She is sitting up and drinking tea.....
Looks like she's survived again....
Dear Son just sent me a photo on my smart phone...
INDESTRUCTIBLE.
Tuesday, 16 May 2017
And waiting...
Waiting for the miracle self-healing thing to work.
She is still on her side on the carpet, under a heated blanket.
We are giving her water to drink, and yesterday managed to get her to eat a small dried persimmon and a bit of a rice ball.
Interesting. The whole "I'm sick so I don't eat" mantra was less yesterday. I put a nicely warmed up rice ball on a plate and put it 10 cm from her nose..
"What's that? I ate, didn't I? I ate dinner, didn't I?"
Really, she had no idea whether she'd eaten or not - and once the food was there within easy reach and she could put some in her mouth - she did :-)
But we are changing her diapers because she hasn't sat upright or walked since Saturday night. Now it is Tuesday morning. Diaper change was fairly easy. She just lay there and let us do it - a messy job...but we never had a baby, so this is our shared couple-experience...
By coincidence: last night student came to class and told me that over the recent public holiday her 81 year old mother had tried out a family member's balance ball...at 11 pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...and lost control of the ball - falling 5 steps down the house stairs!!
She was badly winded and in pain. But finally managed, with help, to stand and walk to her bed. Next morning she couldn't move at all and was taken to hospital. Broken lumbar. Is now in hospital 3 weeks and wearing a corset.....
Hoping......it isn't this. But I wouldn't be surprised.....
I told Dear Son this story and we talked a bit.
He said that if she isn't moving any more by tomorrow...he will take other steps...
goood.
Waiting....
She is still on her side on the carpet, under a heated blanket.
We are giving her water to drink, and yesterday managed to get her to eat a small dried persimmon and a bit of a rice ball.
Interesting. The whole "I'm sick so I don't eat" mantra was less yesterday. I put a nicely warmed up rice ball on a plate and put it 10 cm from her nose..
"What's that? I ate, didn't I? I ate dinner, didn't I?"
Really, she had no idea whether she'd eaten or not - and once the food was there within easy reach and she could put some in her mouth - she did :-)
But we are changing her diapers because she hasn't sat upright or walked since Saturday night. Now it is Tuesday morning. Diaper change was fairly easy. She just lay there and let us do it - a messy job...but we never had a baby, so this is our shared couple-experience...
By coincidence: last night student came to class and told me that over the recent public holiday her 81 year old mother had tried out a family member's balance ball...at 11 pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...and lost control of the ball - falling 5 steps down the house stairs!!
She was badly winded and in pain. But finally managed, with help, to stand and walk to her bed. Next morning she couldn't move at all and was taken to hospital. Broken lumbar. Is now in hospital 3 weeks and wearing a corset.....
Hoping......it isn't this. But I wouldn't be surprised.....
I told Dear Son this story and we talked a bit.
He said that if she isn't moving any more by tomorrow...he will take other steps...
goood.
Waiting....
Sunday, 14 May 2017
Mystery fall
Okaasan fell in the kitchen last night.
We think she is ok. But who knows? 86 year old, fell back hard on her bum and back - finally crawled to her sleeping area and has been there for the last 24 hours. Wearing diapers. Refusing (as usual) food. Can't really sit up without moaning about pain....
The usual in this family. Leave her be for a few days. Just give her some water. Check on her a bit. Leave her there. On the carpet staring at the TV.
If it was my parent she wouldn't be left there.
But she isn't and this is her choice, and the agreement of her son.
It's worked before....so we wait to see again.
The awful thing is: I have a feeling this fall may have been my fault.
:-(
I don't know. I was upstairs switching off my TV. I'd just called Okaasan to dinner.
Maybe she was heading to or from the toilet....and just to the left of the kitchen door are some car floor mats...under a heavy poinsettia pot plant. The mats are grey...the kitchen carpet is grey.
Hard to see the change in surface...did Okaasan trip over the edge of the mats?
They aren't right by the kitchen door....about half a meter to the left....they've been there a week or so - too cold to risk a poinsettia outside.
All I heard from upstairs was a loud crashing sound....and when I opened the kitchen door Okaasan was on her back behind it....groaning......
Dear Son was at work. I had to deal with it. Cushions, blankets, lots of positive chat etc to get Okaasan to check things were not a crises.....and then to get her to crawl back into her room. After 40 mins she did it.
And she's been there ever since.
So. We'll see.
* I was going to write about my question to a lawyer about what to do with Okaasan if Dear Son suddenly dies......but I'll keep that for another post.
We think she is ok. But who knows? 86 year old, fell back hard on her bum and back - finally crawled to her sleeping area and has been there for the last 24 hours. Wearing diapers. Refusing (as usual) food. Can't really sit up without moaning about pain....
The usual in this family. Leave her be for a few days. Just give her some water. Check on her a bit. Leave her there. On the carpet staring at the TV.
If it was my parent she wouldn't be left there.
But she isn't and this is her choice, and the agreement of her son.
It's worked before....so we wait to see again.
The awful thing is: I have a feeling this fall may have been my fault.
:-(
I don't know. I was upstairs switching off my TV. I'd just called Okaasan to dinner.
Maybe she was heading to or from the toilet....and just to the left of the kitchen door are some car floor mats...under a heavy poinsettia pot plant. The mats are grey...the kitchen carpet is grey.
Hard to see the change in surface...did Okaasan trip over the edge of the mats?
They aren't right by the kitchen door....about half a meter to the left....they've been there a week or so - too cold to risk a poinsettia outside.
All I heard from upstairs was a loud crashing sound....and when I opened the kitchen door Okaasan was on her back behind it....groaning......
Dear Son was at work. I had to deal with it. Cushions, blankets, lots of positive chat etc to get Okaasan to check things were not a crises.....and then to get her to crawl back into her room. After 40 mins she did it.
And she's been there ever since.
So. We'll see.
* I was going to write about my question to a lawyer about what to do with Okaasan if Dear Son suddenly dies......but I'll keep that for another post.
Wednesday, 3 May 2017
Role reversal
Sooooo lucky to be part of a team: the Carers.
Now is a public holiday time in Japan, Golden Week...several public holidays all near eachother, and if you are lucky you get a whole 9 days of holiday! This year - I am. Amazing.
But he is now working. Bike taxi. Special customer. Afternoons and evenings. For the next 26 days.
So our roles have reversed. After all the home care he has done for me and my knee - now is his turn to be out in the world. And I am keeping Okaasan and home, cats and life ticking over.
I'm happy to have a quiet week close to home. Gentle exercise with the knee. A lot of house cleaning, garden prepping, Breaking Bad seasons on Netflix....cherry blossoms...time with friends.
Okaasan is good. She's gone walking alone. Another trip on the subway and home again safely. Will this continue? Last summer shuddered to a halt, with location confusion and a major loss of confidence. WE never knew why. So we started taking her out ourselves. But this spring, she appears to be ok again.
26 days on Okaasan duty.....26 nights of lunches or dinners.....with Okaasan. Isn't a great prospect. She is so silent at meals now. But anyway....
She appears fine. A little more confused about whether it is morning or evening, a little more confused about taking our post into her room - I found her sorting thru packets of free cat food the other day (!!!) and a little more repetition of action - the endless window checks, bag checks, bits of paper checks...
But fine. I think.
The treasure trove of photo albums are here upstairs. I so want to give them to her and start chatting about their contents. But I do understand that this has to wait until the brother moved/house sold story is active. We hope the house will sell soon, the agent seems to think it will - and then once that is happening and she knows about it - we can give her the albums.
Role Reversal.
Looking at those Okaasan and Dear Son photographs of a long time ago, made me think.
In those days she was planning his food, entertainment, money management, clothes, personal safety.
And now - 50 years later....he is doing it all for her.
Even down to the toilet accidents and diapers.
Nobody wants to depend on their children to look after them. But it is the safety net that anyone with a child has - hopefully.
I have no children.
It makes me think of MY safety net. Now I am 56. When I am 86, who will be taking care of me? I have a vague plan that I will be back in England by then - Dear Son having passed to the big football game with beer in the sky - and I will be in a care home....
I guess.
Now is a public holiday time in Japan, Golden Week...several public holidays all near eachother, and if you are lucky you get a whole 9 days of holiday! This year - I am. Amazing.
But he is now working. Bike taxi. Special customer. Afternoons and evenings. For the next 26 days.
So our roles have reversed. After all the home care he has done for me and my knee - now is his turn to be out in the world. And I am keeping Okaasan and home, cats and life ticking over.
I'm happy to have a quiet week close to home. Gentle exercise with the knee. A lot of house cleaning, garden prepping, Breaking Bad seasons on Netflix....cherry blossoms...time with friends.
Okaasan is good. She's gone walking alone. Another trip on the subway and home again safely. Will this continue? Last summer shuddered to a halt, with location confusion and a major loss of confidence. WE never knew why. So we started taking her out ourselves. But this spring, she appears to be ok again.
26 days on Okaasan duty.....26 nights of lunches or dinners.....with Okaasan. Isn't a great prospect. She is so silent at meals now. But anyway....
She appears fine. A little more confused about whether it is morning or evening, a little more confused about taking our post into her room - I found her sorting thru packets of free cat food the other day (!!!) and a little more repetition of action - the endless window checks, bag checks, bits of paper checks...
But fine. I think.
The treasure trove of photo albums are here upstairs. I so want to give them to her and start chatting about their contents. But I do understand that this has to wait until the brother moved/house sold story is active. We hope the house will sell soon, the agent seems to think it will - and then once that is happening and she knows about it - we can give her the albums.
Role Reversal.
Looking at those Okaasan and Dear Son photographs of a long time ago, made me think.
In those days she was planning his food, entertainment, money management, clothes, personal safety.
And now - 50 years later....he is doing it all for her.
Even down to the toilet accidents and diapers.
Nobody wants to depend on their children to look after them. But it is the safety net that anyone with a child has - hopefully.
I have no children.
It makes me think of MY safety net. Now I am 56. When I am 86, who will be taking care of me? I have a vague plan that I will be back in England by then - Dear Son having passed to the big football game with beer in the sky - and I will be in a care home....
I guess.
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