Tokiko reminded me that I haven't said anything about: Yujiro discovering I am writing this blog about life with his mother.
Actually I was hoping if I forgot about it, it didn't happen.
But it did. He saw the open blog page on the computer the other day.
Yesterday I sent the link to it to his email address and left him a note on the computer telling him he was welcome to read it.
I don't know if he has or not.
Don't ask. Don't tell!!!!
I DO believe that there is nothing in this blog I am embarrassed for him to read. I started this blog last year as a way to tell friends and close students what the whole experience of my new life was like. It saved me endlessly writing emails and letters and having the same conversation with people. And it was a way for me to think-out my stresses by writing.
I don't write anything I wouldn't tell (and do tell) friends. So I don't think Yujiro would be shocked by anything here or feel I've made public any deep secrets.
I hope not anyway.
I've never done a blog before. And to be honest, I'd never read a blog before,.
I'd be interested to hear from other bloggers: what are the ethics of this? Did you tell the people you blog about that they are in a blog? Did you ask their permission?
How does it work?
I'm not sure - one thing I am sure of though is that I don't want you to stop this blog! I don't think your story with MIL is over yet, and I feel like I have made a friend in you! (Or at least a pleasant aquaintance, seeing as we have never met in real life....) I also deeply admire the way you live with MIL and her foibles, are frustrated and worried by her and yet live in harmony with and appreciate her too. That takes grace and it's something I need more of in my selfish little life.
ReplyDeleteMy husband asked me never to post pics or details that could identify his job and I try not to give enough details that people know where we live (but someone has already sussed it out so I'n not good at the deception it seems!). Some people don't use real names. I don't use our family names but I do use our personal names. Not sure if that's safe or not but I'm not sure who would want to attack us or how anyway.... Most people are very traceable from many other sources these days anyway.
That's the personal safety aspect. Personal privacy. Now that Y knows about the blog maybe you'll have to ask him what he wants including/not including. But you have always written with respect and love for him and his mum and I do hope that he can see that this is an important family record. Yes, you could keep a paper diary which would be completely private but then you wouldn't get the comments and encouragement that I know for me personally is what keeps me blogging and gives me great satisfaction and pleasure.....
Hi Vicky,
ReplyDeleteThankyou for your kind thoughts!
Yes, it is funny how you get close to people through reading these Blogs...I feel the support and interest of people far and wide.
Admire me? oh no...I'm doing only 30% of what I should be doing with Okaasan, I do none of the bonding things like join-shopping trips or chatting that she'd get with a Japanese Oyome-san...mainly because my leg this year meant I couldn't get out. But also because I lead a busy working life, and in my time off I just don't want to spend it with her!
Her son is the admirable person in all of this - mainly of course because HE couldn't work and so he was always home, cooking and chatting!!!
About the Blogging and Privacy.
Yes,I started trying to use initials and not names...but that became strange and I slipped out of the habit.
I can understand your husband's feelings...probably Yujiro wouldn't really like some of his ski buddies reading about his home life...but I really really doubt they would ever find this Blog.
Okaasan and her Saitama family are the same - would they ever actually read these meanderings?
I hope he doesn't want me to stop, or edit what I write - but I guess it IS his right.
Anyway. I haven't asked him if he has read it, and he hasn't said...so we are operating on that basis for now. I gave him the blog address...he is welcome to join us here!
I'm with Vicky on this one - please keep writing this wonderful blog! I'm sure there's nothing in it that you should be embarrassed for Yujiro to read.
ReplyDeleteOn the question of ethics etc, here's my experience in case it helps! I started a blog recently (just as an experiment really, to see how it works). I created a "character" that is basically just one facet of my personality (the grumpy woman - remember her?) and had planned to stay anonymous. Of course, that's gone by the wayside - I showed it to my partner and let friends and colleagues know about it. However, I decided to refer to my partner by a pseudonym and use only first names for other friends/acquaintances. I don't plan to give away any important or private details about where we live, who we work for etc.
Keep up the good work! xxx