Tooth fairy for seniors?

When kids lose their teeth the tooth fairy comes.
When an 84 year old cheerfully shows you a gap in their gums - what's the protocol as a carer?
Book them into the dentist and drag them off to make sure there isn't anything worse happening in their mouth :-)

This time ok.
DS took his mum along yesterday morning and luckily the dentist replaced the tooth in one visit. Okaasan had minimal stress.
Last summer she was going once or twice  week for dental work - and we were trying to get her to brush more often. Finally her mystery leg pains halted that, because we couldn't get her out of the house, let alone into the car and downtown for a dental appointment.
I kind of think the leg pains were a physical response to the stress of endless dental work. So we gave up.
This time all done in one visit.
Mind you, Okaasan didn't remember the visit herself a few hours later. Late afternoon she was checking her handbag and getting dressed. I advised her to stay home as the rain clouds were trundling in - "and you went out this morning downtown and walked, didn't you..."
"Did I? Today?" . No memory of that.
It still amazes me, this blank. She and her son rode the subway together, then walked to the dental office, she had the treatment, then walked alone downtown and maybe had some lunch in a coffee shop, came home and probably slept in front of the TV. 
At 5 pm - no memory of any of that.

Summer is ending here, back to work with a full schedule.
Apologies for not blogging much. We have a cat with a war wound, I am trying to diet, helping a friend with clinic visits etc etc
But here.

* Read a wonderful short story recently about dementia.
Canadian writer Alice Munro's book "Dear Life" contains a story called "In Sight of the Lake", which appears to be a tale of a woman going to a doctor's appointment in a strange town. But, by the ending we realize she is a resident of a care community in the town. An inside view. Read it if you can.
* Also trying to track a new documentary film called "Everyday is Alzheimer's" by the Japanese director Yuka Sekiguchi. A follow up to her film about life with her mum. I follow Sekiguchi-san of Facebook and now her latest film is out. Not yet in my area, but showing in mainland Japan. Catch it if you can!

"Brush your teeth time!!"

Start as you mean to go on with a new regime.

That meant I reminded him, and he then brightly told his mum to brush her teeth.

And she laughed a bit, but got up off the carpet and went into the bathroom to do what the dentist ordered.

So. Day 1 good. We've thought it best to do it in the morning, when we are in the morning drink/breakfast/go to work routine. The end of the day is less fixed - with Okaasan coming home at different times and us trying to escape the very-boring-dinner-table-conversation by leaving the kitchen while she is still picking around at the food.

So. Let's dental care.

An order from the dentist...

Okaasan's dentist did a great letter to her.
Good big print. Clinic headed notepaper. Polite but firm Japanese: Recently you had to come for dental treatment many times. Your teeth are in a bad condition. I worry about your general health. You MUST clean your teeth twice a day, otherwise dental problems could spread to other parts of the body. Your right foot might fall off.

Well, not the last part.
But the rest.

Dear Son gave it to Okaasan this morning. She laughed a little nervously and read it, several times. Then put it back in the envelope and back on the table.

Hmm.
We have taken color photocopies of it, so if she loses the original we can wave other versions of the letter at her.
But, still is the problem of actually physically making her clean her teeth more. Making her get up off the carpet by the TV and 6 steps away to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
She's an expert at saying: "I've got that/done/that/seen that" - whatever our questions are. So when we ask "Time to clean your teeth today!" I can see she will endlessly say: "I did it already".
And then she will stay in front of the TV and the tooth care program won't be any better.
Have to be tough. Tougher.

She goes to the toilet several times a day. She goes to the bathroom to wash her face a) before going out b) before lunch/dinner. Maybe we'll have more luck of getting the tooth cleaning done when she is up and moving around in the kitchen/toilet/bathroom area?
Or we can ask day care to start pushing on the teeth cleaning too?


I used to have a friend (the one who dropped me cos she couldn't deal with my stressy change of life after Okaasan came to live with us...) - anyway, SHE used to clean her cat's teeth by holding the animal down over her knees, wrapping his paws/claws in a towel and brushing into the jaws of certain injury.
I'd like to try  something similar with Okaasan.

* Anyway. Life is ongoing. It's hot. I'm on sort-of summer holidays here. We've had beer garden trips with Couch Surfing guests, I went kayaking again and have got seriously hooked - thinking of buying my own kayak now, Okaasan is trying to smuggle chocolates to daycare in multiple bags...and I am finding them and eating them.
Onwards.

Teeth and Needles

Teeth
Okaasan is STILL going for weekly dentist visits, usually taken before work by Dear Son.
In Japan dentists seem to take forever to do various treatments, and I know she is on old lady with rotting teeth and once in a blue moon tooth brushing - but even so.
I trust this dentist, cos I've known him for years, so I don't think he is doing needless treatments and buying a condo in Guam on our monies.
But.
Weeks and weeks of treatment now.
I mentioned to Dear Son whether it was all really necessary, after all she is in her 80s, she is able to eat now without pain. How much dentistry is necessary?
He said her old fillings have gone rotten and there is food trapped inside and, and, and....

Could we do any better with Okaasan and her tooth cleaning? She hardly ever does it, and we don't press her. Hard to see how we can change this bad routine.
In the morning she goes to the toilet herself, but usually doesn't eat breakfast and doesn't wash or brush her teeth. She stays in her pajamas and watches TV.
She usually eats midday meal alone and then sleeps or watches TV again. In the evening we eat together, but she eats so slowly that we are usually finished and clearing our plates/putting away food and she is still picking up bits of salad with chopsticks and fussing around making green tea.
We escape back upstairs to our life and she is still in the kitchen. Then she takes her tea to the TV watching and falls asleep again.
I'm not sure where in this routine we should get her to clean her teeth. It seems strange to march into her room and say cheerfully: "Okaasan! Time to brush your teeth!". I am pretty sure we won't do this, and her teeth will continue to rot.....
We could - I guess - get the dentist to write Okaasan a note TELLING her to brush her teeth every day.....and then we can hassle her about it cos do-what-the-dentist-said.

Can we be bothered? aghh.....no......
Would it help us down the road when she doesn't even know what a toothbrush is and what to do with it? Probably.

Needles...me!
A person with a huge fear of needles and injections. I run away at pictures of porcupines.

This week? I had acupuncture!
30 or more needles all over my back and knee and stomach and thigh.!!!
Didn't hurt, felt a bit strange inside at muscle level. Little stingy feeling when they came out. But felt fine.

A friend took me along to an acupuncturist because I've had almost daily groin and thigh spasms/cramps. Really painful. Been going on for a few months now.
Dr Google has told me about dehydration and magnesium, or calcium shortages, and I've tried changing my diet. I take care with Cutest Baby in the World and Cutest Heavy Cats.
But still the spasms grab me. I bend over clutching my thigh and stretching and groaning. Has surprised a few students mid-class.

So, acupuncture. The guy gave me little electric cup pads all over my body first, then needles and electric cords like car jump leads, and finally a massage.
He didn't think it was a lower back problem. Maybe the right leg protesting about all the focus in recent years on the left knee and thigh, maybe calcium shortage, maybe, maybe...

It was interesting. I think I will go again.
Since the treatment 2 days ago I have had spasms again, not so bad. But I think I will go again. I believe in this stuff about body power points and inter-connections.

Gyaaaagghhh.......

How will I know I have dementia?  
(middle aged and elderly students are often asking me this...)

Answer  # 23,894
"When your family and friends are wailing and knashing their teeth, tearing at their clothes and dashing babes to the ground because you f####ed up yet another arrangement with them."

Okaasan decided she could go to the dentist alone yesterday.
Fine. Independent. Can do personality. I'm not a child etc etc

But. She didn't tell me.

I'm standing at the subway station, checking the clock, fretting and wailing/knashing/tearing/dashing.

Gyaaaghhhh......

Morning.
Dentist Day III all on course for success at the start - whiteboard notice on the kitchen table: "Today you have a dentist appointment, meet Dear Oyomesan at the subway at 3.30 pm to go together". Maybe today I will give her the money to pay for the treatment herself - check to see if she understands the location etc Maybe next week she could go alone? If we just phone beforehand to check she is awake? Maybe.

I go off to work.  Classes.
Afternoon. Have a little mix up with a student who comes 30 minutes late for the 1-3 pm class, so I have to finish class early to go get ready for Dentist trip.
At 3.05 pm as I am leaving the classroom I call Okaasan to check she is awake and coming to meet me.
"Yes, yes - I am leaving now!"
"Okay, XXX Station at 3.30 see you!"
"Yes, yes..."

From the station near work I jump on the subway - go one stop to our near home station and wait inside the ticket gate.Wait.
3.20......3.30...3.35...3.40....hmmm....how long can it possibly take her to walk from the house here?
I call Dear Son. He checks on his mobile phone with the GPS tracking ...and finds Okaasan already downtown...................

Gyaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Cue lots of frantic phone calls to and fro about dentist payment and checking and next appointments etc etc. Dear Son locates Okaasan and makes sure she gets to the dentist (luckily he was downtown and between bike taxi jobs)....I do headless chicken thing for a bit and then go to the gym to let off fury, go home with a packed dinner for Okaasan, feed the cats and leave home again.

I didn't trust myself to be able to have dinner alone with Okaasan ( he was working late), too much gyaaaghhh inside me, threatening to spill all over the dinner table and spark a row. Not meant to take out fury on dementia sufferer, know that, know that...but.... so SO need to get away from all of this

Need a movie and dinner out alone.
Got it.
Came home and Okaasan was asleep. End of day.

Was it MY mistake? Did she say on the phonecall: "I am going by myself" - I can't be 100% sure, because my Japanese isn't perfect. But I know she said "yes, yes" when I reminded her of the meeting time and place...so I am 95% confident it wasn't my F### up. There is always a slight fog on the field of communication between Okaasan and Me, but I am 95% sure this time it wasn't that.
I'm guessing that sometime in the afternoon in the kitchen she saw the note about the dentist appointment and decided: I don't need to be taken to that, I can go there myself.

And in her mind that decision was somehow already communicated to me...specially when I phoned. She thought she had told me this. But I'm pretty sure the decision wasn't communicated to me. Cue confusion and confusion.
Yesterday I said that it was a Good Thing that Yuka's mom didn't realize that she'd been away for a week from the house. She felt that her daughter was there, so didn't worry.
But the Bad Thing of this same internal dialogue is that dementia makes you think you've communicated with someone, because YOU have had the thought - so you go on your merry way leaving a trail of wailing and knashing behind you.
I try the same thing with Johnny Depp - I think about undressing him and covering him with chocolate - and I am sure he is understanding the message and will pop over real soon with a bar of Dairy Milk.

### But let's stay positive. Otherwise my ovaries will multiply and explode under stress...yesterday showed us that actually Okaasan DOES know the way to the dentist and can get there alone. The coaching about the location of the dentist (opposite hotel, Exit No. 5, this building, 9th floor etc).
But.
Next week - I am staying well out of it. Way, way, waaay out of it.

Dentist Date II

Another cosy twosome - to the dentist last week.
We left Okaasan large notes at home to meet me at the subway station at 2.30 pm, so I could come and get her between classes - and after a few minutes of nervous waiting...she trotted into sight at the station by 2.40 pm and we just made the dentist's clinic by 3 pm.
It's clear she doesn't really know where the dentist is. On the way I kept repeating the phrase: "almost there now, it's opposite Grand Hotel, isn't it!"...she maybe she got it fixed in her memory.

Delivered her safely for treatment, and then I managed to pay up front and make the next appointment - before I headed back to work. Reassured the clinic staff that Okaasan would be ok this time leaving alone - once she gets outside the building I was certain she would soon walk into a familiar area of downtown.

Later in the evening we all met up again back home for dinner and I apologised to Okaasan for not waiting for her.
"Oh, THAT'S ok! Don't worry at all! I'm not a child!!! It's no problem!" she said happily.

Maybe next week I will give her the cash to pay for the treatment herself. Will still probably have to take her there, and make the appointment myself - but the leftover cash won't be such a large amount. We usually only give her Y1-2,000 a day...any more and she gets shopping crazy in department stores and comes home with expensive, old fashioned vegetables or dried fish...which we then have to work out how to cook.

It's hard - how to balance managing Okaasan's life and how to balance letting her do stuff herself. I'm always surprised that she generally lets us direct things - timetables/money/plans and only occasionally gets tetchy with us about being over managed. I guess at some level she isn't certain and welcomes the reassuring help.

Okaasan catch up time.

Enough about me...and beaches in hot places.


How is Okaasan doing?

Basically ok.
But the bad tooth is giving her trouble and she is eating a little. Of course not helped by the fact that she took 3 days of medicines in 72 hours. But she is due back at the dentist on Tuesday, so she can get more drugs - and Yujiro can take a firm control of them this time.


Her memory is "as usual". Patchy.


*  She's thanked me for 4 days in a row for the souvenir flowery shawl from Australia - almost everytime she saw me in the kitchen she thanked me for the present.
*  She and I met on the door step Friday night. We found a pumpkin in a bag left by a kind student (Miwako is that from you?), we came into the house together and talked about pumpkins/Halloween/weather and walked into the kitchen together....I took my work stuff upstairs and came straight back into the kitchen..."Good evening!" ????????? She had NO memory of all of that coming-into-the-house-together...and was greeeting me as if she hadn't seen me all day.
However many times I see this dementia short-term memory loss in action I am STILL amazed at this. It is such a strange concept - that she had no memory of that previous 5 minutes.

*  Hula Dance. Yujiro has talked to the NHK Culture School hula teacher and that class only has a performance event one every few years. This sounds much better for Okaasan. The Culture School is in the city center and links directly inside from the subway station. Small class. Friendly teacher. When the latest round of dentist visits is over we'll try and get her interested in going.


*  Okaasan told the dental nurse: "I stopped going to the other hula class because they bullied me!".......our old friend Paranoia. Of course they didn't bully her, but Okaasan's insecurities about being able to learn the new dances transformed into a negative feeling about the group...and now she is convinced that they bullied her. Sad.


*  While she was out yesterday we did a big clean up in her room, hence 30 plus pairs of pants to wash....and various old food packets. Thankfully the pants are pee incontinence only, hasn't been any poo for a few months now....


This weekend is a 3 day holiday weekend in Japan...again. Gorgeous weather. He and I escaped to see amovie on Friday night (Glee cos we are Gleeks), and a lot of shopping, and stuff-that-needs-doing and TV and cats....and Sapporo is gripped with the news that bears have been seen in the city. In the city, near the shrine and near the library! Sadly an acorn shortage is driving the bears in search of food, and Japan always seems to have a shoot-to-kill policy when wild animals enter urban areas - so I think these bears (one cub and mother? two cubs?) will be dead soon.


Today I am going to clear out the shed before winter and go to a kids' concert called The Imagine Music Festival. The old friend who sponsored me for my Permanent Resident visa in Japan invited me. My English classroom is called "Imagine", so it is all very fitting. October 9th is John Lennon's birthday - he would have been 61 years old today...


And finally...shh!!! Look! This is flowering outside the front door! Shhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Tea pots and soggy cake?

This is a carrot cake.
A little singed on top.
Errr...it hit the roof of the oven and collapsed....
The center feels a bit...soggy.....
I've surfed the Internet for helpful for hints about how to mount a Cake Rescue with the help of icing...and I think it'll be ok......
The Battle of the Scones will start early tomorrow morning.


Meanwhile I did a final furious 2 hours in the garden to make it look a little presentable for the 14? 16? students who may come for English Tea Party tomorrow afternoon. Three rose bushes are flowering and another one might be tempted to flower if I go out and wave the hairdryer near it...


I feel a bit nervous to be honest. I have lovely students. But inviting them to my home makes me nervous. I have cleaned the entrance hall and the toilet and I HOPE nobody gets any further than that!
Last student on Friday afternoon was chatting about her roses and garden, then she whipped out her cell phone to show my pictures of it - gorgeous! She should be inviting ME to look at her garden...I feel she (and others) will be disappointed.
But, it isn't meant to be an Open Garden contest - just a casual, relaxing "Thankyou" party to all the students who stayed with me over 2 years of cancelled classes and hollow-eyed teacher.


Meanwhile...on Planet Okaasan.
We discovered why she had bought a nice, glass tea pot recently...and then not one...but TWO tea pot covers for it. 


We had thought it was strange, because she only drinks powdered, very special Japanese green tea. The tea pot - from a specialist shop downtown - is designed so the central net holds the tea leaves and you can see them opening up in the water. I'd removed it - okay stolen it - from her room and started using it in my classroom.


I noticed when I was downtown a week back that these pots and covers are the shop's front display this month - along with a friendly sales lady who undoubtedly fished Okaasan in to look and then buy.


Then this week we discovered why she had bought pot and two covers...she thought it would be useful for taking iced water to hula dance classes!
(which also explains why we found the tea pot in the freezer once...)
Of course, it's a tea pot, and even in a cover, would be totally unsuitable for taking along in a bag of stuff to hula classes.
I bought a 500ml PET Bottle cover with strap from the camping shop and Yujiro gave that to Okaasan...and we hope...that will be ok.


All pretty boring really - but reminds us that the strange things Okaasan does have some kind of logic to her - it might be misplaced and wrong...but somewhere there is a reason for her actions.


Latest on the dental work - she complained 30 seconds before dinner tonight was served that her gum felt swollen and that she wouldn't be eating anything.
This time it was HIS cooking and frustration.
She picked her way through the salad.
Then Yujiro tried to get her to take one of the antibiotics for the swelling. Adament refusal.


Shan't eat. It'll get better that way.
Sigh.....Back to that then.


Anyway....tomorrow I shall bake scones and they will be a wonderful success - and the sun shall shine and the English Tea Party will be delightful! ;-))

Take your meds, take your meds, take your meds, take...

Okaasan needs to take some meds.
And HE is the person who is going to get her to do it.
I am staying well out of it, at a safe distance.


The Thursday trip to the dentist revealed that there IS swelling and some problems with recent dental work and the dentist recommended anti-biotics and pain killers if the pain stays bad.

Katsuzo Nishi - Okaasan's health guru...

Well, we all know what Okaasan thinks about Western/Modern medicine!
For the past week she has been doing her predictable: No eating! Nishi-sensei's teachings tell us that the body heals itself if you don't eat!
Strange...because SOMEONE has been burning rice and miso in the saucepans at lunchtime - and I don't think it's the cats.
But she didn't come to eat dinner with us, or if she came she drank a bit of soup and nibbled on a pickle. Been nice actually, just having dinner without her (I AM a mean Oyomesan!!).


But, anyway. Dentist's orders.
Take these meds 3 times a day. After food.
Problem: She only eats twice a day...at the best of times.
It's ok! Drink some milk in the morning and then the pills!
Err...milk...she doesn't drink it.


So. Yujiro is displaying amazing patience and kindness - and gently encouragingly edging Okaasan into taking her meds. He got them down her last night after dinner (a few spoons of rice and some soup), and he got them down her again this morning (with yogurt, which as we all know isn't milk.....).
He is doing great - I stand in awe.


Left up to me? I'd probably wrap Okaasan in a towel, hold her head back, slip the meds in and clamp her jaws shut...like I try and fail to do with the cats.


Anyway - glad the dentist confirmed that there is a real problem. I was beginning to wonder how much pain Okaasan really felt and whether her not-eating-habit was just becoming a default response to invitations to sit down for family dinner.
And let's hope the Western/Modern Medicine does the trick.


And.....in other news...


And THIS is the really important news!
I have found my Australian beach hideaway for September. Just went crazy with the credit card online this morning.....the holiday I have been promising myself for the past 2 years...thru all the shit at hospitals and funerals and house-clearings and airports and stuff....ONE DAY I WILL GET AWAY FROM THIS AND SIT ON A BEACH.

Here is my beach hotel...Melaleuca Resort Palm Cove.

Expensive - yes.
 Necessary - Yes! 
Wonderful? Oh YES!!!
I've got some money coming (finally) from Dad and Jane's wills...and this, this my friends, will be how I am spending some of it. 
Dad and Jane would love this place and I am sure they will be there with me in spirit watching sunsets and dipping their toes in the pool....

Roll on September....................................

Summer blues again?

No-show at Hula dance yesterday.
Don't know why.
And Okaasan looked kind of down and stressed when she came back from a late afternoon walk to the shops.
SO down and tired that I even made her a cup of instant coffee and sat there in the kitchen chatting about weather and cats and garden.....at dinner she was withdrawn and didn't talk much, we worked hard to brighten her up and get a few smiles and laughs.


But I think....it maybe the hula dance class performance stress reappearing again. That they are learning a new dance for the show in June and she can't remember the new steps, so the class is a stress and so she doesn't go...and so....and so...she'll savage the Oyomesan's ankles very soon.
That's what I fear!


Coincidentally I was looking back thru this blog to last June and July trying to see when my roses blossomed last year (planning an English Garden Tea Party for students this year) - and I noticed that Okaasan wasn't a happy camper early last summer...lots of coming home late, confusions, suspicions etc.
Could it be the hula pressure building again?


This morning Yujiro got Okaasan up and bathed and ready for the 9 am dentist trip again...it took her ages and ages...but they just about got out the door.

Mission Dentist II

Dentist, Part II.
Success!


We planned it carefully. Got Okaasan all geed up to have a bath and come down town to meet me in her favorite coffee shop at lunchtime, so that I could take her to the clinic nearby.
I finished morning class just before 12 and got to the coffee shop - bursting at the seams with young office workers on lunchbreaks. And Okaasan came from home and met me as planned. But didn't eat or drink anything.


It was a beautiful day : the first real spring day in Sapporo. Crowds were out in Odori Park having picnics among the flower beds. We ambled gently through the park naming every single flower (I notice that like small children Okaasan seemingly has a need to check and name things around her) and got up to the clinic with time to spare.
I gave Okaasan over to the loving, sweet care of the dental nurses and Tsukuda-sensei. They are SO sweet to her and she laps up that kind of attention.
50 minutes later she emerged looking a bit tired and flushed - and hungry, since she hadn't eaten at all today (following the mantra that "you shouldn't eat before the dentist").


The dentist says he is going to try and make a false tooth for the front gap, but as the surrounding teeth and bone is not so strong, he isn't sure how it'll go. Anyway - I am so happy she is GOING to a dentist and having attention. We made the next appointment. He said her blood pressure is normal but her heart rate is quite high...nerves I guess.


But. Done! Success!


I took her straight across the road to Grand Hotel. Starbucks Coffee? No, just sandwiches. Hotel Coffee Shop? hmmm, no...just Western food. 4th floor Japanese Restaurant? Oh YES! The cheapest set lunch was sold out - so Okaasan and I sat in the quiet splendor of the Grand Hotel Japanese restaurant and she ate a Y2,300 lunch set and I ate chocolate cake.
We chatted and looked at the garden. The waiting staff bowed and scraped. It was all so gentle and nice. Yujiro doesn't do this kind of restaurant - he's a bar food and noodles kind of guy.
But sometimes...it is just REALLY nice to have lunch in a good place. I am sure Okaasan loved it, she hasn't been to this kind of place for ages. The attention from the staff is excellent and Okaasan could pick her way through all the beautifully presented, traditional food and explain it all to me.


Afterwards we walked back down to the park and the shopping area and she decided to stay downtown. I made my work excuses and retreated back here to my classroom.


Big success. Dentist and Okaasan/Oyomesan Bonding Time.
Life doesn't have to be all dirty laundry surprises and missed mealtimes.


:-)

Let's dentist!!!

Dentist. Done.
Success.

There's a promotion video on CNN at the moment for a program about Alzheimer's - with someone saying "They look like your parents, but you are looking after them like your child..." and that's what yesterday felt like - taking a little girl to the dentist.


But MOST luckily I didn't have to do it alone as the weather was terrible and Yujiro had no work. So we made a family outing of it: Let's Dentist!! (this is an in-Japan joke, with the Japanese habit of putting nouns with "Let's" to create oddities such as "Let's tennis!").


Anyway. In the morning I suggested to Okaasan that she have a bath before going out, she wasn't too enthusiastic and actually surprised when I mentioned that she usually has a bath once a week before hula...so her last bath WAS a week ago.
Really? A week ago? Me?
So odd this. In her mind she's had a bath sometime recently. It must be odd that people tell you that what you are thinking is not so at all. I know I had a shower yesterday...but if someone told me I hadn't...what would I think?


I did family lunch and then we got ready to go out in the spring storm. Drove downtown. I dropped Okaasan and Yujiro off at the dentists and went to park the car.

Also I went to pick up yet another flower-pattern shawl thing that Okaasan bought a few days ago and asked the shop to keep for her - when she dies I am going to inherit lots and lots of these red/pink flower shawls. She sees one - she buys it.
And yet again it was a PING! moment: Okaasan's memory surprisingly in complete working order. "Where is the shop where you bought this shawl? "
"Oh, it's just when you go thru the doors of the underground shopping street, second on the left...."
And it was. Second on the left. She remembered completely ok. Such a small point really, but still noticeable to us.


Yujiro and I sat in the dentist's waiting room while our child Okaasan was in the dentists' chair. Then the dentist came out to say: a small part of the fallen tooth root was still there, but maybe can't be got out and the teeth each side of it are so weak that he doubts a bridge would work, maybe cementing a fake tooth to them would be possible.
All of that might happen next week....if we can get Okaasan to come again.
The dentist and Yujiro talked about it, then the dentist went back to talk to Okaasan about it. Lots of chat followed. 
Finally she emerged all smiley and bowing to the dental nurses etc - no basic problems which is good. If she  doesn't want a fake tooth fitted that's fine - I reckon at the age of 80 you can decide against nasty dental treatment if you don't want it.


So we emerged into the spring typhoon and took Okaasan to a Tully's for coffee and chat. Then home.


So. All went well. Not sure whether she'll want to go again next week...but for now it is enough.


Next? Time to tackle the toilet accidents. Let's Diapers!


***  and just to end on an "Awwww" moment.....we have finally finished remodelling my English classroom signboard. Yujiro de-rusted and repainted it. Ordered up special magnet sheets and traced them, and cut them...and.....finished!!!

Chichi thinks the green matches his eyes.

Talking toilet.

No - not a Japanese Super Loo that chats while you squat..although I expect that exists somewhere.

He and I - sitting talking about "What to do with Okaasan's toilet situation?"
Strange conversation to be having.
Prompted by yet another "accident" on the toilet floor mat last night. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and I could hear Okaasan taking a looong time in the toilet and using up loads of paper...I found it this morning...the mat anyway...haven't found the clothes yet because we can't get into her room while she is there.

So. What to do?
This is going beyond the occasional accident that Yujiro could explain away by saying Okaasan had accidents when she couldn't stand up and walk to the toilet in time.
From Internet searches I am guessing we have two problems; a) elderly people lose power in the bowel muscles and the shit becomes softer and b) dementia sufferers don't remember and act on the "must go to the toilet soon urge".

It's time to move onto diapers - called rehabili  (rehabilitation) pads in Japan - and a special trash box in the toilet and her room so we can throw away the soiled pads easily.

But how to approach this topic with her?

I am all for getting the nurse at the health check hospital to do it in May. Maybe send a letter to the hospital now outlining the situation and asking them to have a private, gentle chat with Okaasan when she goes for the free health check. Then having the diapers and trash boxes in place. Let the professionals give Okaasan some semblance of privacy on the matter.

Yujiro thinks HE can talk to Okaasan about this topic and suggest the time has come for diapers and toilet trash box etc. He looks pretty depressed about it, as you can imagine - it won't be an easy conversation to have with your own mother.

I feel like I'm trying to a balancing act: trying to support him in this new strange role in his life, but trying to push him to do what I feel is best for all of us. I WANT the outside world (doctor/health center/care people) to know about Okaasan and our situation - but Yujiro wants to take care of it all himself....for love/guilt/pride reasons?

And so. aghhhh...............

Whatever we do it'll probably have to wait a while; until we've got the Fallen Out Tooth situation dealt with. I made an appointment for Okaasan for next Monday afternoon and prepped my dentist about her aversion to modern/Western medicine ideas....so we'll see if we can get her to go to THAT first.
Yujiro will be working as a cycle taxi driver - so it'll be my responsibility to get her ready and out to the dentist.
She seems fine - yesterday she actually went downtown to meet Yujiro (he'd forgotten to give her money for lunch) and she ate dinner with us in the evening, seemed a bit quiet...but basically ok.
The dentist visit isn't essential of course - but if the tooth has fallen out I am guessing the gum isn't healthy and there could easily be infection which will spread.

So, first Tooth....then we'll tackle Toilet.
Or Yujiro will. I feel a bit helpless - I don't have the language ability and I don't have the close relationship with Okaasan to be able to talk about such a personal topic with her.

Falling, falling..........

Okaasan's tooth fell out yesterday.
Top front.


She's had a crooked, nasty-brown colored tooth there for ages and yesterday afternoon she suddenly said to Yujiro: "did I eat something hard? My tooth has fallen out!".


So now we have the saga of will she/won't she go to a dentist.


Over a year ago she was complaining of tooth pains, so we finally got her to go to a local clinic. She went twice, but when the dentist said he was going to give her an anesthetic injection Okaasan decided with all HER medical-wisdom that it wasn't necessary. So she stopped going.


And now. Occasional pain you quickly forget is one thing, a gaping gap when you talk or smile is another. And we haven't found the tooth itself yet. Did she swallow it? Is it under the newspaper mountain?


She didn't eat dinner last night, returning predictably to Guru Nishi-sensei's "don't-eat-and-your-body-will-heal-itself" mantra. But she did agree that a dentist should have a look to make sure there is no infection. 
Friday starts a series of public holidays in Japan so we'll try and get her along to my dentist quickly.


AND!!!


The other falling...


Yesterday I went back to my indulgence: woodchip sauna bath salon, after a break of almost 6 months.
And it was too hot for me. And I almost fainted! Had to be rescued by the salon staff armed with iced towels etc.


It was scary actually. I haven't fainted in years, not counting menopausal dizziness from standing up too quickly.
After 10 minutes buried up to my neck in woodchips I felt a bit hot, after 15 uncomfortable. By the time the facepack went on...not too good. Got out...into the shower and felt dizzy, into the locker room and it was spinning.
I luckily got out to the reception area and lounge - "feeling bad!!! bad!!" to the staff, and just as my legs went like lead and I felt I was falling the staff steered me into a massage chair, pulled the curtains and brought me  round with iced towels and water.


YIKES! Scary. 
I canceled the much-longed for Facial treatment and came home gently. Felt ok at home, but stayed off the beer/wine.


Hmm. I hope it was just because I was too hot. Maybe a menopausal hot-flush came on strong at the same time too. New customers usually only do 10 mins., but as I am an old customer the staff and I thought 20 mins. was ok. I guess not.


* More double incontinence Sunday. Well, we FOUND it on Sunday. Three pairs of soiled pajamas in Okaasan's room. Thankgoodness for washing machines.