Friday, 27 March 2015

Out...and down :-(

And. Another fall.
How many times can an old lady fall down without seriously injuring herself? We are finding out.
Not sure MY nerves can stand the stress, though.

It was a beautiful day - getting warm, sunshine and springy.
I called Okaasan from the office at 2 pm. Told her the weather was great and that now was the time to go for a walk. I'd given her some money at breakfast time.

So. A little surprised, and worried that I got home at 6.10 pm and she was out. Now the spring day had turned dark and cold.
Tracked her on the GPS and saw that she was near the local MacDonald s. I called her and told her to come home soon for dinner. I asked about her legs and she claimed she was fine and didn't need a ride in the car.

THEN I realised her winter coat was still hanging in her room. She'd gone out wearing a blouse and a cardigan?
So I jumped in the car and went looking for her, in the evening rush hour. Couldn't find her and had left my phone on the kitchen table.

So, back home. Started cooking dinner...waited. Checked the GPS again....finally near 7 pm could see her on the GPS in the next street.
Waited. 10 minutes, she didn't return.

I walked outside to look: found her sitting in the dark, cold street - with legs nearly drawn up in front of a prim girl sitting at a picnic.
84 years old and sitting in the street at 7 pm on a March night in 5 C.

She seemed ok though. Kept saying it was too soon to stand up,  getting testy with me for worrying. I brought a chair out of the house  so she could get to her feet. Then took her hand firmly and walked her inside.
Gave her dinner - and watched her do the whole tea/water/powder/cold water/hot water dance while the food got cold on the table.

Finally I escaped.

Luckily, luckily she seems ok. I haven't seen her body - I am sure there will be bruises/cuts from falling on the road surface. But no broken bones. Amazing, really.

What could I have done differently?
Is it too soon for her to walk alone outside?

I should have hunted for her more in the car and brought her home. That's for sure. Despite her refusal of a lift. My decision making about her ability is better than her own ability.
I should have called her again at 2.30 pm to make sure she really WAS going out for a walk in daylight?

We shouldn't be letting her walk out alone yet?

aghhh..........have to talk to DS (who is away at a ski resort for 4 days)....

Mean thought of the Day: I wish she WOULD injure herself and end up in hospital. Life would be easier.

Can't say that anywhere else....but here.....


  1. I can understand the psychological motives behind your thought and cannot criticize it. However, be careful with what you wish for. A fall that would require hospital treatment means she would be in a hospital for a couple of days, maybe weeks and then would return home and YOU would be having to deal with her with a cast/with stitches/in a wheelchair/crutches/needing help to be moved, have diapers changed, be washed, do physical therapy, etc plus a raise in her dementia levels due to the stress. I've been there and it's not pleasant, believe me.

    Maybe it's time to give more attention to your needs because you sound (understandably) stressed out. Think about a plan to allow you to step back from carer duties and let DS assume her daily management when his Winter work finishes (must be soon right?).

    Take care of yourself too. Don't forget that.


    1. Oh I know.....i know... I can imagine...she would be the worst hospital patient and recovering at home patient EVER! But know...I just wish...:-)

  2. There comes a time when a family needs outside help. Despite objections, embarassment, fear, sometimes you just have to get help. And that's ok.