Okaasan was 89 years old last week.
In past years we've had trips out to crab restaurants etc - this year was very different, for planned and unplanned reasons.
I was not free at all - 3 days of tour guiding back to back - fun and challenging for me to show Hokkaido off to a lovely family group from Canada and the Philippines. But bang on the weekend that we hoped to celebrate with Okaasan.
Dear Son went in to the care home with a pudding and some decorated cookies, which Okaasan enjoyed with him. She knew he was him, she knew it was here birthday. All well.
Hokkaido has had a crazy 10 days straight of sizzling temperatures - about 30 C. Unbelievable here. We moved downstairs to sleep, leaving the front door open etc. Most homes here, and many businesses, don't actually have air con. So prolonged heat is hard.
But also hard to take Okaasan in her wheelchair outside...
But next day the care home called.
Okaasan had a fever, the doctor had visited...which of course is the main reason we chose this particularl care home. It is attached to a hospital and a doctor is never far away.
Dear Son went in again...Okaasan was so so.
Then yesterday we went together. The heat had broken and we hoped to do a wheelchair walk. Took in 3 pink T shirts I'd bought for her.
But fever again. In bed. Quiet. Not eating so much.
"What food does she really like, if we can tempt her with something?" asked the staff.
!!!! crab...gyoza...aloe yogurt...pizza....
We stayed for a short time to chat to her a little. But then left her to sleep some more. The doctor will check again. Recently they've been giving her regular IV supplement nutrition....to make sure she is taking in enough.
So. Not the planned birthday celebrations. Hopefully she will feel better later this week and we can go out together. BUt now is Obon time in Japan - when families all over return to hometowns and visit graveyards to remember the ancestors. Restaurants tend to be packed.
We'll see.
Sunday, 11 August 2019
Monday, 22 July 2019
Back...with a "bang"
Almost injured Okaasan yesterday!
I bumped the wheelchair and she shot forwards and half fell into the road - screaming in pain and shock!
Me too.
Dear Son and I hauled her back into the chair and stroked her face and arms, reassuring her she was ok - praying she WAS ok...it was awful....I felt terrible...guilty as hell.
She seemed ok...maybe...but a few centimeters more she'd have been thrown face down on the pavement, or broken a leg or an arm in the fall - because she had no natural bracing-against-impact reaction. Fell like a sack of potatoes.
Happened just as we were heading back to the care home after a wheel chair push round the local streets...looking at flowers, pointing at things in shop windows. A windy day. Okaasan not very chatty...but we were doing the round.
Dear Son was walking next to the wheelchair and slightly in front - so she could see him. I was in charge of pushing - up and down the curbs - making sure to tilt the chair over steps etc. But this place looked almost flat..and I was not really focusing at walk-end...
OMG. It was awful.
The good thing was that she had forgotten about it within minutes.
But in the local shop as we bought drinks she was whole-body shaking - from the cold? from delayed shock? We didn't know. So we rushed her back to the care home and staff checked her vitals. All seemed ok. She could stand, move her legs. Heart rate was usual...they will monitor and let us now if there is any result from the incident.
Oh God. I hope not. It would be terrible that I am the cause of injury...
So. There we are. Mid-summer...that's us.
VERY sorry I haven't written for ages.
My life is a whirl of teaching and tour guiding. The latter particularly is busy of course with Hokkaido holiday season. People from all over the world here to see flower fields, blue pond, mountains and volcano scenery.
It's hard for me to turn down teaching work too - because the guide job is a feast or famine work situation. And a couple of big writing projects are hovering too.
Dear Son visits Okaasan every week. I didn't for almost a month...
Apparently she is ok, but the staff are worried that she is eating less. She is not so friendly to other residents...and walks a bit.
It's her birthday next month. Is a restaurant visit a good idea? Easy, quick eating place with good toilet access. Have to find that. She also needs more summer style clothing.
Have to find the time to do that.
I bumped the wheelchair and she shot forwards and half fell into the road - screaming in pain and shock!
Me too.
Dear Son and I hauled her back into the chair and stroked her face and arms, reassuring her she was ok - praying she WAS ok...it was awful....I felt terrible...guilty as hell.
She seemed ok...maybe...but a few centimeters more she'd have been thrown face down on the pavement, or broken a leg or an arm in the fall - because she had no natural bracing-against-impact reaction. Fell like a sack of potatoes.
Happened just as we were heading back to the care home after a wheel chair push round the local streets...looking at flowers, pointing at things in shop windows. A windy day. Okaasan not very chatty...but we were doing the round.
Dear Son was walking next to the wheelchair and slightly in front - so she could see him. I was in charge of pushing - up and down the curbs - making sure to tilt the chair over steps etc. But this place looked almost flat..and I was not really focusing at walk-end...
OMG. It was awful.
The good thing was that she had forgotten about it within minutes.
But in the local shop as we bought drinks she was whole-body shaking - from the cold? from delayed shock? We didn't know. So we rushed her back to the care home and staff checked her vitals. All seemed ok. She could stand, move her legs. Heart rate was usual...they will monitor and let us now if there is any result from the incident.
Oh God. I hope not. It would be terrible that I am the cause of injury...
So. There we are. Mid-summer...that's us.
VERY sorry I haven't written for ages.
My life is a whirl of teaching and tour guiding. The latter particularly is busy of course with Hokkaido holiday season. People from all over the world here to see flower fields, blue pond, mountains and volcano scenery.
It's hard for me to turn down teaching work too - because the guide job is a feast or famine work situation. And a couple of big writing projects are hovering too.
Dear Son visits Okaasan every week. I didn't for almost a month...
Apparently she is ok, but the staff are worried that she is eating less. She is not so friendly to other residents...and walks a bit.
It's her birthday next month. Is a restaurant visit a good idea? Easy, quick eating place with good toilet access. Have to find that. She also needs more summer style clothing.
Have to find the time to do that.
Tuesday, 4 June 2019
Mind not muscle?
Okaasan really is stronger than we thought - it's the brain power that is lacking.
Yesterday at the care home we found her in an ordinary chair by the TV.
She needed a toilet trip, so the staff brought the walking frame and guided Okaasan to stand up from the chair and...holding onto the table... to shuffle sideways and and shuffle some more into the frame.
She really could do it. It was surprising.
But she doesn't do it of her own volition. Each movement - hand grasp for support and foot movement - was guided, She just waited to be told what to do next.
I guess it's a bit of both. We, and care home staff, have over-supported her and she has got used to that and lost the power to make a decision about what to do next.
Anyway. Good visit.
We walked to the temple gardens with the wheelchair and had an ice cream in a convenience store.Shared some laughs.
I haven't been to see her in weeks...but of course she doesn't know that. Just smiley and happy to see me....and him.
Onwards into summer :-)
Yesterday at the care home we found her in an ordinary chair by the TV.
She needed a toilet trip, so the staff brought the walking frame and guided Okaasan to stand up from the chair and...holding onto the table... to shuffle sideways and and shuffle some more into the frame.
She really could do it. It was surprising.
But she doesn't do it of her own volition. Each movement - hand grasp for support and foot movement - was guided, She just waited to be told what to do next.
I guess it's a bit of both. We, and care home staff, have over-supported her and she has got used to that and lost the power to make a decision about what to do next.
Anyway. Good visit.
We walked to the temple gardens with the wheelchair and had an ice cream in a convenience store.Shared some laughs.
I haven't been to see her in weeks...but of course she doesn't know that. Just smiley and happy to see me....and him.
Onwards into summer :-)
Wednesday, 22 May 2019
2 years on...
Facebook helpfully reminded me that in May 2017 Okaasan fell down in the kitchen and ended up by November in the current care home.
I was surprised it was only two years. I felt so much longer...so many things have happened.
Now her room is a bright and welcoming English classroom, where students are beginning to settle in and the cats are free to come and go. HER room is at the top of a building downtown - with kind care workers to assist her every move, regular meals and a big TV....loving family visits every week.
I think it really was for the best. The few months after the fall with all the hospital treatments and the awfulness of being tied to a bed and changes in medication - that was grim.
But by late summer and into autumn she finally was physically and mentally stronger, and our care home choice was good. I wish she could see a garden from the windows - not just a cityscape, however I try to tell myself that her focus now is mainly on the TV or the cup of drink in front of her.
We went for Mother's Day, took a pink scarf as a present. Unfortunately, she had an itchy back for some reason and she was complaining about that constantly - the scarf was a momentary concern....but we had tea and snacks with her and Dear Son turned on the charm chat which made her laugh and relax.
The care home doctor has said that she is able to do MORE walking that she currently does, and should be got up out of the wheelchair more and urged to walk....the staff don't really have the time for that, although she walks on the 3 times a week day service visits.
And.
I guess I will have more time...because the old students/friend who has been in hospital for over a year with a brain wasting disease - she died at the weekend. I attended the wake - with a room of crying bus drivers and guides (she was a bus guide) and I have other stuff to do in connection with her death - helping another foreign friend write a letter to her family.
I am happy she has finally died. To see someone, once so active, just in a bed unresponsive for so long. It was hard. Her mother doesn't even live in this city and had to take a 3 hour train journey to visit her.
In the last week her condition became worse and many friends went to say goodbye. On the morning of the day she died I had dropped off a clean bed towel.
Visiting that hospital and walking in the fields of the agricultural college nearby have been part of my routine for over a year. So now I can turn my energy to Okaasan more and help her to enjoy the summer season.
I was surprised it was only two years. I felt so much longer...so many things have happened.
Now her room is a bright and welcoming English classroom, where students are beginning to settle in and the cats are free to come and go. HER room is at the top of a building downtown - with kind care workers to assist her every move, regular meals and a big TV....loving family visits every week.
I think it really was for the best. The few months after the fall with all the hospital treatments and the awfulness of being tied to a bed and changes in medication - that was grim.
But by late summer and into autumn she finally was physically and mentally stronger, and our care home choice was good. I wish she could see a garden from the windows - not just a cityscape, however I try to tell myself that her focus now is mainly on the TV or the cup of drink in front of her.
We went for Mother's Day, took a pink scarf as a present. Unfortunately, she had an itchy back for some reason and she was complaining about that constantly - the scarf was a momentary concern....but we had tea and snacks with her and Dear Son turned on the charm chat which made her laugh and relax.
The care home doctor has said that she is able to do MORE walking that she currently does, and should be got up out of the wheelchair more and urged to walk....the staff don't really have the time for that, although she walks on the 3 times a week day service visits.
And.
I guess I will have more time...because the old students/friend who has been in hospital for over a year with a brain wasting disease - she died at the weekend. I attended the wake - with a room of crying bus drivers and guides (she was a bus guide) and I have other stuff to do in connection with her death - helping another foreign friend write a letter to her family.
I am happy she has finally died. To see someone, once so active, just in a bed unresponsive for so long. It was hard. Her mother doesn't even live in this city and had to take a 3 hour train journey to visit her.
In the last week her condition became worse and many friends went to say goodbye. On the morning of the day she died I had dropped off a clean bed towel.
Visiting that hospital and walking in the fields of the agricultural college nearby have been part of my routine for over a year. So now I can turn my energy to Okaasan more and help her to enjoy the summer season.
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