No change.
Not really.
Fever comes and goes. Blood pressure falls, unless medicine is administered.
Okaasan is kind of sleeping, but sometime breathing is hard. Her eyes open for a while. And then close again.
Oh god...we have a no- resuscitation request, but the Japanese health system still forces life...by using the drugs to keep the heart working. It really is terrible. Okaasan wouldn't want this, at all.
So. Day by day.
I was thinking yesterday I should get out one of her favorite blouses from the closet and iron it. So that she can "wear" that for her final journey.
Onwards.
So sorry to hear this. It must be so difficult for you both to see her like this. Could you request no medication other than pain medication, kind of like hospice care. Thinking of you both, Nancy
ReplyDeleteI don't think that's an option here...I've talked a little to him about that idea, but he isn't a very proactive person. Years of conditioning to accept what an expert says? If it were MY mum I'd be sitting down to ask the doc what he is legally allowed to do!
DeleteThinking of you and Yujiro; I so wish they would just stop the heart/blood pressure meds and either let her slip away or do what is so common here - doctor administered morphine, just the right amount. It is truly astounding how long they have let her go on like this. I can't be the only long-time fan of your blog who keeps checking in occasionally, wondering and yes, hoping for a peaceful end for dear Kazuko. Please remind Yujiro there are people all over the world who will remember his mum for all the good reasons and the wonderful amazing job you both did, caring for her for so, so long. Jen.
ReplyDeleteahhh...thankyou!! Yes, I think we both feel that the little human form curled up in a bed in the hospital isn't Okaasan anymore. Our Google Photos Memories that flash up over out tv screen show happier times with Okaasan enjoying birthday cakes and wheelchair trips in the park.
DeleteI too feel it is awful that Japanese medical system doesn't allow a gentle slipping away...although I guess this is what THIS is, in a way. She isn't in any pain, apart from interlude of tough breathing. So....onwards