2026....still here

 

Here's a nice Japanese New Year flower display.

Thanks to Okaasan's Hospital, which always has good flowers in the entrance hall - between the outer doors and the hand sanitizer spray and temperature check machine.

So. Yep. We are here. She is there. Another year.

The hospital was closed to visitors over the New Year holidays, and when we tried to visit on January 5 we found the door to the room closed.

Nurses told us that one of the stitches for the shoulder feeding tube had come loose, and the doctor was doing a minor procedure to make it ok. They invited us to wait a bit, but we decided to go back a day or two later.

Okaasan seems good. Her skin condition is excellent. She opens and rolls the eyes a bit. A little mouth moving. No response if we squeeze her hands. No fever.

"Life" as usual. 

We've just had a relaxed winter break - eating and drinking, watching Tv...a bit of skiing. The cat now needs 3 fluid shots a week for his failing kidneys. We tried to do it ourselves, but the whole thing  got far too stressy. So we've gone back to taking him into the vets 3 times a week. Thank god for am easy work schedule.

Onwards into 2026. A few changes a-coming. But we'll see...

And on and ON!

 Yup.

Okaasan is back. Or, appears to be.

Still in the room near the nurse station, but back on the once a week bath schedule. And then oxygen supply is down to 1 lt level.

Yesterday we went. She seemed ok. However she did have a few moments of extreme something - mouth opening and wincing/body clenching that didn't look so content.

One of the nose tubes had got into a strange angle and we asked a nurse to correct it. 

We sat. Hand held. Chatted. Came home.

I realised this week in one of my adult English classes, that 4 of us had parents/in laws who are over 90 years old. Some of them in care homes/hospitals, and others who are still in the family home and still walking/talking/eating etc. We all know what we should be doing for a long and healthy life - but the fact is: it's random. Probably down to our DNA.

Okaasan led a healthy eating and active life - the dance, the socialising, using her brain power. But still, by her late 70s dementia was setting in. And by her late 80s she needed a lot of care from others.

Dear Son turned 67 this week. We celebrated with beer and pizza.

I hope to get a few more healthy years out of him :-)

Phoenix like...

 Okaasan bounced back!

Supplementary oxygen is down to 1 lt, blood pressure meds are reduced again...she was probably well enough to be moved to the bathroom for her first bath in 3 weeks.

Amazing.

She looked good. Skin tone and condition. Just little nose tubes for the oxygen, rather than a mask. Regular breathing, combined with the involuntary eye opening that started last month.

Really...that's surprising. Two weeks ago we kind of thought it was the end.

A couple of readers have asked me about the supplementary feeding in Japan - I don't know exactly, but it appears that if the family chose nasal or arm tube feeding, that's only good for a few weeks. One of my students - she and her sisters chose "only arm drip" feeding for their mother and the doctor told them life expectancy was 3 weeks, at most.

Three? years ago we chose shoulder-entry point only feeding (rather than stomach, which we'd heard involved a small operation) - so that's what Okaasan is on. And once chosen,  you can't ask it to be stopped.

Non-resuscitation request means "no" to heart pumping, in the event of heart failure. It doesn't mean "no" to meds that keep the heart active.

I think. 

There is an NPO that offers guidance and a document to fill in to lay out End of Life treatment requests/preferences. I think I even GOT the initial documents a few years back. I should look into it all again. A major translation would be needed. Maybe I should pay for that and offer the results as an aide for other English-speaking residents in Japan?

Things to think about...when I'm not brain-dead in front of a Netflix drama, or holding down the cat for his SubQ shots to stave off kidney failure. Life gets in the way of death planning...

So. Onwards....not sure if Okaasan will stay in the room near the nurse station, where they closely monitor patients. Or be moved back to a regular room.

But. Really. Amazing.

On....and on...

 Visited twice this week.

The nurse said the amount of supplied oxygen has been reduced, but the meds to keep the blood pressure up haven't been reduced yet.

2nd week no bath time.

We felt Okaasan's breathing was slightly easier this time. More regular. Lots of eye opening. We stayed for 30 mins, playing bossa nova versions of classic movie theme songs on the smart phone.

Just before we left Okaasan seemed to scrunch up her eyes and whole face, turning bright red in the process - and breath very hard for a short time.

Then back to normal.

Thankyou for your well wishing comments. Yes, it feels we are entering a different stage of all of this now. ASK the hospital to reduce the blood pressure meds? I don't think that happens here in Japan. If this was MY mum, I'd be having that conversation (and be blowed if the doc thought I'm a heartless minx), but it isn't something I can push him into. We asked for non-resuscitation in the event of heart failure, but I guess medication to prolong life is common in Japan.

And so, Okaasan's life goes on. And on.