The pink flowers are popping out all over and warm weather is coming (in fits and starts).
And Okaasan is lying in a bed with tubes into and out of her body, deeply sleeping. Day after day.
I just checked back on this blog and found that she went into this home/hospital in December 2021, so that's over 3 years ago. It's hard to remember, because of all the COVID restrictions, when we couldn't even go and visit her. But over 3 years now.
This week we had a good chat with one of the nurses about Okaasan. We could do anytime - the staff are friendly et. But there isn't a lot to be said about a sleeping human in bed with tubes. The doctor phones if there is anything major to be reported.
Anyway, this nurse was very approachable and responded to our questions well: she said that Okaasan is "sleeping" pretty much 24/7, but reacts a little if the staff are moving her body/the tubes - react as in face grimaces or eye lid flickering. She showed us how talking very loudly right in Okaasan's ear, or cleaning around her eyes with a cotton pad gets a slight facial change. And that it's been like that for almost a year now.
The "improvement" is that Okaasan isn't on the blood pressure-control drip now. Just the sugar-drip feed. Just one bag of something attached to the stand by her bed.
And so.
Dear Son was feeling it all a bit this week. As we sat there he talked about how there is no change, how he made the choices for his mother to be like this at the end of her life, and how it will be if and when WE get to be like this.
Oh god! I HOPE neither of us is like this. I hope I wake up one morning and he is just dead in bed next to me. Or the other way around. Of course, a shock for the living person. But WAY better than this looooonnnggg process. I don't think Japan will ever move to a more liberal way of death - allowing any element of personal choice. It just isn't part of this culture.
So, if I am going to die in Japan. If I am going to be here when Dear Son dies - then this "where do you want the tubes" process is very likely. A student's father died last year - 3 days after being admitted to hospital for blood problems. She visited him and sat chatting in the day room. He died in the hospital bed the next morning. So quick. So easy.
Sorry! So easy on this blog to go down these thought roads. It's a spring day and life is good. Okaasan is ok. We are ok. The cat is ok. 2025 is rolling on...
