All good things...

Final post on this blog?

I guess it might be.

What more to write? There is no more Okaasan. Only me. Some kind people have tried to encourage me to write about living all over Japan in an RV with Dear Son etc I don't think I will, because that sounds like hard work and very unnecessary - many many foreigners write about traveling Japan. The Internet doesn't need another.

So, it's been a month since Okaasan died. Thanksyou for the messages about that - from people I haven't met in years, and others I've NEVER met! I was surprised by the responses.

We ARE fine. There isn't a lot of grief when a 95 year old dies. Just relief that her hard times are finally finished. Lots of memories, and for Dear Son a LOT of official paperwork. In Japan there is something called the Family Register - an official record of a family unit. which is registered (usually) at the local government office near where they live.

When the children of the family go off to marry, the men form new registers of their own. The daughters join a new register with their husband. When land changes hands, this document is necessary to show how it was inherited thru a family etc

Anyway, Dear Son is deep into all of that. Sorting out Okaasan's pension/bank/tax and the ownership of the family home near Tokyo. Sorting out photos.

I cleared out the very last of her clothes - some to the recycle shop, and some to the trash box. Clothes really are the personal things - they symbolise a person very clearly. Some of her T-shirts and scarves have become mine.

Okaasan is in our thoughts - foods she liked, photo memories...how she hassled me about my laundry hanging routines. Mainly positive memories - although it wasn't all happiness.

We all did our best with the necessary situation. She in agreeing to come and live with her son, and the foreign partner. Him in trying to give his mother the care she required. Me in trying to be supportive of them both.

Every time there's a story in Japan about a family murder or abuse, I am shocked - but also feel an element of understanding because I know it isn't easy and takes huge reserves of patience. And a lot of alcohol. ;-)

Really, thankyou for coming along for the experience with me. Many MANY times writing this blog gave me a space to vent and share. A space to explore and accept emotions.

But. It's done now.

Dear Son and I, and cat...will stay in Sapporo a while longer. While cat is still alive. His condition is getting worse, especially in hot weather. I don't think he will live beyond this year. But who knows? After that, we will wrap up life here, return the rented house and probably rent a small place in central Japan - and then take to the road in the RV for as long as I can drive it safely, and for as long as that kind of living is fun.

If you want to find me on the Internet I have an Instagram account as "harlowamanda", mainly food and flowers...if you request to follow please mention this blog and I might "approve" your follow...

What will become of this blog? I don't know. It'll sit here on the WWW and occasionally pop up in someone's online searches about cross cultural living, or dementia? Or, do I take it off line, or delete it?

Finally - this might make you smile...

This is me, at the British Embassy in Tokyo.

I went to get documents...for...marriage!

Dear Son and I have decided to tie the knot, after all these many years. It'll probably happen later this month, just at the local government office - hand over documents, pay some money and get official stamps. Celebrate with a curry lunch and beer.

The decision was taken back in March - actually nothing to do with Okaasan's passing. Just a realisation, that as we get older many issues will be easier as a married couple: hospital access/medical decisions on behalf of eachother/social welfare/inheritence.

So. Ha!

I think we tested eachother out enough over the years. It seems to be a good fit.

I think Okaasan would probably be happy for us. I hope my parents too. We didn't marry for all these years because we didn't feel the need. But now social norms have got us ;-)

Thankyou again for reading this blog. 

I don't think I'll write again.

Byeeee!!!