Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Hula Paranoia

Okaasan and Hula - we've finally got to the bottom of the mystery.
She doesn't want to go because....she thinks the hula group didn't invite her to that Hula Dance Festival in the park a few weeks ago.
It's Paranoia Central.

Just shows you. When the outside appearence of Okaasan's life looks fine - planning and going successfully to the jazz concert and even managing to heat up tofu and rice for herself for dinner - the inside reality is different.

She didn't go to hula again yesterday. I assumed that maybe she was tired from the jazz concert.
But at dinner (I was out working) Yujiro finally go to the bottom of why Okaasan has negative feelings about her hula class now.

That hula dance festivalin Odori Park last month - the teacher told Okaasan about it. The classmate told Yujiro about it. They both thought it might be a bit physically demanding for Okaasan because the group would have to stand around in the park for about 3 hours with just two short performances on stage.
At first Okaasan said she would take part. Then she had second thoughts and said she wouldn't because it might be hot and tiring etc. Hula teacher/classmate and Yujiro were secretly a little relieved.

And THEN of course I put my foot in it and decided to take Okaasan to the festival to watch her group and others perform.
Yujiro was against it - he feared she would wonder why she wasn't taking part herself ....and now weeks later we find out he was right.

That day Okaasan seemed happy. She wanted to go with me. She enjoyed herself in the park. She chatted to her classmates and went with them for ice cream after the festival etc. She went to one more class after that.
And then somehow the whole negative thing kicked in and she decided that they had excluded her and not told her/invited her to the festival etc etc. Hence she used the word "bully" about the group etc.

So now she doesn't want to go.
It is sad and it shows how there is an underlying suspicion to her attitude to outsiders and what people think of her. Her memory has remembered the dance festival - but not her own decision about attending it. So she has come away from the experience with only a negative feeling: that the group didn't want her there and didn't invite her and danced without her.
Yujiro WAS right. We should have just stayed silent on the whole topic and left her that day sitting at home quietly as usual in front of the TV. Me taking her to the park and her watching other people dance just left her confused as to why SHE wasn't dancing.

So. Oyomesan buggered THAT one up then.


  1. what can you do but? you had her best interests at heart. Bugger it didn't turn out but 'hopefully' the negative won't last for long either? Fingers crossed anyway, she seemed to really enjoy the hula.

  2. Yes, at least I know that - that I thought I was doing a good thing.
    But Yujiro had an idea that it would end up this way and his idea was that we didn't talk about the hula dance festival at all was the right one....although I guess we might have ended up at the same point if we'd done that and then Okaasan had gone to her regular class the following week to find lots of ladies talking excitedly about something she hadn't gone to!
    It was a Lose-Lose Situation really....