Okaasan back up and in action again.
Mystery pain forgotten and gone.
Yesterday she ate lunch, washed a few underpants, went out at 5 pm and came home at 7 pm - after a long walk all the way to MacDonald's and back. Ate huge dinner.
After 2 days laying on the carpet moaning and gasping.
We think that maybe the sharp pain in the ribs/side was just that she'd been sleeping in a bad position and had muscle pain. She sleeps on the carpet, usually on her side, facing the TV (Yes, we know this is bad...but she won't do anything different).
These mystery pains that come and go in Okaasan's life.
Of course old people gets aches and pains - that's normal.
But, I do feel the dementia changes how she reacts to it: everything is always a BIG drama. It's a huge pain, right now! Don't know what! Don't remember why ( of course)....
It's the same with pets. They have a physical problem. They can't tell you how or why, or really how much. And it is NOW!
In a way it is good that Okaasan has such anti-hospitals/doctors opinions, because we don't - or really can't - take her to have anything checked out. Every time she stops eating and just lays around on the carpet, sipping water....and we wait...and eventually whatever it was passes...and she goes back to her routines.
Of course, if there IS something that needs outside help she will only let us get it very late, probably when she is unable to fight us off - but these fleeting problems come and go - without us knowing any more. If there is something bad happening in her body we won't know. That is her choice.
Just thinking of your upcoming trip. It's so true that you can't really make her do something she doesn't want to do. (go to the doctor's). I was just thinking that you might need to leave a note or something for the caregivers, that her choice is to not go to the hospital. Otherwise I can imagine them freeking out if she starts to moan etc. A neighbor of mine in the US started to go through dementia at home. She had good days and bad, but was obviously becoming more and more forgetful. She developed a bleeding ulcer and the family took her in to the hospital. When they found out what it was though, the family decided to not do surgery, and just did supportive care. She died a few days later. So just thinking that it was a good choice for this family, and everyone agreed with it. Maybe if Okasan can write down something with her son, about her wishes for medical treatment, it would be good to have it documented. (kind of like a living will.). Thinking of you all. I imagine it is hard to not know.. Nancy in Tokyo
ReplyDeleteGood point - we have SO much to tell the carers, and Okaaasan's attitude to doctors and hospitals is important. Thankyou for reminding me....
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