Thursday, 28 April 2016

Fraying routines

Dinner is finished.
It's time to stand up and check there is water in the electric kettle.
Then flick the switch down to start the water heating.
Walk to the dresser and get a tea cup and the green tea can. And a wooden spatula.

Put them on the table. Open the tea can. Put a spatula of tea in the cup. Close the tea can lid.
When the water boils - the click of the switch and the light off indicates - pick up the kettle from its holder and pour the water into the cup. Stir a little.
Sit and drink.

That's the routine. Okaasan's lunchtime and dinnertime routine. Without fail. After a meal, time for green tea.
She doesn't cook now. She hardly sets the table. Clears her dishes from the table sometimes, washes a dish sometimes, wipes down the kitchen counter...

But the tea making is her solo task.

We've noticed it is fraying a little. Usually she manages to do it all in order and complete the task. But sometimes ...recently more times...not.

Right from the start actually. From the decision to make tea - sometimes she finishes eating and we are busying around the kitchen (well, ok...trying to escape) she just sits. And sits. Doesn't actually make any move to get up and start the tea process. Just sits and watches us washing dishes, putting leftovers in a box, changing the trash bag.

If we say: "Okaasan, there's water for tea!" she starts in on the routine. But often not.

Then the whole kettle/tea/cup/spatula process gets all mixed up.
Cup with only hot water.
Tea into the dirty bowl which has traces of curry on it.
Tea and water BACK into the kettle.
Tea in cup placed slightly to one side and a second cup made straight away.
Tea and cup left forgotten on the table.

More and more we notice that the routine isn't going smoothly.


  1. Have you seen this?

    1. HI L,

      thankyou so much for this link - I've been reading my way thru the story of Geri and her husband. So interesting!

      I could identify with so much of what she conversation just seems tiring, how each day blends into the next, how choices are hard...and so much else.

      Thankyou! Great reading.