On....and on...

 Visited twice this week.

The nurse said the amount of supplied oxygen has been reduced, but the meds to keep the blood pressure up haven't been reduced yet.

2nd week no bath time.

We felt Okaasan's breathing was slightly easier this time. More regular. Lots of eye opening. We stayed for 30 mins, playing bossa nova versions of classic movie theme songs on the smart phone.

Just before we left Okaasan seemed to scrunch up her eyes and whole face, turning bright red in the process - and breath very hard for a short time.

Then back to normal.

Thankyou for your well wishing comments. Yes, it feels we are entering a different stage of all of this now. ASK the hospital to reduce the blood pressure meds? I don't think that happens here in Japan. If this was MY mum, I'd be having that conversation (and be blowed if the doc thought I'm a heartless minx), but it isn't something I can push him into. We asked for non-resuscitation in the event of heart failure, but I guess medication to prolong life is common in Japan.

And so, Okaasan's life goes on. And on.

No change.

Not really.

Fever comes and goes. Blood pressure falls, unless medicine is administered.

Okaasan is kind of sleeping, but sometime breathing is hard. Her eyes open for a while. And then close again.

Oh god...we have a no- resuscitation request, but the Japanese health system still forces life...by using the drugs to keep the heart working. It really is terrible. Okaasan wouldn't want this, at all.

So. Day by day. 

I was thinking yesterday I should get out one of her favorite blouses from the closet and iron it. So that she can "wear" that for her final journey.

Onwards.

Came a phone call...

 A different stage begins?

During a Zoom lesson the other evening, the house phone rang, the mobile phones rang...

Okaasan's hospital ringing with a change in status report.

She'd had a high fever earlier in the day. They'd administered medicine. Now her blood pressure was very low. Not sure whether it was the medicine...or "something else".

Reconfirming the "no-resuscitation" status we'd agreed on when she entered this hospital.

She'd been moved to a room nearer the nurse station. It could be the beginning of the end. We'll call you if there are any changes overnight.

There weren't any calls. But we went in the next day.

Something WAS different. Her fever was still fairly high and her breathing was more labored, kind of ragged. Sometimes tougher. But she was still on oxygen only from the little nose tube outlets, not a full mask.

We stayed a while. Played film music on the smartphone, hand massage.

Nurses came and went. Everyone professional and friendly.

And so. We come away. Keep our mobile phones more to hand. I've told friends I have plans with in the coming days that I may have to cancel suddenly. We'll see.

I so hope Okaasan finally gets escape from this.

A little change?

When  somebody has basically been in the same condition month in, month out for years...a tiny change is something to wonder about.

The last two weeks Okaasan has opened her eyes. Repeatedly, sometimes 6-7 times a minute.

She is still in the drugged sleep, breathing deeply.

But her eyes open, her eye balls are generally high and kind of roll to the left or right, and then she closes the lids again.

Of course, we don't believe she is seeing or choosing to open her eyes. It's an involuntary action. But evidence of some brain activity?

The nurses don't appear to think it's significant. They came and gave Okaasan big nasal and mouth suction (ohhh...that's hard to watch, but obviously gives relief). And then she went back to the eye opening.

We wonder if it's a sign of the body's last push in life? I heard recently about a family member who came out of inertia before death to announce "It's time to go".

Don't know.

Autumn here now. Another year closing down. We used to go look at autumn colors in the park with Okaasan. Now we look from the hospital window.

The cat is slowly responding to heart and kidney treatment. My injured ankle (fell out of the RV!!) is repairing as the ligaments recover. The new building over the road is done and we have to close the curtains a lot to preserve privacy.

Onwards...