A year ago I was busy working to bring two Japanese documentary films for a special screening to Sapporo and struck very lucky to have the director Yuka Sekiguchi agree to come and do a short talk show about her films.
Now she is launching a group to exchange information about dementia thinking care and services.
You can find out more information on this link.
EIA Friendship Association
AND she is working on the 3rd and final film.....final? Maybe....
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
Monday, 28 March 2016
Weekend of getting out
Me and Okaasan for the weekend again.
Helped her have a bath on Saturday - well actually helped her END the bath really. I kept checking but finally opened the bathroom door...she was half floating, red-faced and holding onto the side with both hands again.
I let some of the water out. Gave her cold water to drink. Put my hand behind her back to push her upright etc. Gave a bit of friendly chat. Showed her how to put both hands on the handle to pull herself up. Waited...and 5 minutes later she managed to get out herself.
I GOT to get on DS's case about making the bath more Okaasan-friendly. I think just a plastic shelf put across the width of the bath would help. Something to rest her feet against. The bath is too long and deep for her.
Had lunch and dinner together. Wartime food conversation....
I suggested she went out in the sunshine. But she slept all afternoon, so I went out instead and left her.
Sunday I went out : kayak debut on a windy, sunny lake!
Helped her have a bath on Saturday - well actually helped her END the bath really. I kept checking but finally opened the bathroom door...she was half floating, red-faced and holding onto the side with both hands again.
I let some of the water out. Gave her cold water to drink. Put my hand behind her back to push her upright etc. Gave a bit of friendly chat. Showed her how to put both hands on the handle to pull herself up. Waited...and 5 minutes later she managed to get out herself.
I GOT to get on DS's case about making the bath more Okaasan-friendly. I think just a plastic shelf put across the width of the bath would help. Something to rest her feet against. The bath is too long and deep for her.
Had lunch and dinner together. Wartime food conversation....
I suggested she went out in the sunshine. But she slept all afternoon, so I went out instead and left her.
Sunday I went out : kayak debut on a windy, sunny lake!
And home via a bird watching cafe run by an Australian man and his wife. I met him at Christmas via friends, when he came to the party with a yummy pavlova.....but this time I felt I actually needed slightly better food...so I had the ham and cheese sandwich with a tiny pav for dessert. Oh wow.
Left lunch for Okaasan and made sure she had some money in her purse. Got home at 4 pm and found she'd just left home and gone downtown in the late afternoon chill....wearing her trousers, a sweater and a sleeveless housecoat...and a hat and gloves. The winter coat was on the hanger at home.
But she came home ok just after 6 pm. So all ok. Her walking time is coming...She's lost muscle power this winter and is still getting pretty tired. But at least she is up and out.
Friday, 25 March 2016
Escaping the day care
I'm at work.
Dear Son is in the mobile phone shop getting a good deal.
It's Wednesday and the day care worker arrives at our house for Okaasan's weekly shopping trip.
No Okaasan.
She is out. Gone.
Day care lady telephones DS in a panic: "your mother isn't in the house!"
:-)
An hour or two earlier Okaasan had said to DS: "I'll go out today!"
He'd told her:"Well, don't go out yet, the day service lady is coming at 4...so wait for her".
Yeah. Right.
Either:
1) Okaasan forgot the details of that conversation and just followed her inclination to go out out.
or
2) she thought "No way, I don't need a care worker" and decided to go out on her own.
I am guessing 2). Cos I am mean. 1) is charitable.
This is the hard overlap season. There IS still snow in Sapporo. We actually had a 5 cm snowfall the other day (see pic) and the smaller roads are still messy with ice and snow. Not ideal for Okaasan and her walks. The day care visit is reserved for another two weeks. And also Dear Son is home much more, so it is strange too that we are paying a woman to come in and take Okaasan out - DS could of course do that. But he doesn't know his ski schedule. Nobody knows the weather at the end of March.
So the day care is reserved until the 2nd week of April.
But on this Wednesday when Okaasan looked out - it was sunny and the road immediately outside the house had no snow.
So she went.
Didn't take her telephone. So couldn't be tracked. On purpose? Naah...I am crediting her with two much guile....
Day service lady and DS hunted around the local shops a little. But DS was sure Okaasan had gone off downtown on the subway...so he finally told the lady to go back to her office and that we would accept responsibility for the missing old lady.
Luckily she DID come home safely about 3 hours later. She WAS wearing her hat and coat. She hadn't fallen over. All ok.
When DS told her day service came and were surprised she was out - Okaasan just made the vague apology words, the noises you make to be polite without any real meaning behind them.
I know that once upon a time she would have been mortified to have inconvenienced someone like that. Somebody coming to the house expecting to meet her. But now she has no guilt or sense of propriety about that situation? Just that she wanted to go out. Didn't want the day care lady. So just went?
I guess so.
Focus on self and the immediate need.
I can't wait until I am in my 80s and have diminished social skills...I'll be horrible!
Dear Son is in the mobile phone shop getting a good deal.
It's Wednesday and the day care worker arrives at our house for Okaasan's weekly shopping trip.
No Okaasan.
She is out. Gone.
Day care lady telephones DS in a panic: "your mother isn't in the house!"
:-)
An hour or two earlier Okaasan had said to DS: "I'll go out today!"
He'd told her:"Well, don't go out yet, the day service lady is coming at 4...so wait for her".
Yeah. Right.
Either:
1) Okaasan forgot the details of that conversation and just followed her inclination to go out out.
or
2) she thought "No way, I don't need a care worker" and decided to go out on her own.
I am guessing 2). Cos I am mean. 1) is charitable.
This is the hard overlap season. There IS still snow in Sapporo. We actually had a 5 cm snowfall the other day (see pic) and the smaller roads are still messy with ice and snow. Not ideal for Okaasan and her walks. The day care visit is reserved for another two weeks. And also Dear Son is home much more, so it is strange too that we are paying a woman to come in and take Okaasan out - DS could of course do that. But he doesn't know his ski schedule. Nobody knows the weather at the end of March.
So the day care is reserved until the 2nd week of April.
But on this Wednesday when Okaasan looked out - it was sunny and the road immediately outside the house had no snow.
So she went.
Didn't take her telephone. So couldn't be tracked. On purpose? Naah...I am crediting her with two much guile....
Day service lady and DS hunted around the local shops a little. But DS was sure Okaasan had gone off downtown on the subway...so he finally told the lady to go back to her office and that we would accept responsibility for the missing old lady.
Luckily she DID come home safely about 3 hours later. She WAS wearing her hat and coat. She hadn't fallen over. All ok.
When DS told her day service came and were surprised she was out - Okaasan just made the vague apology words, the noises you make to be polite without any real meaning behind them.
I know that once upon a time she would have been mortified to have inconvenienced someone like that. Somebody coming to the house expecting to meet her. But now she has no guilt or sense of propriety about that situation? Just that she wanted to go out. Didn't want the day care lady. So just went?
I guess so.
Focus on self and the immediate need.
I can't wait until I am in my 80s and have diminished social skills...I'll be horrible!
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Thankyou!
Votes of support!!!
Thankyou!
In my last post I was wondering whether there is any value in writing The Boring Blog.
But your quick responses reassured me and gave me determination to continue...to the end.
Having the overly-fertile imagination I do I always imagine that end:
Okaasan one day will be on the carpet under the heater blanket watching the weather channel and won't be alive when we call her for dinner.
There will be a rush of things to organise for the funeral and maybe the useless older sibling will actually come. Then there will be a massive throwing out of pink and red and flowery old clothes.
And room cleaning. The carpet she has lived and slept on for years will have to be thrown out.
And then?
Dear Son and I will eat cheese fondue for dinner at home. The house will be too big for the two of us. We'd have to get a lodger to help pay the rent. Or move my English school to this building in a residential area. Or move?
And consider what to do with the rest of our lives....aged around 60 years old.
Move to a ski resort and ski bum until we die?
But that is all in the future. And it won't happen like that, I am sure.
Will keep writing. Promise!
Thankyou!
In my last post I was wondering whether there is any value in writing The Boring Blog.
But your quick responses reassured me and gave me determination to continue...to the end.
Having the overly-fertile imagination I do I always imagine that end:
Okaasan one day will be on the carpet under the heater blanket watching the weather channel and won't be alive when we call her for dinner.
There will be a rush of things to organise for the funeral and maybe the useless older sibling will actually come. Then there will be a massive throwing out of pink and red and flowery old clothes.
And room cleaning. The carpet she has lived and slept on for years will have to be thrown out.
And then?
Dear Son and I will eat cheese fondue for dinner at home. The house will be too big for the two of us. We'd have to get a lodger to help pay the rent. Or move my English school to this building in a residential area. Or move?
And consider what to do with the rest of our lives....aged around 60 years old.
Move to a ski resort and ski bum until we die?
But that is all in the future. And it won't happen like that, I am sure.
Will keep writing. Promise!
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