Teeth
Okaasan is STILL going for weekly dentist visits, usually taken before work by Dear Son.
In Japan dentists seem to take forever to do various treatments, and I know she is on old lady with rotting teeth and once in a blue moon tooth brushing - but even so.
I trust this dentist, cos I've known him for years, so I don't think he is doing needless treatments and buying a condo in Guam on our monies.
But.
Weeks and weeks of treatment now.
I mentioned to Dear Son whether it was all really necessary, after all she is in her 80s, she is able to eat now without pain. How much dentistry is necessary?
He said her old fillings have gone rotten and there is food trapped inside and, and, and....
Could we do any better with Okaasan and her tooth cleaning? She hardly ever does it, and we don't press her. Hard to see how we can change this bad routine.
In the morning she goes to the toilet herself, but usually doesn't eat breakfast and doesn't wash or brush her teeth. She stays in her pajamas and watches TV.
She usually eats midday meal alone and then sleeps or watches TV again. In the evening we eat together, but she eats so slowly that we are usually finished and clearing our plates/putting away food and she is still picking up bits of salad with chopsticks and fussing around making green tea.
We escape back upstairs to our life and she is still in the kitchen. Then she takes her tea to the TV watching and falls asleep again.
I'm not sure where in this routine we should get her to clean her teeth. It seems strange to march into her room and say cheerfully: "Okaasan! Time to brush your teeth!". I am pretty sure we won't do this, and her teeth will continue to rot.....
We could - I guess - get the dentist to write Okaasan a note TELLING her to brush her teeth every day.....and then we can hassle her about it cos do-what-the-dentist-said.
Can we be bothered? aghh.....no......
Would it help us down the road when she doesn't even know what a toothbrush is and what to do with it? Probably.
Needles...me!
A person with a huge fear of needles and injections. I run away at pictures of porcupines.
This week? I had acupuncture!
30 or more needles all over my back and knee and stomach and thigh.!!!
Didn't hurt, felt a bit strange inside at muscle level. Little stingy feeling when they came out. But felt fine.
A friend took me along to an acupuncturist because I've had almost daily groin and thigh spasms/cramps. Really painful. Been going on for a few months now.
Dr Google has told me about dehydration and magnesium, or calcium shortages, and I've tried changing my diet. I take care with Cutest Baby in the World and Cutest Heavy Cats.
But still the spasms grab me. I bend over clutching my thigh and stretching and groaning. Has surprised a few students mid-class.
So, acupuncture. The guy gave me little electric cup pads all over my body first, then needles and electric cords like car jump leads, and finally a massage.
He didn't think it was a lower back problem. Maybe the right leg protesting about all the focus in recent years on the left knee and thigh, maybe calcium shortage, maybe, maybe...
It was interesting. I think I will go again.
Since the treatment 2 days ago I have had spasms again, not so bad. But I think I will go again. I believe in this stuff about body power points and inter-connections.
Was going to write a - "Okaasan is on a roll and got herself out and delivered herself to the dentist, maybe she doesn't have dementia at all" posting.
(Thought: "God, my blog is getting boring, nothing to write about recently...maybe Okaasan really isn't that bad...")
But then.
She couldn't.
Last week she could. Today. Couldn't.
Me? I kept far FAR away from today's activities, by taking myself for a haircut at 3 pm - so I was not involved in any way with it all. Luckily!
Dear Son put two signs on the kitchen table reminding Okaasan to get her stuff together and leave for downtown by 2.13 for a 3 pm appointment.
He telephoned her to make sure she was heading in the right direction, and then 20 minutes later he called the dentist to check she'd arrived.
Nope.
He's said "walk towards Sapporo Station". She'd walked TO Sapporo Station and was wandering lost.
He called her back several times to guide Okaasan to the clinic and called 4 times to check she was there or not. Calls here and there to make sure she got there...finally at 3.40 pm.
So HE had the headless chicken routine. :-)
Me? I sat in the hair salon chair listening to relaxing soul music and reading the newspaper.....
I got home about 5.30 pm, just as Okaasan staggered home looking very knackered.
"Did you go to the dentist ok? You found it ok?"
"Yes, yes....but I am exhausted. I had an injection, I am tired...." She sat on the hallway chair for about 10 minutes before getting into the house.
I only heard the truth of the visit when HE came home and related the afternoon's headless chicken routine. And on Monday? He is taking a day off work and he'll TAKE her to the clinic himself.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah.
This is the hardest thing about dementia - the can do/can't do.
You can never be 100% sure what she can do or can't
We probably do too much for Okaasan actually - because it is easier for us that way. We do all the shopping and cooking, the cleaning and laundry. She washes plates occasionally, dishes up rice and rubs old newspaper on her carpet to clean it...oh and ties up newspapers for the recycle box.
We should probably let her do more, or encourage her to do more.
But we don't have the time to be patient with her...
So, I was planning the dentist and taking her. Then last week she took off independently and got there herself, while I was wailing and knashing at the subway station.
Today - couldn't do it. Confusion central.
And tonight, the whole experience - certainly the confusion about losing her way - had left her tired and troubled. She didn't want any dinner and tucked herself on the carpet under the blanket, with the TV for company.
Can do/can't do/Can do/can't do....
Open - wiiiiiide!
Doesn't get much more personal than this...sitting with a ringside seat at the dentist while someone is prone with their mouth open and bits being picked out of their teeth :-(
Okaasan and Me - we went to the dentist together, she at 3 pm and me following on at 4 pm.
I was there for a brief checkup (recent night guard and cleaning) and she was there because of all the recent complaints of tooth pain and strange comments about going to the Ear, Nose and Throat doc. Except she didn't know why she was there. The tooth wasn't painful today. We had to keep telling her.
I drove her downtown and to my surprise the dentist actually invited me into the treatment room, instead of leaving me with the magazines and staff pet photo display. This meant I was doing the chatty small talk to ease Okaasan's mind. I chatted about the realistic imitation flower display, the hotel across the street, the picture, the festival in the park, the dentist's daughter (a student many years ago)...and on and on.
An XRay showed a large cavity top left - no wonder she felt pain recently. Okaasan was trying to wriggle out of it though - "Oh it's ok, the dentist is so busy, I don't want to bother him!", "it's not so bad, is it?" etc
But she caught in the web of decisionmakers - I called Dear Son on my cell phone, Dear Son and dentist chatted, Dear Son gave the go ahead for treatment, then dentist explained it as a done deal to Okaasan and before she knew it the chair was back down and she was being prepped for root extraction.....
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I felt lots of sympathy actually, after all the treatments I had last year. But, not enough to let her wriggle out. She is 83 years old, but she needs to eat and stay healthy. And increasing tooth pain isn't good.
Kind of interesting to see how they did an old patient: they had a special cushion for under her back, they fitted a heart rate monitor to her finger and kept checking it as it beeped up and down, they questioned her about taking medicines and general health (Okaasan got stroppy with me when I mentioned that she was energetic enough to do dancing at day service, she doesn't like outsiders to know she goes to that...)
And then they started...carefully injecting and treatment. I sat there - on a stool at Okaasan's feet for 45 mins...as close as any non-medical person wants to ever get to a treatment without it being your own out of necessity!
My dentist and his nurse were soooooooooooooooo goood......so good......
Poor thing. Okaasan. When she finally sat back up again she looked whacked. I felt a rush of human-to-human sympathy for her and almost hugged her.
Then there was the whole process of deciding whether she would wait for me and my treatment, or go off shopping alone. And who would pay (me) and who would decide next appointment (me)....which was another 15 minutes of toing and froing.
I called Dear Son and his bike taxi to come and pick her up and take her to the subway station and waved her off in the elevator hall - me actually wearing the dental paper bib as I was being prepped for MY check-up...
and so.....Dentist Double Date.
Exhausting.
For both of us.
