Wondering here whether we should just let Okaasan wander in the evenings?
Last night we both got home about 6 pm - Okaasan had been out in the early afternoon for lunch in a local restaurant and of coutse come back with food shopping too. Then fallen asleep in front of the TV.
At 6 pm when we were coming home - SHE was ready to go walking.
"Yes, I went out lunchtime, but that isn't walking!" she told me.
She went out. Yujiro prepped dinner. At 7 pm we called her. At 7.20 she got home. At 7.30 pm we got her to the table. She sat there saying "It's hot isn't it?" and looking around the kitchen, looking at the food in front of her.
"No, I'm not hungry. I ate lunch. I ate something earlier. I'll eat it later etc etc".
So we ate her food and washed up and retired upstairs.
But I really am beginning to wonder. Maybe we shouldn't be calling her back home from this evening wanderings. Just let her go and come back in her own natural time. Give her food later if she wants it. But we will eat at 7 pm.
She is often a bit flustered and hot from having just come home...she won't starve if she doesn't eat dinner.
The main reason for getting her back to eat with us is to give her some kind of mental stimulation of conversation (such as it is!) with us round the kitchen table.
But maybe we shouldn't disturb her evening wanderings...just let her come and go as she likes and not force her into OUR schedule. Of course it means we'll have to go back into the kitchen after she returns to prepare the food again which is a hassle for us, but would let her come home and eat when she wants.
I suggested this to Yujiro...he is still thinking about it.
Hmm, I don't know. How late do will you let her wander for? How late is the latest she will wander for? I don't like the idea of her being out in the dark by herself, anything could happen. Being that it's Japan and it's pretty safe, but still..
ReplyDeleteI reckon she would wander locally for about 2 or 3 hours...so if she goes out at 6 pm I think she would come by 9 pm.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she is in danger really...
The sad thing is that she would lose the one time of the day when she has the chance to sit and have a personal, regular conversation...the rest is all chat as we drift in and out on our busy lives....dinner time is the time when she engages in/listens to a conversation with understanding people...US!
Japanese people are so used to eating cold food you could probably just leave her setting out after you eat yours. My host mum used to leave all sorts out on the big table, covered in one of those huge white net things. Not sure how hot it gets up your way though and whether this might just give her food poisoning!
ReplyDeleteYou could always leave her to her own devices a few times and see what she does, when she gets home and if in fact she even eats on the days she gets home later. If she doesn't eat later either then I think it makes more sense trying to get her home and sitting down having some form of family conversation.
good luck.