Chickens.

We are chickens. He and I. But mostly he.


We haven't told Okaasan the awful truth yet....stalling until she remembers that she wants to join that hula class.
The class that she isn't good enough for.


I got home last night about 8 pm, he and Okaasan had already started dinner and from the front door I could hear her laughter and his chat.
So I went in all smiling and joined dinner, thinking "did he tell her, or not?", but making sure not to mention hula/Hawaii/dance/exercise in case she got onto that topic.
Okaasan seemed very upbeat and we all enjoyed dinner chat and laughs about stuff.


Went back upstairs after dinner.
"Did you tell her yet?"
"Err. No. She seemed very down this evening, so I didn't tell her."


????????????????????????????


Chicken.


But, me too. I put the task onto him.
We are both nervous about how she will take it, how she will react to knowing: you are not good enough to join a performance level class etc.


We talked about it several times....and he says he is going to be honest with her. That this is best. That: "she should know the reality of her dance level".


Reality? A dementia sufferer?? Hello?????
She is still in 15 years ago thinking, when her husband died and she joined a hula dance class etc - when she could still do the dance steps etc.


This morning was pitiful really. I'm ashamed to say he and I skulked around upstairs and in the kitchen, hoping Okaasan wouldn't ask about the Thursday morning hula class.
It's pouring with rain in Sapporo today, so he has no work. He will be at home with her all day.
Would she suddenly realize it was Thursday at time for a 10 am class?


Well, when we left the house at 9.45 am (gave me a lift to the station in the car), she was still sitting in front of her TV engrossed in the morning noise that is Japanese daytime shows.
She has a calender and a clock, but hadn't yet connected to what day/time it was.


And so. I am here at work all day.
I will go home tonight and find out how that "she should know the reality" worked out.
I expect Okaasan will be in a sad funk, curled up on the carpet by the TV sadly defeated by the world. Pretty sure she won't accept the idea that the old people's hula class may be better for her. So, again. No hula class. No interaction with other people, no feelings of success at being able to do something.


I may stay at the office all night.


But also, this kind of stuff makes me dread (like him) the whole idea of trying-to-get-Okaasan-assessed-for-daycare-attendance.
We know she will fight THAT idea. And trying to get round her to GET her to a hospital for an assessment, and trying to get her to GO to daycare.
Oh, the battles.


We can't get her to even try hula dance class for elderly people. Not even one. I don't hold out much hope for a hospital and a doctor asking questions.


Sigh.


She is too self-aware still. Much too aware. Have to wait until she is more confused?