Probably shouldn't.
But will.
Dear Son went last week to accompany Okaasan to the 3rd floor of the care home and the day center room with its physical training area, handicrafts and lunch...
And. You know what?
She was fine!
A different person. Apparently. The staff were surprised. She smiled and laughed and enjoyed it. He (says) he kept a distance and just observed, but she was fine....and now they are making plans for her to go every week - AND to have other 20-minute sessions with visiting staff too.
Amazing. And a relief.
Was it because he was there? Or was it just that now she is more settled into the new routines of the care home - more than in the first few weeks? Or the medicines are at regular times, so her overall mood is better?
Don't know.
But good.
Going back to drinking now. Had a shitty day at work. Got wine. And a Couch Surfer came with British chocolates. And one cat has disappeared under a neighbohhd house in hot pursuit of a stray.
so thats me saturday night.
Cheers
Saturday, 27 January 2018
Sunday, 21 January 2018
Oh! There you are...
First visit to Okaasan for 2018 - slightly guilty about that.
But she, of course, is fine. Has no concept of time, so when I pull up a chair and sit beside her as she watches TV in the care home lounge - she has no idea how long or short I've been away. Just happy to see me.
I spent an hour with her: drinking coffee, eating snacks, watching Tv, wheeling her to the 1st floor and a 1 minute trip beyond the doors into cold winter sunshine, then sitting at another window looking at the city view and commenting on snow and sunshine. A toilet visit in the wheelchair.
She was mainly happy and laughing. Easy to joke with. I noticed she tried to stand up more than before - good...and worrying...because if she tries that when nobody is watching and isn't so strong, and falls....
Next week Dear Son will accompany her to the physical training session and try to make THAT a positive place.
But for now I am satisfied that she is ok. The home is good enough - more mental stimulation would be better, more physical activity...but it is what it is. A safe place, with a Tv, meals, supervised toilet visits. It's a small world, but protected. If I were a non-working woman and were home all day to constantly check on her then she could live with us - but not now.
And still we wait to hear WHAT we are going to do with her old rooms at home. The cats, occasional guests, drying laundry....it is wasted space. The house owners are dragging their feet on our request to move my English school to the house. I need to know soon.....March is the time when things end and change happens in Japan.
Cross fingers for day care success.
But she, of course, is fine. Has no concept of time, so when I pull up a chair and sit beside her as she watches TV in the care home lounge - she has no idea how long or short I've been away. Just happy to see me.
I spent an hour with her: drinking coffee, eating snacks, watching Tv, wheeling her to the 1st floor and a 1 minute trip beyond the doors into cold winter sunshine, then sitting at another window looking at the city view and commenting on snow and sunshine. A toilet visit in the wheelchair.
She was mainly happy and laughing. Easy to joke with. I noticed she tried to stand up more than before - good...and worrying...because if she tries that when nobody is watching and isn't so strong, and falls....
Next week Dear Son will accompany her to the physical training session and try to make THAT a positive place.
But for now I am satisfied that she is ok. The home is good enough - more mental stimulation would be better, more physical activity...but it is what it is. A safe place, with a Tv, meals, supervised toilet visits. It's a small world, but protected. If I were a non-working woman and were home all day to constantly check on her then she could live with us - but not now.
And still we wait to hear WHAT we are going to do with her old rooms at home. The cats, occasional guests, drying laundry....it is wasted space. The house owners are dragging their feet on our request to move my English school to the house. I need to know soon.....March is the time when things end and change happens in Japan.
Cross fingers for day care success.
Friday, 19 January 2018
Happy mode...and waiting.
Dear Son has been to the care home several times and reports Okaasan seems happy and settled into her room and the lounge on the 10th floor. All well.
Next week he will go and join Okaasan as the staff try to take her to the 3rd floor again for day service - walking and activities etc. Hoping that she will be more accepting this time of a new place, because he is with her.
It's sad though - only 2 months ago at the hospital she enjoyed it when we took her in the wheelchair to other floors, other windows and other views. I guess her necessary-world is getting smaller? Makes me wonder if we will actually be able to do the little trips out in the car to lunches etc that we plan for spring....
Dear Son gets Okaasan to walk a bit when he visits. Gets her standing and leaning on the walking frame - to exercise up and down the 10th floor corridors. He says she is ok, but too fast - obviously not understanding the relationship between her power and the wheels and the inherent danger. The 10th floor staff don't walk with her like this - it isn't part of their service - and until she can use this frame safely on her own she is still in the wheelchair....which she ALSO doesn't use herself. She waits for someone to push her.....
He says that when he visits he pushes her wheelchair just outside the care home doors into sunshine - which she enjoys. And then back to the 10th floor.
Hopefully Jan 24th day service visit will be a success.
Me? I haven't actually seen Okaasan since December 31st!!!! Which is why this blog has been silent.
The first few days of New Year I was busy being selfish and enjoying hours and hours of British TV dramas on Netflix. I planned to go to Okaasan. There was skiing and dinner and lunches with friends...
Then I got influenza....3 days of bed and blurrr....followed by a week of coughing and tiredness.
And then work started again.
So. Those are my excuses! I will go this weekend...I have to. Cos I just wrote it here.
On into 2018.
Dear Son has been to the care home several times and reports Okaasan seems happy and settled into her room and the lounge on the 10th floor. All well.
Next week he will go and join Okaasan as the staff try to take her to the 3rd floor again for day service - walking and activities etc. Hoping that she will be more accepting this time of a new place, because he is with her.
It's sad though - only 2 months ago at the hospital she enjoyed it when we took her in the wheelchair to other floors, other windows and other views. I guess her necessary-world is getting smaller? Makes me wonder if we will actually be able to do the little trips out in the car to lunches etc that we plan for spring....
Dear Son gets Okaasan to walk a bit when he visits. Gets her standing and leaning on the walking frame - to exercise up and down the 10th floor corridors. He says she is ok, but too fast - obviously not understanding the relationship between her power and the wheels and the inherent danger. The 10th floor staff don't walk with her like this - it isn't part of their service - and until she can use this frame safely on her own she is still in the wheelchair....which she ALSO doesn't use herself. She waits for someone to push her.....
He says that when he visits he pushes her wheelchair just outside the care home doors into sunshine - which she enjoys. And then back to the 10th floor.
Hopefully Jan 24th day service visit will be a success.
Me? I haven't actually seen Okaasan since December 31st!!!! Which is why this blog has been silent.
The first few days of New Year I was busy being selfish and enjoying hours and hours of British TV dramas on Netflix. I planned to go to Okaasan. There was skiing and dinner and lunches with friends...
Then I got influenza....3 days of bed and blurrr....followed by a week of coughing and tiredness.
And then work started again.
So. Those are my excuses! I will go this weekend...I have to. Cos I just wrote it here.
On into 2018.
Thursday, 4 January 2018
New Year ....
Happy New Year dear readers!
Me at a ski resort on January 1st...my annual ski-in-the-new-year trip.
So. This New Year I had none of the obligations to do anything about Japanese traditions and customs...none of the special food shopping/prepping/cooking or serving. No need to take Okaasan for walks round supermarkets and stop her buying expensive ingredients for meals she had long forgotten how to make.
This time I accepted a friend's offer for a Dec. 31st dinner in her home - ironically and usefully just two blocks away from the care home.
So I arrived at the care home at 5 pm just as all the residents were tucking into a special dinner of celebration foods in the lounge, with the TV showing old fashioned songs performed by ladies in kimono and men with hair gel.
Okaasan was in good form - telling me about the foods, about the decorations...laughing about the TV. The staff gave her the after dinner coffee, which is laced with her dementia medicines, and she drank it happily.
I stayed an hour and then headed off to my New Year at my friend's home.
What a difference from years past!
However....
The floor manager mentioned to me something about Okaasan not being so great about going to Day Service (on another floor of the same building), something about her shouting and not feeling happy in a new place.
So, when Dear Son came home for 2 days from ski work - he went to see Okaasan. Found her happy enough - but bizarrely singing an old Tokyo summer festival song, along with the hand movements...continuously...
And he talked to the manager about the Day Service problems.
Seems, very disappointingly, that Okaasan only went to day Service ONCE. She got very agressive and shouted at people, so they took her back to her residential floor and then DIDN'T TRY AGAIN.
That is bloody amazing. And ridiculous.
One time? And they gave up?
And didn't discuss this with us? (To be fair, there was some mix up about my correct phone number)...but even so.
Day Service was meant to be a big plus in Okaasan's life in this care home - the chance to get her leg muscles strong enough by walking practice, and have more one-on-one communication and activity, such as handicrafts.
And they gave up after one bad experience?
We're not happy.
This week is still holiday in Japan...next week Dear Son will go to the home and join Okaasan in the Day Service room, hoping to give her a positive feeling about it. At the last hospital she was in, September to December - the daily physical training session was something she enjoyed and we want that for her again.
Very disappointing. Maybe the staff were busy with the crisis about the norovirus outbreak etc, and they had my phone number wrong...but...but...
So. Still hoping that we have made a good decision about this place...
So. This New Year I had none of the obligations to do anything about Japanese traditions and customs...none of the special food shopping/prepping/cooking or serving. No need to take Okaasan for walks round supermarkets and stop her buying expensive ingredients for meals she had long forgotten how to make.
This time I accepted a friend's offer for a Dec. 31st dinner in her home - ironically and usefully just two blocks away from the care home.
So I arrived at the care home at 5 pm just as all the residents were tucking into a special dinner of celebration foods in the lounge, with the TV showing old fashioned songs performed by ladies in kimono and men with hair gel.
Okaasan was in good form - telling me about the foods, about the decorations...laughing about the TV. The staff gave her the after dinner coffee, which is laced with her dementia medicines, and she drank it happily.
I stayed an hour and then headed off to my New Year at my friend's home.
What a difference from years past!
However....
The floor manager mentioned to me something about Okaasan not being so great about going to Day Service (on another floor of the same building), something about her shouting and not feeling happy in a new place.
So, when Dear Son came home for 2 days from ski work - he went to see Okaasan. Found her happy enough - but bizarrely singing an old Tokyo summer festival song, along with the hand movements...continuously...
And he talked to the manager about the Day Service problems.
Seems, very disappointingly, that Okaasan only went to day Service ONCE. She got very agressive and shouted at people, so they took her back to her residential floor and then DIDN'T TRY AGAIN.
That is bloody amazing. And ridiculous.
One time? And they gave up?
And didn't discuss this with us? (To be fair, there was some mix up about my correct phone number)...but even so.
Day Service was meant to be a big plus in Okaasan's life in this care home - the chance to get her leg muscles strong enough by walking practice, and have more one-on-one communication and activity, such as handicrafts.
And they gave up after one bad experience?
We're not happy.
This week is still holiday in Japan...next week Dear Son will go to the home and join Okaasan in the Day Service room, hoping to give her a positive feeling about it. At the last hospital she was in, September to December - the daily physical training session was something she enjoyed and we want that for her again.
Very disappointing. Maybe the staff were busy with the crisis about the norovirus outbreak etc, and they had my phone number wrong...but...but...
So. Still hoping that we have made a good decision about this place...
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