Sunday, 29 September 2013

Waiting to exhale................

And THAT my friends - THAT is Okaasan going to see an expert about her own body.
THAT is something worth taking a picture of! :-)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................let it all out. Exhale.

Such a normal thing, every day, in every place in the world: people have something wrong with their body, they go to someone who has training in body problems and they ask for help.
It's like child/school. Or food/kitchen. 
Just one of those normal equations of life.

But to get to this point has been so so long. Enormous struggle. You'd think Dear Son was taking Okaasan to open brain surgery,followed by leg amputation. Not a little bit of massage and muscle checking by a kind woman in a suburban chiropractic place.

Rewind to Friday: Okaasan decided to go for a walk late afternoon. Of course she doesn't know/remember that she hasn't been out alone for a walk for more than 2 weeks. So she gets to the Seicomart store, and has no energy to get back. Dear Son locates her with the GPS and as I am using the car for work he has to bring her back by taxi. (There's a whole mix-up about this between them, but I'll skip that in the interests of your sanity).
He gets her home and we all eat dinner sometime around 8.30 pm.

Saturday morning: I am hassling Dear Son from the moment we are awake to get ON with it. Find a chiro guy and GET Okaasan a booking and TAKE her there. He is getting testy with me, because I am on his case.
"This situation is not finished! Come ON! Stop watching TV and get on it! etc etc etc" I am nagging, he is snapping. We are so happy. Not. He does actually agree that this temporary improvement in Okaasan's condition shouldn't be the end of our efforts, because we've seen this before....he does accept that.

He gets on the computer and finds a local chiro. Makes a reservation for Sunday morning. I sigh with relief. He tells Okaasan that tomorrow she'll go and see someone who is just like the place she went to 20 years ago. She starts resisting, - not pain, not bad, I can heal myself etc etc etc etc etc etc..

THEN we have a cat crises to throw into the mix. Popo-chan has a cut above his eye, so we box him up and carry him yowling to the vets.
We get home, Okaasan is calling Dear Son stressily. She is up and walking round the kitchen: "Look! I can walk! I can walk well! I don't need help! etc etc etc etc"
Dear Son and Okaasan go for a walk to the local supermarket. She gets tired and leg pain, and he brings her home slowly.
We eat lunch.

Throw in another cat crises. The other cat has a similar injury to his eye! What on earth have they been doing? (Beating their heads against brick walls with frustration, like us?)

4 pm. Catch 2nd cat, box him up, transport him yowling to the vets.
Okaasan is sitting up in her room, putting on a jacket and looking like she might go out for another walk......

Saturday  evening. We actually have plans (cancelled before cos of Okaasan) - plans to go down to the city park and enjoy the German-theme beer festival. Drink away out stresses and remember that we are a couple who love eachother, and not just a nagger and nageee.

He preps a dinner for Okaasan. I hide her shoes from the entrance hall, so we hope she won't go out alone for a walk. And we escape.

Sunday morning. With hangovers. Dear Son goes in to tell Okaasan that they are going to the chiro soon. He has to go all thru the rigmarole again of why and why not, and why and so on. Absolutely exhausting.
Not sure if it is worse when she is actually in deep pain and reacts emotionally, or like now, when she has less pain and is reacting with all the reasons she can pluck out of her brain.

From her view: I feel fine. I can walk. I know how to care fotr my body because I studied the great Nishi-guru. WHY am I needing to go a doctor? Why?
From our view: 5 weeks of pain and reduced life, pain and drama. Despite temporary improvements in the condition, it ain't getting better.

I stay away from the discussion. It should be between son and mother. But it is tiring to listen to him trying. He is a master salesman. This is probably his hardest ever job.

And so. They have finally gone. Left the house. Gone to a chiro.

Let's see what happens next.

a) The chiro will say: "My GOD! No, this condition is way beyond what I can do, get theee to a hospital".
b) Okaasan will run away down the street and plead with passersby to adopt her?
c) We will bang our heads against more brick walls, box ourselves up and go yowling to the vets?

d) The chiro lady might...y'know...HELP ease the pain in Okaasan's legs.....

Oh. d). Let it be, pleeese let it be......


  1. Some cultures/ people have problems looking for expert help, others assume it. My acupuncturist told me how American I am ( I am an American living in australia) because I go for experts/outside help with issues. It had never occurred to me that this was a national trait, and I suspect it is more about familial upbringing than nationality. But I was provided with an example of the stick it out Aussie attitude of my MIL- she refused to see a doctor about pain relief for her osteoparosis. It took a recommendation from the checkout chick to push her, after her family had already provided opinions. And she self medicated with alcohol.
    Japan does have a very stoic mindset.
    Okaasan is clearly very independent minded. Hopefully the Chiro does help, and you can keep reinforcing it in talk.

    1. Interesting! Yes - I think that the wartime generation in any country have a very can-do-myself attitude - and in Japan that is doubled by the traditinional ways mindset too. Okaasan was very influenced by a natural health teacher called Nishi in the 1950s and now her attitudes are set in immovable stone.

  2. Congratulations!! It's progress! Hope it went well.

  3. I hope it went well today, been sending positive thought up north all day......Anna

  4. Fingers crossed! And LOVE that picture of you and your man.
    T in Tokyo