"Okaasan is much better today!" - Dear Son greeted me when I got home from work.
"She ate a big lunch at home with me, she walked around the kitchen smoothly, she chatted to the day center manager and the city office woman - look she's sitting up on her sofa and looking at magazines! so I didn't make an appointment at a massage clinic."
And so she was.
After - how many? - weeks of curled up on the carpet with the TV remote in one hand, hardly eating and walking with agony....there she was - a semblance of the old Okaasan.
Amazing. A bloody miracle.
She wasn't perky, but she came and ate dinner at the kitchen table with us and grunted replies to things, ate all her food, debated having seconds....
Amazing.
Really? Weeks of pain and bad feeling - suddenly all gone?
I didn't believe it. But I let Dear Son prattle on about it.
There was an unspoken "told you so" in the air between us. :-( Had Okaasan's way really brought success? Do nothing and eat a little? Back in early September she had a week like this - when the leg pain seemed to get a little better and she set out walking alone to local shops. And had to be brought home. Then terrible pain again and housebound.
I felt happy, of course. If it was true. I WANT Okaasan to be mobile and easier to care for in winter.
I also felt - what the f*** - what was all the family fighting and stress in aid of? All that wasted energy.
And I felt cynical. Rheumatism, if that is what it is, suddenly disappears like that?
Anyway, an evening of relief......
The city office staff had come in the afternoon to meet Okaasan and Dear Son, after the new dementia assessment and to talk ongoing care. There had been questions and chat. Okaasan had been walking in the kitchen with little apparent pain: "pain? No, I haven't had pain...it feels a little strange, day care? Oh I'll go to that, why not?".....all the weeks of pain have gone from her mind?
At night I dreamt that Okaasan was bobbing round the kitchen table bending her knees, and then scampering up a flight of stairs. This whole topic is even invading my dreams now!
Come this morning.
I gave all the responsibility for Okaasan to Dear Son, while I got ready for work. He took the "we're coming at 9.15 am" call from the day service, and he got Okaasan prepped for going.
She didn't want to go.
Legs hurt. Don't feel good. Going to stay here. Don't want to stand up.
etc etc etc etc
He was crushed. Really crushed. He'd absolutely believed she'd got better.
I was internally triumphant. I told you so. :-)
Probably she'd had a good day - lunch with him and then two visitors who came and chatted to her about her problems - she'd forgotten the pain/ or put on a good public show for the guests. Whichever.
I resolutely stayed out of it while he had the fuss around with the day center driver and Okaasan and more and more chat about pain and legs and a mystery treatment 20 years ago. And some sidebar chat about some woman at day care that Okaasan doesn't like...but she isn't there on Thursdays. Finally HE is there in the room with Okaasan and the day center staff while the whole thing goes round and round in circles. I am upstairs....listening with glee.
Finally?
They got Okaasan to stand up, get dressed and GO to day care! Helped her down the steps and into the car.
And Dear Son came upstairs, got on the computer and FOUND the 20 years ago treatment clinic in Saitama on Google Maps, found the clinic's website and found that the doctor is only about 60 years old. An e mail has gone to ask him what he did for Okaasan 20 years ago....
And the big mystery treatment?
It's a chiropractor clinic. We have those in Sapporo.
The whole situation has moved on HUGE steps in 24 hours.
Told you so. ;-)
* Good Oyomesan - with Okaasan out of the house finally today I could get into her room and clean. So between 12 and 2 and a class break I rushed home and vacumed, and hunted down underwear and rotting food, and put away newspapers and supermarket flyers.
GOOD Oyomesan.
saint oyomesan. Glad almost it didn't all turn out roses and sunshine for dear hub but also glad he was able to find that clinic - amazing!
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