Being handled

So - we are all handling eachother.

He is handling me: took me out to dinner, chatted on and on in a friendly, non-confrontational way....said he would try and research WHERE and WHAT KIND of treatment place Okaasan went to 20 years ago in Saitama for a leg condition.
So he started boosting up Google Maps on the computer and clicking along a cherry-tree lined street between a river and a school in the Tokyo suburbs - where once Okaasan had walked and seen a sign and gone in and had some kind of treatment.
I'm not kidding. She doesn't know the name of the treatment. Only that it was good and helped her!!! And it was somewhere between the school gates, and along the river...somewhere..

And he is going along with that as an idea....meanwhile he is trying to get Okaasan to walk around the kitchen table every morning for exercise...

20 years ago in a Japanese street is a long time. The guy doing the treatment has probably died and the land has been sold and new houses have been built.....and Dear Son thinks he is going to find out what kind of treatment Okaasan thought was good. The treatment with no name...


I. Am. Trying. To. Be. Patient.

It's hard.

So I took myself yesterday to this..............

It helped.

The wind and the sunshine and the waves. 3 hours I was out there, trying to release the stress.

But all not helped by the fact that this 3 day holiday weekend Dear Son suddenly had to work. The blind lady, who is a regular bike taxi customer, came to town and he is out at 9 am and back at 8.30 pm or later, helping her with many many requests for sightseeing and shopping.

So. I am alone with Okaasan. And my rage.

Ironic that. 72 hours after shouting at her.

Yesterday I did the minimum: I opened and closed her curtains and windows. I left lunch on the table. I offered her dinner, but she didn't want it.

Today I gave her lunch and sat and let her chat on about her long-ago cooking classes in Tokyo. I went and bought her yogurt and snacks at the supermarket.

I had the usual - will eat/won't eat for dinner...and then finally sat with her for 20 minutes while she played with a bit of soup.

ALMOST got thru it all...was about to get away to my bottle of Chardonnay...

Made the mistake of crossing off "dentist" on the kitchen calender.

"What are you doing?" Okaasan asked.

"Well, I cancelled the dentist for you, it's this Friday, you can't go to Odori for that..."

"Friday? What day is today? Monday? Oh, I can go to that, there is no need to cancel!"

"I don't think so! You haven't been able to get outside this house for 2 weeks,  your legs hurt, I don't think you'll go to Odori in 4 days time..."

"But I've studied this! I've studied bodies and health! Have you? I have! I know how to make my body well!"

Her voice rising in anger. 

Mine too.....

"Ah, yes - and it is going so well, isn't it???!! Five weeks of pain, you haven't been out of the house for 2 weeks now...your way is really good isn't it!!"

Heavy sarcasm. And I walked out of the kitchen before my voice got any nastier.

And so.

We are all handling the situation.

Badly.