Thursday, 19 January 2012

Getting in some help.

Gonna have a lunch box delivery service next week, and maybe beyond, to give me a  chance to breath.

So happy about that. A big part of my brain is jumping up and down making whooping sounds. ;-))

We did it before - 2 years ago? - and now we decided to bring it in again.

He came home last night with his ski teaching schedule into February after day after day of being away basically. A night or two passing through home. But basically away till February 4.

I said I couldn't. Needed help.
No big drama. I just suggested the hot lunch delivery service and he agreed.

Making lunch for Okaasan ISN'T hard. It's troublesome, and in a busy working week it is One More Thing To Do. The past week we haven't had heavy snowfall, if we do, then clearing snow outside the front door will ALSO have to be factored into the morning duties.

Usually, sometime between a shower/getting dressed/packing my work bag/settling the cats/finding my house keys....somewhere in there I am usually in the kitchen heating up something/quickly cooking something to put in Okaasan's lunch flask, heating up the rice, cutting up some pickles, putting some kind of vegetable out, putting the instant soup packs in a bowl etc

Then, when I come home, I usually wash all the dirty plates because she doesn't. She thinks she will "after a bit of TV and a sit", but she doesn't.
And in between work I am thinking about the shopping for this: what kind of sloppy food I can make to put in the flasks.
The other day I risked giving her a half cooked flat fish, showed her the fish and explained she just had to heat it. Left her to it. Came home 6 hours later wondering if I'd find a burned pan...or worse. But she HAD managed to do it with minimal burn.

Okaasaan really can't cook. Just about heat something up. Put an egg in a pan of soup. Can't really use the microwave. She wouldn't starve. But she wouldn't eat well, and the kitchen would look like chimpanzee cooking day at the zoo....because she doesn't wash or put away stuff. And last summer we were getting to the 3 burned pans a week stage...which added a whole other task into the late afternoon...scrubbing the pans usable again.

So. Hot lunch delivery service commeth. Okaasan had it before and it was ok. But after a while she said she got bored with the food and wanted to go out for lunch. Was that winter? I don't remember.

So happy about this. 
Yes, I CAN do it. But day after day on my own - not to mention the whole dinner duties too and what-to-talk-about - it is just grim. When he is here we take turns with it all, and it doesn't seem so bad. If he is away for a week and more - I think I might go pop.
Of course I could make more time in my morning - get up earlier, stop wasting away time playing Wordscraper games on Facebook etc...stop going to the gym in the late afternoon and shop and go home and pre-cook stuff.

But why should I?

I have a life. This isn't my mother. This family isn't poor. Paying for a hot lunch to be delivered to this old lady would be a BIG help.

I'll take it.

One of my students was so excited to hear about this today, she said it could be a first step in Yujiro accepting that we need outside help etc - and once again I got the Day Care Centers Are So Wonderful speech from a concerned, kind person.
I don't think this is going to lead direct to day care. Yujiro doesn't want to face THAT hurdle yet. Doesn't want to initiate the inevitable fight with Okaasan on that topic. Doesn't want to admit to himself maybe that we can't do it all.....
He is happy to let it all drift along - with he and I taking turns to make it all go smoothly. And generally it does.

But when he is away for more than a few days the balancing act becomes a lot harder and I'm reaching out for the support now.

Still have to do dinners though :-(


  1. Good move! I can imagine that figuring lunch into your work day is a pain in the ass and takes up a lot of your own free time when you need to wind down after classes and the likes.

  2. Issues with Japanese culture and politeness aside, if the service offers something Okaasan likes it could actually help her get good nutrition and also give her something to look forward to. Sometimes elderly people (especially those with dementia) like seeing a new face, even if it's "only" the lunch delivery, and it can also help them not wander (because they like to be home for the delivery).

    I think it's a great idea!