doubt my stupid man CAN learn. He actually made a joke about it all this morning - and I told him: NOT funny. What you've done isn't funny. OIt's stupid and I am angry with you......the mice.....I'm one nervous nellie...I have visions of them running up my leg, which is nuts. I stand by with a dustpan and brush to sweep up the deceased little body....

  3. Wow, so much stress for you both, with mice and head injuries and work responsibilities, Okaasan in the hospital. Thinking of you, Nancy

  4. Adding one of my infrequent comments to say that I, too, am sorry to hear how difficult things are right now. I agree with what Kelly said above, you have been under tremendous stress recently and this just piled it on. I hope DS had a raging hangover! :-) My husband also drinks too much on occasion and it has caused problems for us. In our situation, certain friends and situations are triggers for him; in yours, there is the cultural aspect, which is difficult to get past. I made it clear to him that I won't let our daughter grow up in the environment he creates when he's drunk and the situation has improved (he was never violent). Focus as much as you can on your upcoming holiday and know that your readers want nothing but the best for you! - Karen

  5. Hugs! So much going on, I hope your foot gets better soon and your vacation is excellent.

  6. Bloody hell, if it doesn't rain it damn well pours!! Doesn't sound like a good patch at the moment! Although I read your latest pst and I'm glad Okaasan is doing well and the drugs are working. I hope you can have some kind of peace over the next few weeks before she comes home and needs more help. I remember falling and cutting my face open whilst pissed on home-made umeshu - was mortifying though. Haven't touched the stuff since. The umeshu that is! Hope your foot gets better very very soon.