Another year over...

Getting to be a custom this.

Last night of the old year. Here - alone - with wine and chocolate, the Tv show on Japanese TV. 

Probably won't make it to midnight. Too old.

Today was good.. I went to my favorite ski resort. Enjoyed long, long runs...met various young, friendly Chinese boarders and skiers. Caught Pokemons. Did the last shopping of the year on my way home. Dear Son hopes to be home tomorrow night.

Cooked Okaasan noodles and herring and veggies. Pretty successful this year. Made sure her TV was off the shopping channel and settled her down with the singing entertainment that ushers in a new year for Japan.

So. Here she is. Survived another year of care by casual neglect with her youngest son and the foreign girlfriend. 86 years old and hanging on.

A definite decline mentally and physically this year. But hanging on. I think she is happy, mostly. I hope so!

Thankyou for reading this blog this year. It's been very patchy in 2016. A bit boring. But I keep on. I am much more relaxed now in my role of daughter in law/carer. Better at ignoring the stuff that doesn't matter. Just letting her be. Kinder? I hope so...

Happy New Year from me and the cats...

Tonight millions of Japanese will go to shrines to pray for health and happiness in 2017. I hope to be healthier in 2017 (after I've finished off all the Christmas chocolate), and I hope to do more kayaking/hiking/travelling.

So. Feeling fat and sleepy.....certainly won't make it to midnight! 

See you in 2017.

New Year food shopping

Here we are again - heading into O-shogatsu. That most Japanese of times of the year. In which I attempt to give an old lady a traditional experience, while her family are busy elsewhere.
Me and Okaasan.
Well, maybe Dear Son might make a guest appearance. January 1st? Maybe.

Today was a busy day for Okaasan.
Partially because I felt guilty after a French course dinner with old colleagues, and then a Thai lunch with a friend. And a lovely morning skiing locally.
Time to put in some Okaasan service.

First it was bath time.
Then it was hair drying and brushing time! She let me! In between trying to pick up bits of trash off the carpet....
Then it was lunch.
Then I managed to get in and vacuum her room.
Then get dressed and car ride to the supermarket.

New Year food shopping.
There is still one more day, so I decided to see what she wanted to buy, and then buy what else we need tomorrow.

First the supermarket bakery.....where Okaasan honed in on a tray piled high with chocolate scones. I was glancing around for the tray and tongs that customers use in a Japanese bakery to take your selection.
Glanced back and found Okaasan grasping a chocolate scone in her hand and peering at it closely....waving it at me: "Look! this is good!"
Shop staff far right having a fit at the sight of a customer handling food!!!
 I'm bowing and apologizing, and running round a table of pizza slices to grab the tray and tongs - and get the scone OUT of Okaasan's hands and onto the tray.

Then we set off round the supermarket....

She pushed the trolley. Chose some fruit,  some fish paste roll, some sweet rice drink and a tray of New Year sweets.
That was it.
No interest in the noodles, no interest in the traditional vegetables or the rice cake....nothing. Really amazing. In past years I can remember dissuading her (or secretly grabbing stuff out of the trolley and reshelving it) from stocking up to cook and feed a crowd of guests. Or the year I had Japanese cooking lessons and made a load of stuff, and then she went out on December 31st and bought more....This year, no interest. A few bits.


Quite a change. Really. More like shopping with a child, who only sees what they want to eat. Sweet stuff, fish paste and rice drink. It was easy.

Okaasan waited patiently on a chair while I packed up the shopping, and then came back to the car willingly...with just a little pause near the bakery and the chocolate scones...

Phew. No piles of strange vegetables to prepare, cut and cook with soy sauce :-)

Yippeeeeeee!

I leave you with this...at that most traditional time of year...the bakery has created a bread tribute to the animal character of 2017..

Wallowing in grief

Oh god. When will it stop?

George Michael. Carrie Fisher...Richard Adams....2016 is just taking 'em all. Even the plane full of Russian army band members....

And adding to that. 

Dear Son was trying to call me many times yesterday, during my last working day of the year. Ominous. Calling me daytime.

Okaasan had burned the house down? Useless Older Sibling was dead in the family home with unpaid bills drifting? Work schedule???

Yup. Third guess lucky.

Dear Son was calling to say:"I won't be home for New Year....sorry...got more requests from rich foreign skiers....um...maybe January 1st? 2nd?...um....sorry..."

Of course I was all grown up and supportive about it. Congratulated him on being the most employed ski teacher in Hokkaido. Reassured him that all was well at home. See you "next year" joke joke....

Then I stood on the subway station and fought back the tears. Bugger. Bummer. And other British swear words.

When did he leave for ski work? Something like December 14? 15? Ages ago. First it was "back at Christmas"...then "before New Year"...now...well the ski resorts will close early May...

I AM ok. Really. Independent etc etc Can do it. Just. You know.....
It would be nice to have someone else sharing the house care - taking out the trash, remembering to buy cat food, creating dinners out of tofu....
I have all sorts of fun planned for winter holidays - dinners and lunches out. Skiing. Eating chocolate. Doing my accounts. 

But. Still.

Alone with Okaasan for Christmas AND New Year.

ha ha ha...

*** Noticed yesterday that Okaasan's favorite Macdonald's has had a revamp. This summer it was the supermarket she likes to go to. Now the Macdonald's. 
I have a theory that the supermarket renewal and redesign was bad for her mental condition this year....now the home of chicken Mcnuggets and a cup of coffee has undergone a renewal and is all red and black with plush seating. Mac-Japan trying to rebrand itself.

A non-Facebook Christmas

Don't you hate Facebook at Christmas?
All those pictures of food and jollity.
Other people's Christmas.

Mind you, if I was having a Christmas like that I'd be hitting "Post" button too.

So here, for you...is the non-Facebook Christmas...

Dear Son is still away. 3 weeks now. Maybe home for New Year....maybe he ran off with a ski instructor nymphet and hasn't told me yet. When he tells the ski nymphet about his 86 year old mum he'll come back to me...

Christmas in Japan this year was a wonderful 3 day weekend. The Emperor's birthday, then Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. 

Then Friday morning it started snowing here. And snowing. By evening we were thigh deep. A base of almost 1 m. Some 6,000 people camping out at the airport, trains and planes stopped. Holiday plans in a mess.

I was meant to be going to a friend's potluck party in a city near the airport, with a vegetarian lasagna. But I got on two trains at the chaotic station. One cancelled, the other threatening to be an all-station stopper into the snowy wastes...so I got off the trains and fled the crowds. Took the lasagna to a friend's home in the city.

Day Service came and took Okaasan out.....in the storm. These people are amazing! 

Christmas Eve was snow shoveling day. All day. It topped up my headcold nicely. I had no energy left to ski.

Then one cat went missing for 24 hours. I didn't sleep thru worry. Imagined him buried under a meter of snow. I waited up, failed to sleep...didn't see Santa...but finally the cat came home at 3 am. 

Christmas Day I sat on my own with a coffee and the TV.
Took my presents from under the cat tower tree and opened them....

Really, thanks to UK friends and students, I felt it WAS Christmas.....as chocolates, bath products, silly books and more chocolates came tumbling out. I had chocolate Santas for breakfast.

Lunch with Okaasan. Leftover vegetarian lasagna for me. Then took her out for a walk to the local supermarket. Millions of Japanese people had done their Christmas shopping, so it was quiet. We walked and looked at stuff. Had coffee in the Macdonalds. 

She is passive really. Just follows what I suggest. Sat for ages and looked out of the Macdonalds window at the parking area.

Came home. Ate more chocolate. Watched a Colin Firth movie on TV. Slept in a blanket with the cats on the floor.

Heated up supermarket chicken for dinner. Decorated the table. Wrapped a small present for Okaasan....a hand towel with a rose on it and a Christmas cookie. She opened the present and put it to one side on the table....I had to talk about it to get her to pick it up again and go thru the motions of talking about a present....and she thanked me sweetly. I think at some level she does know how much I do for her and appreciates it.

We talked about the cats. And roses. And the Santa candle decoration.

Then I came back upstairs to eat shortbread. And chocolate. Drank the plum brandy a student made.

Went to bed by 9pm knackered.

Such an exciting Christmas!

Dear Son? The bugger was  at a ski instructor's house for Christmas dinner. I saw pictures. Facebook.....I was invited too. But it was a 2 hour drive away and today - 26th - I had a 10 am lesson in the opposite direction. No chance. 

So. There you have it. 

A non-Facebook Christmas.