"Let's Tennis! Let's Sale! Let's Cute Dog!"
And after that shocker of yesterday I expect there is a "Let's Fuckin' Sale!" somewhere in Japan...
I'm employing the Let's magic to chirp-along Okaasan into doing stuff. Or, allowing me to do stuff for her.
"Let's bundle up your old newspapers!"
"Let's make a hair appointment for this afternoon!"
"Let's skip having a bath before you go out, cos it will take a bloody long time!".
Suddenly thought I should get her along for a haircut and perm before I go back to work and I get busy with my friend's home moving next week. So...off we'll go this afternoon..probably hand in hand across the ice.
"Let's slip and fall together! Yay".
I've had 72 hours off Okaasan watch because my old boss came to town for 2 nights with a young homestay guest, and we enjoyed a night out at the Sapporo Beer Garden with BBQ lamb and veggies, and then long, long chats over a second coffee and dinner.
So we left sushi on the table for Okaasan the first night, and Yujiro came home from work and "did" Okaasan the second night. Okaasan let a whole nice sunny day slip away and then set out as dusk appeared at 4 pm. As usual.
My old boss was full of advice about How to Manage a Demented Oldie, but however kind it all is...the reality is different. I have to remember to let concerned people shower me with advice and not get het up about it.
Yes, I KNOW there are day care centers and assessments and professional help.
But I have a son who thinks his mum is basically ok. And a woman who hates hospitals.
Yes, I KNOW it is dangerous for her to go walking at 4 pm.
But, how the F}{~$# do you actually stop her?
Yes, I KNOW.........
Let's Lunch!
Let's Get Dressed into the right kind of clothes for January.
Let's Put on Boots not Shoes!
Let's Go! (Repeat for 20 minutes)
Let's Perm!
I think that one thing you'll eventually have to do is find peace with the limits of your control over okaasan. You can't stop a grown woman from doing some things and it's not your responsibility if there are negative outcomes. Sometimes bad things are going to happen because she's not a child who you can physically restrain and she's mentally incapable of making the best choices. Ultimately, it is her son's responsibility to make sure she gets whatever care she needs because he is the one with the legal control over a person who is operating in a diminished capacity. Your power is limited and that limits your ability to protect her. If something happens, it will be because sometimes things happen even when you do the best you can.
ReplyDeleteYou continue to impress me with your care and endurance!
Let's Perm - love it. Glad the hair appointment is out of the way for another couple of months. Thank god Granny K doesn't walk round the kitchen in her underwear.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, BBQ and beer. Nom nom. want some.
My grandad likes to take walks at 4 am! It's crazy, he just walks down the four flights of stairs and sits in the park! Luckily its hong kong, so its really warm at night and every one around the neighbourhood knows him, so its cool.
ReplyDeleteReally? I wonder why he is doing that...although maybe it IS the coolest time of the day in HK....did he used to get up at that time for work maybe? Okaasan gets active late afternoon and I think it is all part of a lifetime of going out after the heat of the day to do the shopping for the family dinner...but in Hokkaido at 5 pm in winter it is DARK and COLD!
ReplyDelete