Friday, 30 November 2018

A year of care home

It's been a whole year: Okaasan living in the care home.
Facebook kindly reminded me, along with pictures of snow and Dear Son birthday parties of the past years, that in November 2017 Okaasan started her new life.
As did we.
And the cats finally claimed the room with the oh-so-soft carpet and heater.

It took her over two months to settle into life there. But she has done. And that is still surprising because she is/was such an independent person. But now she chats with other old ladies and the staff, enjoys the entertainments they have in the lounge, takes her meds and walks around with a stroller (not strongly, but walking).

Last weekend we took her by car to the department store and wheeled her around the Christmas displays and sat in the food court to eat snacks and coffee.
She was mainly silent and smiley. But once, when I talked about the herb used to make the traditional snacks - she became very animated and told me clearly about the little white flowers on the herb.
It is a reminder that talking doesn't indicate intelligence or understanding. She may be quiet most of the time, while we prattle on - but she IS understanding. I read the blog of a woman in the UK who has dementia and she writes eloquently about the days when she can form the words in her brain, but can't speak them.
Okaasan too.

So. Snow is falling and ski season is about to start.
Dear Son will head off for his first 10 days of work this weekend. I wil head into the month of parties and special classes...and skiing....and hopefully more tour guide work.
Okaasan visiting duties fall to me. Once a week for sure...but since my very sick friend is still hanging on in alive in a hospital bed my attention is divided. She has been sick since January, with a disease where the life expectancy is 7 to 10 months. I never thought she would survive the summer...


  1. I wish your friend peace. And you, too. <3

    1. Thankyou. She is at peace now I think - no pain, and just in in day out with tubes.....I don't know if she can hear us or feel our touch. But a small groups of friends continue to go to the hospital and visit.