Happy... Birthday?

 Okaasan was 91 years old this week.

And "celebrated" this in a hospital bed, attached to machines that are feeding her and monitoring her body functions.

We visited with a wonderful, cheerful array of helium balloons, which she could see and understand. She smiled, cried a little, gestured to us with her mouth as usual. No actual words. For 15 mins we sat bedside, put on the TV in her room for some familiar background noise and stroked her hair.

2021

In past years we've taken her out for a crab lunch or dinner, fought to keep her intake of sake within limits and had fun. Last year it was decorated biscuits at the care home for a short visit.

2020

WHAT to do for someone's birthday in this situation was a problem. We decided on fun helium balloons, because we can't do flowers/food/drink. At first the hospital said "OK", but a few days later "No", by which time we'd ordered the balloons anyway.

But we got to spend 15 mins with her, and left the cute little message card from us tied to the side of her bed within easy view. And brought the balloons home...

She stopped swallowing food in June, after several coughing blood fits due to stomach ulcers and emergency trips to hospital. Now she is in another hospital, and had a feeding port put in about 3 weeks ago. We HOPE we can move her back to the care home soon...and then move again to a care home that'll look after the feeding over the long term.

Sigh.

To remember happier birthdays. I love this picture of mother and son from a 5 years ago birthday.

Okaasan loves to laugh and joke - even yesterday one of the nurses said when they playfully tap her don't-touch-the-feeding-tube mittens she laughs with them.

Happy Birthday, Okaasan.

We're not sure if we are doing the right thing with your care now...if this is what you would want...but we hope so.

2016....

Small improvements

 Tiny steps of improvement for Okaasan - the very ill/sick/frail - you take and glory in what you can.

Dear Son got called into the hospital on Friday. Okaasan had lost another tooth, and he was allowed to visit her for a short time.

She was prone in bed, the feeding port fitted and she wears mittens to stop her fiddling with the tubes.

But she smiled up at him when he talked to her and seemed...as content as you she could be in this situation.

The nurse said that the day before she had said "Good morning" - which was the first time they'd heard her speak.

And so it goes. Maybe they will keep her at this hospital for a few more weeks, then a transfer back to the hospital unit of her care home...and then....the search for a more permanent place.

have some Hokkaido calm....

In other news, a letter came from the company next door to Okaasan's house near Tokyo. The house itself is ok, but the garden is getting very overgrown and plants are sticking out in the road and into their land. Can we do something about it?

They sent photos and even recommended a local gardening company and their price for trimming it all back. Maybe it's an old school mate of the company president :-)

Anyway, of course something to fix. An old empty house for years doesn't look good for the neighborhood. Luckily in the Tokyo suburbs it's only overgrown garden to worry about - here in north Japan empty buildings and their snow accumulation cause big problems.

It was funny to look at the photographs of the old house. I think I only went there once or twice, when we attended the memorial ceremony for Dear Son's dad, and I was introduced to the family. In those days, maybe 20 years ago, Okaasan was living independently but already not cooking so much for herself and letting the housework slip. Dear Brother-in-law was still alive and working/drinking for his business.

So.

Summer 2021. Olympics starts in Tokyo, and elsewhere, next weekend. Here in Hokkaido there will be the Marathon, Race Walking and soccer games. We've all been told to watch it on tv as spectators are now banned. Covid numbers are rising, with Tokyo daily numbers now over 1,000.

It's crazy hot here. I have a lot of quiet time since I gave up social media work for the tour company. I'm still nursing the weak Achilles tendon, but I can kayak and bike. So, I sit at home quietly a lot and read books! The library finally reopened after State of Emergency and I could get the books I ordered in May.

Sweat. Hot. Getting OFF the computer soon!

.........

A small operation

 This week Okaasan will have a small operation to insert a feeding tube "port" into her upper chest area.

Dear Son went into the hospital last week and had the doctor talk about it. He got to meet Okaasan briefly, and while she was still flat in bed - she was alert and seemed to know him. We asked the hospital to move a TV into her room, so at least she has the familiar sounds of tv shows and commercials.

Sigh.

Is this what she would have wanted? I'm pretty sure not.

Are we fooling ourselves making the distinction between tubes into stomach area vs tubes into chest area?

It's a whole subject that most people don't think about, or know about beyond end of life scenes in TV shows. Should we have said differently a week or two ago? Just left her on IV feed into the arm...to get weaker and fade away?

These decisions are so hard. And of course, most of us don't discuss this with family - who are left at stressful times to make choices and decisions. Hard to know what to do.

She's been on a tube into her arm for a few weeks now...now it'll be a tube into the chest area...

HOPING there is a coming stage of end of COVID restrictions to hospital visits, that we can get her into a nice facility...get her some meeting time...wheelchair to summer sunshine time...

Ulcers - ouch!

 AND.....drum role please....we have a winner!

Okaasan has gastric ulcers. Lots of them, all over the lining of her stomach. Little white/yellow spots and nodules here and there. The blood from her mouth in the past month has been when the ulcers pop.

No wonder she stopped eating. 

A nice, human-friendly doctor at the hospital showed us the full-on color photographs of the inside of Okaasan's stomach - all pink and juicy - apart from the very obvious ulcer spots.

Kind of makes me wonder what on earth the big city hospital was looking at when he poked his probe camera down Okaasan's throat - damaging her pipes in the process - did he take the wrong turn and end up in a different part of her body??!! I'm a language teacher/writer/narrator and even I can see that these white/yellow spots around the stomach are not left over rice crackers.

So. We have an answer. Hooray!

Medicines and care should do the trick. They are getting SOME medicines into her mouth and down her throat naturally, but maybe not enough. They will try to get some food down there too, but will probably revert to the drip tube feeding...and the "port" hole just below her shoulder blades.

Time will tell. Perfect phrase for this situation. Wait and see.

Weird, random thought: I've seen inside Okaasan's brain - the scan at the mental hospital three years ago, and now I've seen inside her stomach. And Dear Son has seen far too much of his mum's rear end. Really, there are no privacy barriers left!